


chasing you // reddie au

by loser_reddie



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT(2017) - Fandom, Reddie - Fandom
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, M/M, Movie: IT (2017), Possessive Richie, Reddie, Reddie Fluff, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, eddie doesn't know how to feel, richie chases after eddie, richie/eddie - Freeform, richie/eddie fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 08:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20945294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser_reddie/pseuds/loser_reddie
Summary: richie tozier. apart of henry bowers group of tormentors.eddie kaspbrak. apart of the infamous losers club.two opposites of the same town, same school, and two different beating hearts.you know what they say, opposites attract. right?





	1. before reading.

( lowercase intended for story ) 

hi, 

i genuinely have no clue what this story is going to intel as im going to be writing it as i go along, as i do with most of my stories on here and in real life. 

some things i'm going to point out now is that im not writing any _physical abuse from parents. _for some reason in a lot of these Richie/Eddie stories their parents are abusive, im not doing that.

second's, bill isn't going to have stutter. or a big one anyway. i'm not doing him dirty like that. 

Georgie is going to be alive but probably not a big part of the story. 

this is a parallel universe obviously, so pennywise and the loser friend group isn't going to be the same/ alive.

im basing the characters off of the 2017 movies IT. basing. this means they might not come off the same as they do in the movie, because as said before its a "parallel universe" 

as for relationships, for now all i'm worried about it richie and eddie's. most of this likely being in eddies view/ third

there's going to be mistakes as i always go back after i post to fix them. 

thanks 

_**EDIT FEB 4, 2020**_ \- hi, so i'm doing some reconstructing on the eairler chapters so if you get past certain points and the writing different, i'm updating everything now. i'm also adding timestamps at the beginning of each chapter. 

much love 


	2. one

_eddie** september 3, 1991 **_   
  
  
  
  
  
  


summer. my favorite season. partly because i loved the silky look my skin got because of the sun. partly because i got to be with my friends every day. but mostly, being able to stay away from the hellhole everyone calls school for three months.

the trees around me sung softly as they swayed, moving with the warm blowing wind of summers heat. i sighed from my nose, a small hum coming from my throat as i did, praying that summer never ended so i could stay here, sunbathing in bill's back yard. but like everything good, it ends.

"eddie." i glanced over at bill, who laid to my right, his pale skin almost shimmering from the suns constant heat. i decided to cut in before he began speaking again.

"you should really put on more sunscreen bill. maybe then you can get a tan so you and the sun wouldn't have to compete all the time on who was the brightest."

a small snort came from my left belonging to beverly. "funny." he mumbled, unamused. "are we meeting up here tomorrow before school?" i grimaced. "please don't remind me summer's over tomorrow."

beverly ignored my plea and instead answered bill. "sure. what time?" i huffed, settling back into the beach lawn chair i inhabited for the last two hours. "maybe around 7:10." she nodded, with an 'i'll be there' from ben.

"eddie?" bill questioned. i opened my eyes, letting my brain rack over the nagging thoughts that i was trying so hard to forget this past week. "7:10." i answered in defeat. 

'_** september 4, 1991**_

7:00. i looked over at my kitchen clock grumbling softly at the time, while picking up my bookbag. "eddie?" i heard my mom call from her spot on the living room recliner. i could have rolled my eyes.

"yeah?"

"did you take your medicine this morning?" i looked over at the bottle sitting on the counter.

i didn't, but what she didn't know won't hurt her. "uh-huh." i answered, picking up the bottle filled with red pills. i popped open the bottle, letting one of the pills roll into my hand. i hid it in my fist while setting the bottle back down.

i made my way out of the kitchen through the hallway, to the front door. my hand grasped the handle, halfway opening it before i was stopped. "eddie? aren't you forgetting something."

i looked around the small wall opening to my mother who sat in the recliner, in a postion i already saw her in before seeing her. i looked back at the door and inhaled.

"see you later, mom." i shoved myself out of the house, the door closing with a loud thud. i picked up my bike, hopping on it quickly before she had time to come the door and demand me to give her a kiss.

i was already halfway down the road before i heard a faint 'eddie!' i smiled a little to myself and looked back, making sure i was far enough away before i threw the pill into a patch of forest. she took the day off work today, claiming that she had to see me leave for my first day of school like every other year.

when i tried to explain to her there was no reason to because the tenth grade was like any other first day, she threw a fit on how i was trying to push her away.

i peddled faster, curious on if i could beat my own personal record to bills house, which was about two miles away from mine.

when i saw his house come into view, i began slowing down, my foot chafing against the cement of the road, the bottom of my shoe wearing down even more. i stopped myself completely when i got to the front of bills driveway and saw three people standing there as well. bill gave me a closed lip smile, with a small 'hey ed's'.

i nodded my head to him and looked at the other two. "morning triple b's. wheres stan?" i laughed quietly at my own joke, while the other stayed quiet.

"he should be here s-soon." bill mumbled. i smiled at little him, nodding my head. the only time bill stuttered was when he was nervous or upset. though i couldn't blame him. i was nervous too. just as bill answered, another sound of feet skidding came from behind me. I turned around, stanley stopping beside me.

"losers," he greeted with an out of breath smile.

stanley live the farthest away from all of us, and in the mornings his father, rabbi uris, made him read a section from the torah as a custom to their daily life style. "we ready?" we all nodded, getting back on our bicycles, peddling until derry high came into view.

we each locked our bikes on the rack. i looked up at the building, the bold letters reading, _"derry high". _it sent shivers down my spine and a frown on my face. a warm hand clasped my shoulder and i looked over to see beverly giving me a warm smile. i smiled back. a closed-lipped one, but a smile.

bill looked down at his watch then back up at us. "we should get going g-guys. its 7:20." we all nodded, following each other up the stairs and into the main hall, where we stopped and grabbed our schedules.

i went to my locker, glancing down at the combination code on my paper, then back at the combination lock. i finally opened my locker after fiddling with the dial, which seemed like it took minutes. i threw everything but a pencil and my notebook in the red locker and slammed it shut.

while turning around i ran right into something hard. it startled me, so i instantly stepped back and looked up, ready to frantically apologize to whoever i ran into until i saw who it was.

henry bowers.

"why don't you watch where you're walking next time, fairy." i could feel the shiver in my spine come back like the one that was outside.

i looked back down at my book and closed my eyes, wishing that he would just walk away and that i could just disappear. eventually, he did, but not before pushing the side of my body into the locker beside me.

i gasped in pain, dropping both my notebook and pencil onto the ground. a group of chuckles came as bowers and his gang walked away from me. i huffed softly and picked up my things, looking behind me, watching them as i stumbled toward my group of friends, holding my shoulder.

bill was the first one to run up to me, "eddie! are you o-okay?" i nodded and looked away from the group to look at bill. then the rest came after, crowding around me. "fucking bowers." bill mumbled. "i wish i could just kill him."

stanley made a face, as he looked ahead of me.

"what's wrong stan?" beverly questioned. he opened his mouth, then shut it again, pointing a small finger. "is it just me, or is richie tozier staring at eddie." all five of our heads, shot towards the fingers direction where bowers gang just tumbled down the hallway. the circle that richie was apart of.

sure enough, two piercing eyes were boring right back into mine. he stood behind everyone else, leaning up against one of the lockers, a cigarette hanging off his ear, dark curls almost covering it.

heat rose to my cheeks from part fear and part embarrassment from the hard stare. i quickly looked away, a small grimace forming on my face again.

though all five of us had eyes on him, he continued to look at me. i felt uncomfortable with me being the only one having my back turned. "is he still looking?" i asked in a frantic hushed voice. bill gripped my arm and pulled me away, his glare never faltering from richies face.

when he did, i began to panic. "what the fuck does that mean? bill! what the fuck does that mean!" i knew what it meant, everyone knew what it meant, i just want to believe it to be true. he shook his head while we began speed walking to our class. the other four following behind. "fuck, i-i dont know."

"you'll be fine eddie!" beverlys words of encouragement did nothing for the shortness of breath or pain in my chest. "he's not going to corner you with all of us together."

"corner me?" i croaked out. stan shot beverly a look.

richie had a habit for the last three school years picking out one specific person to taunt and make miserable. he would basically stalk them and usually, it didn't take long for him to find his target.

when he does, the rest of the crew left that person alone. they call it, _'richies toy', _though i wasn't all that sure the rest wasn't still behind the malicious intents.

we all stopped outside of the classroom door. i felt on my hips for my fanny pack, cursing when i realized that was one of the things i had left in the locker. along with it, my inhaler.

stan grabbed my arm and forced me to look at him, his hazel eyes showing worry, though his voice never faltering confidence. "eddie, you're going to be fine. he's not going to hurt you, i promise."

still breathing in heavy short breaths, i nodded my head. the class bell rang and i looked at my friends. beverly and ben gave me an encouraging smile before they walked away. stan patted my arm and walked away too.

i looked up at bill who was still glancing down the hallway.

"c'mon eds. lets go to class." 


	3. two

_eddie **september 5, 1991**_   
  
  
  
  
  


the second day of school and it seemed that hell really does know how to pick up where it was left off. for most of the summer, all of us agreed to just do personal hangouts in the places we knew were safe like the quarry or at someone's house.

most of the time it was bill's because of his pool and somewhat spacious area and it honestly seemed to work out just fine for us. we avoided anyone we didn't want to see, and because we were together, got ten times closer.

i sorta felt bad for the other kids in town who had to endure bowers without us there to pick up the slack, but right now, being back in school, and the for some fucking reason the easiest target i didn't feel bad one bit.

stanley slammed his tray down against the lunch table, making all four of us jump. we all glared at him, and he mumbled a small apology while he sat in front of me. he pulled a piece paper out from his bookbag and laid it in the middle of the table.

we all leaned across to look at the paper, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as i picked it up. "what is this?" i questioned glancing up at him. he shrugged. "a party invitation." beverly raised her eyebrow holding out a hand for me to pass the paper to her.

"you got invited to a party?" stanley smiled. "no, we got invited to a party." "how?" ben asked curiously, looking over beverly's shoulder to get a glimpse of the paper as well.

"i found it on the ground. it's this weekend." bill grabbed it from ben, and scoffed. "going to a party we weren't invited to? are you crazy?" beverly shrugged her shoulders. "i think it could be fun."

ben nodded, agreeing with her. "i mean yeah why not? we haven't really did anything social all summer. it might be fun." bill shook his head. "yeah to keep us safe! all s-summer no one fucked with us-"

i shook my head and looked away, a small smile creeping on my face as all of them argued back and forth. i looked over to stanley when i felt a pair of eyes watching me. my face paled when i realized it wasn't stanley, it was just coming from his direction.

i let out a shaky breath, my eyes widening. two dark eyes bored into my face, his expression unreadable. his eyes didn't stay attached on one feature too long. they seemed to skim every detail on my skin, like waiting for an answer to a question he never asked.

i quickly reached my hand over the table, looking away as fast as possible, smacking stanley's arm. "ow, what?" he looked at me, annoyance reading his face. "u-uh, switch with me." i pleaded. "what? why?"

"stan, switch seats with me! please!" my eyes wandered back over to where richie sat, my chest constricting.

his expression changed. it was now a menacing smirk. his skinny pale hand reached behind his ear and pulled out a cigarette. stan noticed where my eyes had moved to and turned his body around.

when i saw him smirk, a small noise came from my lips. "oh fuck." i pushed my chair out from the table and grabbed my bag. i felt nauseous. "i have to go to the bathroom." i rushed out quickly, not waiting for a response from my friends.

at this point, everyone had stopped arguing and all looked behind stan then at me. i was already out of the cafeteria door, and sprinting down the hallways to the nearest bathroom.

as soon as i was in a stall, i let it out, coughing through the amounts of bile that came up, tears springing to my eyes from the burn in my throat. when i was finished i sat down against the bathroom wall, with my head in between my knees, breathing heavily.

i tilted my head back up, when i felt my chest tightening again and the inability to breath.

it might've seemed over the top to feel sick, but the nervousness i felt seemed to overcome any rationalization that this probably wasn't as bad as i thought.

i scrambled to grab my bag, ripping through everything in it, until i finally found my inhaler pumping the medicine into my lungs, coughing afterward.

my face twisted up at the taste in my mouth. it could've made me gag again. i stood up and walked out the stall, to the sink to rinse out my mouth. it still tasted terrible so i left the bathroom in search of my locker.

i turned the dial to open my locker and began scrounging around for my emergency fanny pack dabbing the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand.

when i found it, i opened the zipper and took a nausea pill, along with a piece of gum. i pulled my arms out of my locker to unwrap the gum. when i did, my locker door slammed shut. i jumped back and looked to the left, where my locker door was closed. a shriek fell from my lips when i jumped back and my gum fell out of my hands.

leaning on his shoulder with the same threatening smirk stood richie tozier; a lit cigarette hanging from fingers and the same cold eyes staring back into mine.

my mind went blank, and my fight or flight senses were at it's peak, but i just stood there. frozen; like he had put a spell on my mind telling me to stay put. he took a step closer and i took a step back. his eyes began to wander again. this time, they went a little bit further, his eyes lingering on my body.

my hands began to shake.

we continued this game of cat and mouse until there was nowhere else i could back up to and my back hit the cold locker. i never took my eyes off of his face, afraid that if i were even to blink, something so quickly could happen. and i'd rather be prepared then not.

his face was blank again. expressionless. his hands slammed up against the locker, on both sides of my head, blocking me in. he blew a long puff of smoke from his cigarette into my unexpecting mouth that was still partially open from the shock and fear.

i instantly began coughing, my lungs taking in the smoke that i seemingly had to control over keeping out.

he smirked at that, obviously finding my pain enjoyable to watch. his nose pressed against my neck and even though i was still suffocating from the smoke, i stopped breathing as my body froze from the cold nose against my jugular.

he mumbled something incoherently to my ringing ears, my brain too fuzzy with confusion and fear to comprehend what he was whispering in my ear. "w-what?"i whimpered.

the bell rang making me jump. he pulled his head up from my neck, my cheeks heating up as i heard my own heart beating out of my chest. he gave me a smug smile, dropping his hands away from my head as he whisked away down the hallway, his long legs carrying heavy strides.

as soon as he was out of sight, i dropped to my knees and began coughing again, tears of distress and anger welling up in my eyes. 'what?' i couldn't think of anything better than 'what?'

i scrambled over to my locker after the same panicking tightness came back into my chest for the third time in fifteen minutes. i pulled out my inhaler, pumping the clean medicine into my lungs once more.

i sat back against the locker like i had done in the bathroom, this time banging my head on the locker behind me ignoring the whispers of kids around my shaking figure.   
  


"fuck."


	4. three

_eddie ** september 7, 1991**_   
  
  
  


we all sat in bill's room, it was saturday afternoon and the party invitation that stan had picked up stated that the party that was supposed to happen, was tonight.

i was sitting on the floor next to stan, picking at the loose fabrics of bill's bedroom floor, listening absent-mindedly to the conversation happening in front of me.

i decided not to tell anyone what happened in the hallway with richie. i was mortified and pissed off at myself that i just stood there and let it happen instead of running away or kneeing him in the balls when i had the chance.

it made me uncomfortable and i really didn't want to have that conversation right now. i looked up, leaning my head against the wall, my eyes bouncing back and forth between each person when they spoke.

"ed's help me out here." bill spoke, his voice laced with annoyance. i jumped at the sound of my voice, "huh, what?"

"help me out." he repeated. "it's a terrible idea to go this party, isn't it?" beverly cut in. "i don't understand why you're being so stubborn on this bill. its not like-"

"it's not like what? b-bowers is gonna be there. when isn't he?"

I was about to shrug my shoulders, not really caring what we did, until bill mentioned bowers group. my eyes widened a little and my palms began to sweat.

_richie_. i nodded my head, looking at bill. "he's right guys. i don't think we should go. you know what will happen if bowers sees us."

bill smiled triumphantly, glad that he had someone on his side. stan glared at him then huffed, smacking his hands down onto his lap, bumping my arm in the process.

"let's make it fair. all in favor of going to the party, raise your hand." the three of them raised their hands while bill and i glanced at each other, the inevitable coming to a conclusion.

bill and i lost. stan and beverly smiled

"what time are we going?"   
  


'

i shifted uncomfortably looking at myself in the mirror. i borrowed some of bills clothes because going back home to get a better set of clothes would have never happened, as my mother would have demanded me to stay home after i got there.

though thinking about it now, that probably wouldn't have been such a bad thing.

the shirt underneath was fine as it was one of georgies' plain white t-shirts. it pained me to think i could still fit comfortably in a twelve year old's clothes. but, the flannel on top was bills. i rolled the sleeves up twice and they still were loose and baggy on my arms.

beverly came from behind me, and smiled at me in the mirror. "you look fine eddie. i don't know why you're panicking."

i shook my head, a sigh leaving my lips. "i'm not worried about how i look beverly. that's the least of my problems." i mumbled the last part to myself. she turned her head to look at me. "so then what is the problem?"

i shook my head again, sitting at bill's desk chair. i knew if i asked beverly to keep something to herself, she would die before she told anyone, but what was there to tell her? i'm not even sure what happened.

bill walked in with a sour face and stan behind him, smiling. "we ready losers?" we all looked up at him then at each other.

'

myra dale, the host of the party.

myra's parents moved to a pretty secluded area, the only house around hers was about 6 miles down, trees crowding in-between. apparently, they weren't home very often though i didn't see that as a bad thing. i'm lucky if my mom leaves to go grocery shopping after work. 

we each dropped our bikes on the other side of the street, stanley and i most paranoid of getting them taken. as we got closer, the music got louder.

i glanced nervously at bill, who seemed just as worried.

we were known as the losers to everybody. to make ourselves feel better about it, we made it our own little inside joke. but still, why would anyone even expect us to come? they didn't, that's why stanley got his invitation from the bathroom floor.

looking over to my left, i saw the familiar blue car that belonged to one of the members of bowers circle.

my heart dropped a little and the nausea from the other day returned. beverly took the lead and led us to the front door. walking in, we were instantly bombarded with sweaty, drunk teenagers and loud, trashy music.

a sticky body bumped into mine and i jumped, a small scream falling from my mouth. "ah! i hate this, i fucking hate this!" stanley looked over at me. "but we just got here." i gave him a glare.

"you seriously thought that i was going to enjoy it? the music hurts my ears, it smells like," i smelt the air and gagged a little, "wet dog, i'm not doing this. i'm leaving."

"eddie, don't leave." stan begged, grabbing my arm.

i pulled away, opening the door. i looked up from the doorknob stopping my stride. 3 of the 5 members of bowers posse were huddled down at the bottom of the lawn. exactly where i would need to go to get across the street for my bike.

i slammed the door shut, turning around and facing my four friends. they all gave me a confused look. my heart thumped loudly against my ribcage as i thought about the familiar dark curls i saw faintly from the street lights.

"outside. bowers gang." i mumbled, grabbing my chest. "shit," beverly mumbled. "was he with them?"

my eyebrows furrowed and i shook my head. "no, actually." she shrugged, "so we'll be fine. we all know they don't do anything without their leader." she laughed at herself before wandering off deeper into the living room. i closed my eyes and opened them again. "i need a drink."

bill nodded before pointing down the hallway. "just meet s-stan and i out back." i nodded back and we all dispersed in different directions. ben following beverly and stan and bill going to the backyard to watch the fireworks.

i walked into the kitchen and picked up a red plastic cup. i walked to the bowl that i assumed was punch. i used the ladle and poured some in the cup. i moved it up to my nose, smelling the liquid.

i grimaced at the smell, but shrugged my shoulders and took a drink of it anyway. it was strong and had a bitter taste at the end. i grimaced, thinking it over before putting it down. who knew what someone put in that.

i looked up when the door swung open, harshly hitting the wall behind it. the entrance revealed two rowdy boys and a third trailing behind. my eyes widened when i spotted richie, the third one of the trio to walk in.

his eyes scanned the room like he was looking for something. my breathing became choppy. did he see our bikes outside? god, fuck, he had to of. i should've known they would come in eventually. i ducked behind a pillar that held up the island counter.

i looked around it, hoping to find at least one of my friends, cursing when i couldn't spot any of them and when i couldn't see richie anymore.

i closed my eyes, trying to steady my shaking hands. why every time richie tozier decides to stalk me, friends are nowhere to be found? i opened them again, glancing around the corner, before making a break for it down the hallway to the back doors where i hoped stan and bill were.

i sped walked, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself as i dodged the sweaty bodies that tried to rub against me.

i got to the back sliding glass door and opened it, just for it to be shut again, a hand quickly covering mine. i froze, goosebumps rising on my skin from the contact of the other person. i refused to look up and opened the door again, just for it to be closed once more.

i glared up at the person the hand belonged to, the same smug smile dancing on his lips. "do you mind?" i pulled my hand out from underneath his, startling myself that i spoke back.

he seemed to find it amusing as he shrugged, pulling his hand away too. "not at all." he got closer. close enough i could smell the lingering scent of cigarettes and cologne.

"where've you been at little mouse? i was looking for you." even though i already came to the conclusion he saw our bikes, this confirmed it. i cursed at myself for not going home for the change of clothes. my mouth opened, but nothing came out as i stumbled backward over someone's shoe. he kicked it out of the way and cornered me against the wall.

"eddie?"

i could've screamed with glee when i heard my name.

"b-bill? bill! over here! h-"

i was cut off when a hand covered my mouth, and brown eyes met mine. he was irritated though his eyes shined with interest under the blinking led lights. i was breathing roughly against his hand while he glared down at me, his head moving down to mine, his lips touching the shell of my ear as he spoke.

"to meet again."

he pulled away, walking back down the hallway, pushing past people with disinterest. i watched him walk away, my skin finally settling, the goosebumps fading away. i grimaced, taking my hands across my face and ear roughly, trying to wipe away any remains from richies' dirty hand.

i jumped when i felt someone grab my arm, looking up, bill stared at me in fear. "f-fuck eddie, i'm sorry i didn't do anything. a-a-are you o-okay?" he spoke in a hurry, worry laced in his voice.

"fine." i mumbled. "i need to take a shower." he nodded his head quickly taking my hand. "what about the others?" i asked, looking at bill as he pushed through the crowd of people.

"f-fuck the others." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi,  
I hope everyone is enjoying the story. thank you to everyone who is reading and supporting the story, I appreciate it a ton. if anyone has any requests or questions about the story, let me know, I enjoy all feed back. much love.


	5. four

_eddie **september 7/8, 1991**_   
  
  
  
  
  


_stan caught up with us before we left, out of breath from racing down the long driveway and through the crowds of people._

_"hey, where are you guys going?"_

_bill didn't look at him and instead picked up my bike, holding it out for me to take, afterward picking up his own. "back to my house." stan looked at me then back at bill. "why? it's not that bad in there."_

_bill shook his head and looked at him. "b-because stanley. i knew we shou-shouldn't have come. are you coming or not?"_

_third_

eddie laid on bill's bed facing the window, bill beside him. both were quiet. bill afraid to disturb eddie's slumber, and eddie still, so bill didn't know he was awake.

he wasn't sure why, but his heart was heavy. it could have been the fact that he was tired and his mind kept racing, or maybe because he just needed a good cry over something. anything.

silent tears fell onto the cotton pillow cover, eddie wanting so bad to sniffle, but not wanting to expose himself for crying, but bill knew. he heard the small shudders of the crying boy when he left out a breath, or the subtle shaking of his shoulders when he would let out a particularly harder cry. bill couldn't tell if he was crying _in_ his sleep or if he was cryingto _fall _asleep.

either way, bill's heart was heavy too. he moved closer to eddie under the covers, wrapping an arm around the boys' small, pudgy waist. eddie jumped but decided to leave the arm there, enjoying the extra warmth that came from it.

neither said anything, taking in the silence and warmth that radiated off of each other. eddie felt himself begin to slip into his ever needed slumber, listening to the steady heartbeat coming from bill's chest, his bigger cries becoming soft whimpers muffled by the pillow.

"i promise eddie."

"promise what?" eddie's small voice caught bill off guard. instead of answering, he just moved closer, laying his head on eddie's pillow, taking in the scent of berries from eddie's hair, squeezing his arm tighter around his waist.

"I just promise."

'

_eddie_

"wake up sleepyheads." i jumped when a pillow hit my face, my arm swinging backwards accidentally hitting bill in the stomach with my elbow. he groaned softly, my blow obviously waking him. "ow, eddie." i laughed a little, turning on my back to move my elbow away from his stomach.

"i'm sorry! bev's the one who scared me. it's her fault." i accused. 

she scoffed and threw the pillow on the floor. "not my fault you're jumpy. now c'mon you two. up. we're going to the movies." she pulled bill's comforter off us both, the cold morning air, nipping at my legs.

i groaned loudly and went to move just for the weight of bill's arm to pull me back down. memories started to float back from last night. did we sleep like that all night? heat rose to my face, this time sitting up quicker so bill's arm had no choice but to fall off of me.

i swung my legs over the edge of the bed and glanced at beverly who said nothing and just sat the blanket back down on the sheets. bill sat up next, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "um, what time did you g-guys get back?"

she shrugged looking in between the two of us. i wish she wouldn't of. "around eleven, maybe." i stood up, refusing to look at her. i went to my overnight bag and began digging through it to find my toothbrush and clothes.

the two continued their conversation and i blocked out most of it. i showered last night when we got here so i made a mental note to grab the rest of my stuff from the bathroom.

i excused myself and began walking down the hallway, passing by georgie's room which was right next to the bathroom. he wasn't home this weekend, it was his weekend with his and bill's mom.

mr. and mrs. denbrough aren't divorced, just separated. she decided on her own to move out. bill resented her for it, claiming that it was her decision to leave that pulled their family apart even more, so he only went once a month to see her, sometimes not even then.

it wasn't set in stone because there was no legal agreement so neither his dad or mom made him do something he didn't want to.

i brushed my teeth, turning the water on a higher setting to block out the faint memories that lingered in the back of my mind.

apparently, it didn't work that well. my mind seemed to wander anyway. maybe i shouldn't, in fact i _know_ i shouldn't, but i couldn't help to think how close _he_ was to me. the cigarette smell coming from his clothes, strong, but the mint smell from his breath intoxicating.

it shouldn't have felt any different from when he cornered me against the school lockers but even then my brain turned to mush. 

i felt myself blush from embarrassment. "fuck, eddie." i mumbled to myself putting away my belongings in the toiletries bag.

i jumped when the bathroom door slammed open and a very tired looking stanley uris stumbled in. he held the back of his hand up to his face, shielding his eyes from the light as he flicked the bathroom light off.

it was my turn to put my hand up to my face, covering my nose. he smelt terrible. "god stan. shower would you?"

he mumbled something and sat on the lid of the toilet seat, his head in his hands. i couldn't help but giggle to myself, knowing that he was probably paying for last night. i was curious about how ben was.

i opened bill's medicine cabinet looking for something to hopefully take the edge off of his headache. i came across a bottle of aspirin and picked it up, carefully placing three in his hand.

he thanked me, pointing to the glass for me to fill up with water. i grabbed it turning on the faucet, reaching my finger underneath to make sure it was cold and no longer warm.

"so uh, how come you and bill just left last night? i mean i know you two didn't want to come, but it wasn't that bad, was it?"

i felt the heat rise to my cheeks again and cursed at myself for being so self-conscious. i shrugged, handing the cup over to him and turning off the water, keeping my eyes away from his stare.

he didn't push and instead set the cup down in front of me when it was empty.

'

we decided to walk to the movie theater since it wasn't that far away from bill's house. bill offered to drive us there since his dad gave them their old subaru, but there weren't enough seats for us to all fit comfortably and bill's driving wasn't all that good.

we walked behind the movie theater to the back door, bev moving her way in front and prying the door open with a thin, metal sheet that was hidden behind the dumpsters.

bill grabbed the door when the piece of metal pried most of it open.

we all hurried in, bill letting the door close behind him. "hey, what movie are we even seeing?" i asked. "hopefully not a loud one." stanley commented, rubbing the side of his temple.

"whichever theater is the closet." beverly shrugged.

we slid against the wall, hoping to go unnoticed by the uninterested movie workers as we opened the movie theater door and rushed in.

this was something bev did long before she met us, so out of pure luck, got away with it every time.

we sat in the back upon stanleys request and started passing around the backpack that bill brought along that contained snacks.

the movie started and i couldn't keep my attention to it. i scooted down further in my seat, and the hoodie that i borrowed from bill, shifted upwards against my chin.

i looked over at my friends to find them all immersed, and huffed. great. now i'm stuck here in a movie that sucks and all of my friends are into it. i could leave if i wanted to, but there was nothing better for me to do.

i glanced to my right and saw a head of curly hair and my heart stopped beating.

no fucking way.

the person moved his head and i saw his face, my body instantly relaxing from the tense state it was just in. i rubbed under my eyes quickly. i sat up looking over at stanley, "i'll be back, going to the bathroom." i whispered.

he nodded his head looking over at me. "want me to come with you?" i thought about it for a moment, before shrugging. "i'll be fine."

i was on the end of the row, so it wasn't hard to get out and duck my way through the dark theater. i walked out, hoping none of the workers would ask for my ticket and walked into the bathroom.

i instantly went over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror, glaring harshly.

i turned on the water the coldest it could go and pulled up my sleeves, cupping my hands under the water and splashing it on my face. "get it together, kaspbrak. get it together. "

"thinking about someone?"

my head whipped up at the voice, my body turning around so fast it made my head go dizzy. i blinked quickly, ignoring the burning sensation from the water falling into my eyes and faint feeling going through my body. i squinted, though it didn't take long to recognize who it was.

"are you following me?" were the first words that came out of my mouth.

he laughed. laughed. i startled at the sound, not thinking that would be his first reaction. i wiped the remaining water off my face so i could look at him better.

i don't think i've ever seen him smile before. he was leaning against the bathroom wall. when did he get there? i didn't even hear the door open. he shrugged, a small smile still lingering on his lips. "so what if i am."

i kept myself the same distance away, my back still against the sink.

"how- i mean... we didn't even bring our bikes." he shrugged again, his face now neutral.

"i have my sources."

"sources?"

"sources," he confirmed.

i felt awkward. the atmosphere was different. it wasn't threatening as it had been before, but it wasn't any better either. part of me thought he could tell as another smile formed on his face and he pushed himself off the wall to come towards me.

my heart began racing again, but this time, i didn't move, i just watched him walk toward me.

when he was close enough, he placed his hands beside me on the sink and began examining my face, like he did that second day of school. for some reason right now, even though i was still scared, i couldn't help but notice that i wasn't as frantic. 

he noticed too as his expression changed momentarily. i decided to look back at him, taking in all his features had to offer. 

his lips were such a flushed pink color like he was constantly biting them or putting on tinted chapstick. his face was pale, and freckles were splattered under his eyes and across his nose.

i felt myself holding my breath, small sweat beads starting to form on my forehead, the sweatshirt i was wearing becoming restricting and making it hard for me to breathe.

"do you always do this?" i mumbled out. 

his eyebrows furrowed, but he didn't say anything so i decided to continue.

"this." i motioned between us with my eyes. "when you pick someone out, do you always stalk them and play mind games with them?"

i more stated it like it was a fact then of a question.

he smirked and looked me down and back up again.

"just the ones i like."


	6. five

_third_   
  
  
  
  
  


_eddie blinked, his mind going blank. his head felt dizzy and his mouth stuttered for words, the smell of icy mint gum filling his nostrils was not helping his failing brain._

_"i- uh.. i have to get back to my friends. they'll..they'll start to worry." he pointed his thumb in the direction of the door, his sweatshirt sleeve falling down his arm. richie watched as the sleeve made it's small movements down the smaller boy's arm and furrowed his eyebrows._

_eddie didn't understand why he was watching so intensely, and the panicking feeling began to fill his stomach with butterflies again._

_richie looked at eddie's attire and picked up one the sweatshirt strings, rolling it in between his fingers like he would a cigarette in deep thought._

_he inhaled and the same blank stare fell over his features again. it didn't smell like eddie. it smelled of lavender detergent and only the faintest of eddie's normal sweet smell, - which he assumed was body wash - was starting to fade through._

_"who's is this." the words startled eddie, but he didn't know why. it was like he had been caught doing something bad and was now being called out for it. he thought about his choices. lie and say it was his, or tell the truth and risk being pummeled to the ground._

_his brain didn't seem to work fast enough as his lips deceived him._

_"bill's." richie looked back up at eddie, as though to see if the boy had a reaction to the name. he didn't, he just looked back at richie, his eyes big and his lips slightly parted as he breathed shakily._

_richies eyes became hard and icy, like the first day of school when eddie first locked eyes with him._

_he straightened his posture and moved to the side, letting eddie through. eddie slid past his arms and without looking back, left the bathroom._

_'_

_eddie **september 11, 1991 **_

i rummaged through my locker looking for my books, my hands shakily moving loose papers to look for the important ones, making a mental note to myself to organize my things. i decided to go to school early today, not waiting for my friends at bill's house.

i thought that maybe if i was early enough i could bypass richie, maybe even the whole group of goons. i figured it was better to sit in first period for 15 minutes extra then risk being called forward by richie in front of my friends.

i closed my locker door and turned around, ready to sprint down the hallway to bio. instead, i run into a body who's hands caught my arms, preventing me from falling over.

it didn't hurt, but my papers and books fell from my arms and onto the floor. i heard a small laugh and looked up.

"fuck." i mumbled and pulled my arms away, bending down on one knee to pick up my stuff. i glanced up through the hair that had fallen over my face, my eyes threatening to fall out of my head from how hard i had rolled them. 

of course, richie would be here. why wouldn't he be? why is he here? when i don't want to see him most, he always seems to be in my presence. it pissed me off.

if i didn't know any better i would think he had some sort of gps connected to my body. i instantly pushed the creepy thought out of my head deciding i didn't need to lose any more sleep.

"are you okay?" he bent down in front of me and grabbed one of my papers that fell, placing it on the neat stack i was creating on my knee.

"fine." i mumbled, taking the paper from him and standing up. i glanced at him, rearranging my papers and books to how they were before i was almost knocked over.

"what are you doing here so early?" i questioned. he leaned against the locker beside mine and chuckled. "i could ask you the same thing." i didn't say anything and waited for him to continue.

he caught my silence and started talking, motioning down the hall. "i'm always here early. i go into the library and read. today was different though when i saw you skip down the hallways."

i quickly looked up at him and frowned angrily, my face turning a light red. "i didn't skip!" he smirked at my reaction, seeming to get what he came for.

it was the first time since he'd come over to me that i actually looked at him. he had round, skinny, glasses perched on his nose and his curls were shorter. i'm guessing they were reading glasses.

i tried to push away the fact that i noticed his hair was shorter out of my head. 

"since when do you read?" i also tried to push out of my head that we were having a normal, civil conversation when any other time we talk he had me cornered. 

he shrugged. "always. there's a lot you don't know about me, eddie spaghetti." my face started heating up again, this time for a different reason. i quickly looked down again, suddenly feeling exposed.

i wanted to tell him not to call me that, give him an attitude for it, but i couldn't seem to find the words. richie was different when he wasn't around his friends. he wasn't... as much of a brute. 

the silence continued and i wanted so bad to just walk past him and go to bio, but there was still fear in the back of my head that he was going to hurt me. he touched my wrist to get my attention and i pulled it back quickly like his touch burned my skin. he furrowed his eyebrows. "did something happen in the two days i didn't see you?" richie asked.

i laughed suddenly, unamused as i looked up at him. "no, richie. but that's exactly it. nothing's happened, but that's not how it's supposed to be. i can't go through the stress of you. first, you're cornering me and blowing cigarettes in my face and now you're having a normal conversation? are you going to beat me up? if you are can you just get it-"

"go on a date with me."

my words got stuck in my throat and my heart stopped beating. i stared at him for a moment before responding, taking a step closer to him. "are you crazy?" i whispered shouted, like someone in the empty hallways was going to hear us.

"we are complete opposites from two completely different friend groups, who are sworn enemies might i add," and, up until two days ago, my knees would go weak from fear at the thought of you richie tozier.

now those two days later he's still in my personal space, asking me on a date and telling me that he likes me in bathroom theaters. 

i shook my head. "mm-mm, richie. no way." he took a step towards me as well, the same teasing smile playing on his lips.

"so i'll pick you up at six?"

'

_eddie_   
  


i paced back and forth in my bedroom, my legs getting tired from the constant movement, but i couldn't seem to care. he wasn't actually coming at six, right? i looked over at the clock on my dresser. _5:45_. he probably doesn't even know where i live. i don't know why i'm so nervous.

but why am i nervous?

was i nervous because richie tozier possibly knows where my house is, and that might just be easy access to beat me up or of the disappointment i might feel if he actually doesn't show up.

i felt nauseous.

my mother had called me down for dinner earlier, but i told her i had a headache and wasn't hungry, which wasn't a complete lie. but in reality i wasn't hungry because my anxiety was through the fucking roof.

not knowing is so much worse than just knowing. good or bad.

i walked over to my window and peered out, looking onto the main road, looking for any sign of the annoyingly bright red car that might pull up beside my house.

another fifteen minutes went by and no sign. i sighed and left my window. the butterflies in my stomach had disappeared by now, the regret and disappointment began settling in.

i sat on my bed and pulled my homework out of my bookbag, setting my head on my hand.

i jumped when i heard a tap on a different window in my room, looking over at the one placed on the side of my house. glancing over, i didn't see anything, just a branch of a tree that was nearby swaying in the wind.

i looked away and after a few seconds heard it again, this time it was louder and more frantic.

"what the fuck."

i stood up and walked over, my hands shaking as i reached out to pull up the pane, my heart thumping loudly. when it was open i peaked my head out.

"eddie!"

i looked down when i heard my name, gasping softly to myself when i saw richie below, with a smile on his face. "richie! my mother will kill you if she sees you here!" i whispered loudly down to him. it wasn't very high up.

he shrugged. "are you coming or not?"

i shook my head. "i can't tell her i'm coming with you. she won't let me." he smiled a little. "so don't tell her. jump down i'll catch you."

i scoffed softly. "god, you really are crazy aren't you? just-" i glanced back at my door, waiting for a moment to see if my mom was upstairs. 

"just... stay there. i'll be down in second." i moved back and pulled my window back down.   
what was i doing? god, if only i saw into my future last week. 

i jogged down the steps and into the living room in front of my mother. "hey, i'm going to bill's for a little while. that okay?" i asked smoothly. i was proud of myself with how calm i sounded considering my chest felt like it was going to concave on itself. she looked up at me from the t.v. "you've been hanging out there a lot lately, you know."

i nodded my head, my body becoming antsy. "yeah, i know. i'm sorry. we have the same science class though, we were going to work on homework together."

she sighed by nodded anyway. "curfew's at 9:30, eddie!" she reminded as i bound toward the door. 

"see you later," i left before she could say anything else and moved my way to the side of the house, quietly calling out for richies name.

i felt a hand on my shoulder. i screamed, whipping around. "fuck, richie. could you maybe start announcing your presence? my heart's going to give out." he laughed a little, feening innocence. 

i followed him back to the front of my house, expecting to see his bright red car. "did you walk here?" i looked up at him and he shook his head.

"no, but i figured your mom wouldn't be happy if she happened to see my car outside of her house." i nodded my head agreeing.

"so where are we going? and, this isn't a date. i'm just simply curious." 

he didn't answer and instead led me up the street where his car was parked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i'm sorry it took so long to update. i don't really have an exuse besides i was being lazy. thank you to everyone reading, an supporting the story. as always, I appreciate all feedback. 
> 
> much love.


	7. six

_third **september 11, 1991**_

richie led eddie up the road to his car. eddie laughed to himself. the irony of the situation amusing him. the most "unnoticed" of bowers gang had the most noticeable car around. not even belch with his blue sports car compared to richies red bug. 

eddie stayed close behind richie, glancing at his surroundings. it wasn't that he didn't know where they were, he was just unfamiliar with it, always going down the path, never really having a reason to go up. 

eddie was silently thankful that richie did this so they didn't have to drive past his house again. 

he wasn't exactly sure what his mother would do if she saw him in richie's car. probably have an aneurism then never let him out of the house again. 

there was a comfortable silence around them, neither really sure what to say in fear of making it awkward, so they both stayed quiet, listening to the tree's rustle in the wind.

richie continued walking straight to the passenger side, opening eddies door for him. eddie smiled to himself, wanting so bad to fight the feelings of butterflies that fluttered in his stomach, but failed. he slid into the car and instantly adjusting the seat so he didn't slide off the leather fabric. 

he looked around, taking in the visuals that was richie toziers' car. it smelled of cigarettes and pine wood air fresheners.

he touched the hanging tree car freshener and laughed a little, figuring one of his parents bought it for him, not seeing richie buying himself a car freshener. 

but then again, he didn't think that richie read, ever, until earlier today. 

richie moved to the drivers' side, starting the engine smiling as it purred to life. it wasn't the nicest looking car eddie thought, but the more time he spent with richie, the more it felt like something he would own. 

they were driving for about two minutes before the silence began to bug eddie, so he decided to finally speak since his house "so where are we even going?" even though he already asked, he thought the second time might be the charm. 

he looked over at richie, who was already looking at him. 

this made eddie panic and instantly reach for his seat belt, mentally cursing at himself for not putting it on as soon as he got in. 

"eyes on the road!" eddie squealed making richie laugh a little but answer him this time, looking back to the road like eddie had demanded. "nowhere special. well, maybe to some people. special to me." 

eddie's heart matched the flutter of his stomach. special to him? what did that mean? and he was taking him there? eddie tried to shake the thought. he was the one who said this wasn't a date to begin with. because it wasn't. he wasn't sure what this was. 

the path they took was unfamiliar but not uncommon. tall trees were scattered everywhere, making the area quite dim.

eddie watched as what seemed like the same trees continued to pass them by, thoughts of everything flowing through his head.

he jumped when he felt a hand on his thigh, his head snapping over towards richie then to his leg where richies' warm hand lingered.

eddie blushed when he realized that richie pushed the edge of his shorts up to touch his skin. 

it was a short-lived touch before eddie frantically pushed richies' hand away. "what are you doing?" eddie asked, embarrassment laced in his voice. he could see richie smile before he moved his hand away to put it back on the steering wheel. 

"you looked cold." richie shrugged.

they were coming into town and eddie subconsciously scooted down further in his seat. "so then you give me a jacket, dipshit. you don't just don't touch me." eddie huffed softly. 

richie ignored his opinion and instead answered with, "we have to make a pit stop before our final destination." eddie nodded, still peering out of the window watching as the people whizzed by. richie pulled into a diner eddie heard of but never went to. 

"you like burgers right?" eddie laughed. "of course. who doesn't?" richie smiled again, taking in the sound of eddie's giggle, making a mental reminder to say something funny later just to hear the wonderful tune. "good, i'll be back."

eddie watched as he left the car, leaving him alone with his thoughts. this has to be some sort of glitch in the matrix eddie decided. richie tozier was buying him burgers and taking him to mystery locations. 

eddie chewed on his thumbnail nervously while he glanced out of the window. was he being too gullible?

just last week, the last week of summer, eddie and his friends were doing perfectly fine with each other's company, not stepping foot into town; taking in everything life had to offer when not being targeted 24/7. now? this is the first time he's thought about his friends in almost four hours because he's with one of the reasons they had grown so close. 

he jumped when the car door opened. richie got in with two white bags of food and two milkshake containers in his elbows. eddie grabbed the bags and set them in between his legs on the seat and grabbed one of the cups. 

"i got you a strawberry milkshake, i wasn't exactly sure what kind you would like." eddie smiled at richie, then looked down at his large cup, licking some of the whipped cream off of the lid. 

richie watched fondly as the edge of eddie's eyes formed the smallest and purest crinkles he'd ever seen, his eyes turning the color of freshly made peach tea while his freckles shined against the unforgiving sun. it was breathtaking and it amazed richie how he never noticed it before. 

eddie seemed to be used to it by now as he sipped on his milkshake, not paying attention. it was only when he glanced up that richie looked away and started the car again. it wasn't a long drive, maybe ten minutes which eddie was grateful for because the heat from the food was beginning to burn the inside of his legs. 

it was a bumpy ride up the side of the hill, which was quite the challenge for eddie as he was trying to keep two bags of food in place and keep any of his delicious milkshake from spilling. 

he recognized where they were. they were riding up to the cliff leading to the quarry. he wasn't disappointed, he was actually really interested in why this is where richie chose to take him. 

he winced as they road over thick rocks. richie so sure his car was going to make it, commenting how he's done this 'hundreds of times'. eddie just nodded in encouragement, peeking his head out of the window to watch the wheels of the beat-up car struggle. 

they finally parked, both getting out. richie opened the back seat and grabbed blankets as eddie stood there awkwardly, holding both cooling bags of food and richies melting milkshake.

he set them up as a little bed on the ground along with two sad-looking pillows and an old radio that was playing soft music. 

they sat down and eddie was thankful richie chose such thick blankets. he could barely feel the rocks beneath him. 

they opened the bags of now cold food and began eating, both not really caring how cold it was because of how hungry they both were. 

eddie shivered and richie quickly looked at him. "are you cold?" eddie nodded shyly, casting his eyes to his empty milkshake cup. "a little." richie shrugged off his jacket, placing it over eddie's shoulders.

richies scent instantly filled eddie's nosed and calmed his rapidly beating heart. eddie decided to be the one to break the silence again first. 

"so, why did you pick here."

richie seemed to think about it for a while before he answered. "well first," richie pointed out beyond the cliff at the setting sun. 

eddie looked at where richie's finger was pointing and gasped. "oh my god." he had never been at the quarry past sunset. actually, he had never really been outside anywhere after sunset unless he was with his mom. 

it was absolutely breathtaking to the younger one as he sat, mesmerized. the sun was so mildly bright he could see every single ray of light it had to offer. it looked so big from where they were, so close. "richie." he whispered out. 

"fucking awesome, right?" richie side-eyed eddie's face as he leaned back on his elbows, getting a much better view of something abundantly more breathtaking then a sunset he's seen a thousand times. richie decided in that moment even if he got to see eddie in this light a million times, it would never be enough. 

eddie laughed a little, shaking his head. "i don't even think awesome even begins to describe it." it was short-lived, but eddie loved every second of it, wishing that they had got there sooner. 

"wait till you see the stars." richie spoke up again.

"stars?" eddie felt giddy as he looked over his shoulder then back up at the darkening sky. richie smiled at the look on his face, drinking in every second of the feeling eddie gave him. 

"what, you've never seen stars before?" richie had laid back, pushing the garbage from their food off the blanket. eddie scoffed. "of course i have," eddie laid back too, placing his hand behind his head, keeping distance between the two of them. 

"but if that's what the sunset looks like, i can't even imagine how the stars look." richie watched him lay back, keep his stare on the side of his face. 

"why do you do that?" eddie glanced richies way, then back up at the sky above them. 

"what?"

"stare at me."

richie shrugged, looking away. "i don't know. because i guess when you leave i'll remember everything about you."

"leave?" 

"yeah." richie breathed out softly from his nose. 

richie didn't say anything more about it, so neither did eddie. 

when the stars began to rise, eddie couldn't help but feel giddy again. they were so bright and full and it looked like if eddie tried hard enough, he could reach out and touch one. 

"how did you know about this?" he looked over at richie, who was also looking up at the stars, a small smile on his face. he seemed hesitant to answer at first until he looked eddie's way. 

"my... mom, dad, and i would always come out here when i was a kid. we would sit up here for hours after the sun had set and just watch the stars. we stopped doing it a while ago. i still come up here all the time though, to read...think...be alone. you're the first person i've ever brought up here at night."

he looked at eddie when he said that, and eddie didn't stop from hiding the heat from rising on his cheeks as he smiled to himself.

it was silent for a while before richie spoke again, his voice softer than it had ever been. 

"you know i would never hurt you. right?" eddie looked over at richie. he answered honestly, shaking his head, "no... i don't know that." richie sighed softly, his forehead creasing. 

"those are all rumors ya' know... i never actually hurt anyone. followed them for a little 'fun', yes, to keep up pretenses but hurt them... no. if anything it's more of an excuse for me to get away from bowers."

eddie sat up to get a better look at richie, his eyebrows furrowed. "then why are you still friends with him?" richie let out a dry chuckle, his fingers running over the bags under his eyes. "i don't want to be. i guess i just don't know how to get out of it."

eddie laid back down. his mind racing over a mile a minute. eddie liked...no, loved this side of richie. he wasn't sure that anybody's ever seen this side of him. so vulnerable, so open. it felt like a whole new pair of eyes were setontop of his old ones making him see things differently. 

it didn't make sense, not really, but it was enough for eddie to see it had all been some kind of a facade and that he wasn't some scary outsider apart of bower group of tormentors, but just a normal, misunderstood teenager who somehow got sucked into the wrong crowd.

reaching his hand towards richie's he laced their fingers together. richie furrowed his eyebrows. "what's that for?" it was eddie's turn not to answer.

"thank you for tonight, richie." 

richie smiled to himself, looking back up at the beating hearts of the stars. 

"anytime, eddie spaghetti."

"don't call me that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really edit this chapter so if there's mistakes, soddy.
> 
> I really wanted to emphize the character development in this chapter so I hope you feel that. 
> 
> I hope you're all enjoying. thank you for all the feed back. much love.


	8. seven

_eddie **september 11/12, 1991**_

it was close to nine o'clock when richie dropped me off. he parked a little closer to my house this time, worried about me walking too far in the dark.

we sat in silence for a bit, both of us not knowing what to say. i honestly didn't want to go in yet, but i knew i had to eventually, my mom would start to worry.

i felt like there was something unspoken between us that needed to be said, but i wasn't exactly sure what it was, or which one of us needed to say it.

"thanks for coming with me tonight. it got me out of the house." richie admitted sheepishly.

i smiled, looking down at my lap, tugging richie's jacket closer around my body. "eh, you're not that bad of company tozier." richie laughed a little bit, nodding his head. "you too, kaspbrak,"

"so i'll see you at school tomorrow?" i looked over and him, taking that as my cue to go.

i nodded, unbuckling my seat belt. i didn't want to think about school tomorrow. tomorrow meant reality and who knows what reality means. i left his car and sped walked down the street, not slowing my pace until i saw the familiar porch lights illuminating half of the driveway. 

when i was out of sight, richies' car drove past me, faster than i would have thought he needed to go. i unlocked the door with the spare key that was hidden outside under a flower pot. i didn't think my mom would lock the door but then again, she probably wouldn't think i would forget my key.

when i walked inside, it was dark except for the t.v light that came from the living room. "eddie? is that you?"

"yeah, mom."

i walked into the kitchen and saw that my pills were on the counter with a glass of water beside them. i sighed softly. just recently i had to start taking night time pills.

i grabbed the pills off of the counter, shoving them into my jacket pocket while dumping the water into the sink, setting the cup back on the counter.

i tried to skip my way past the living room but with my luck, failed. "eddie?" she asked again, this time her voice more persistent. i knew it was her way of calling for me. 

in defeat, i walked into the living room and sat the couch, deciding it would look less suspicious than if i just stood there. she looked over at me and stared for a second.

"did you have fun?" she asked, her fingers flipping loudly through one of her many catalogs. i shrugged, playing the strings of richie's jacket, while watching whatever show she had playing.

"we studied. it was as fun as it could get, i guess." she nodded. staying quiet for a while.

"are you lying to me eddie?" i looked at her, my heart skipping a beat. "what? why would i be lying to you?" i asked trying to my voice a low octave. 

her forehead creased over with worry, "you didn't take your book and who's hoodie is that? you smell like cigarettes eddie. who were you with?" she pressed, her voice getting more frantic by the second. 

i choked out a laugh, hoping that my shaking hands weren't a dead give away as i shoved them into the jean jacket.

"bill, mom! it's his jacket. and we were just studying for a test so we used his textbook to make flashcards, so i didn't need mine." i clarified. 

"and the cigarette smell?" i mentally cursed at richie for smoking, wanting nothing more than to smack him for using those cancer sticks.

"mr. denbrough's been going through a rough patch since bill's mom left. he started smoking. i'm guessing it's because of the stress."

she sighed sadly. "oh, eddie. i just don't want you getting hurt. you're already not well. did you take your medicine?" she looked me in the eyes and i looked back at her, fiddling with the pills in my pocket.

"yeah. can i go to bed now? i'm tired." that was actually true.

she huffed hesitantly before letting me leave. 

i quickly got up and jogged up the steps and into my room, closing the bedroom door after me.

i plopped onto my bed, face first, snuggling into my pillow, burrowing further into richie's jacket, sleep taking over before i could think about anything else.

'

"were you okay yesterday?" i closed my locker and looked over at bill, tucking my books into my elbow. "yeah, why?" he shrugged, following beside me as we walked to bio.

"you d-didn't call me after school to make p-plans. i just wasn't sure." i shrugged my shoulders not making eye contact with him. "oh, yeah. i was fine. my mom was just acting weird yesterday so i just stayed up in my room."

i thanked god that he decided not to call the house. sometimes if i didn't call him first, he'll end up calling me. bill nodded as we sat down at our lab table, furrowing his eyebrows. "who's jacket is that?"

i flipped through my folder, trying to find last night's homework. "rich-" i bit down hard on my tongue, cursing at myself for being to loose-lipped. 

"uh, i- i just found it in the back of my closet. i'm probably not going to wear it very often. i don't really like it." i spoke quickly, shoving the words out of my mouth before my brain tricked my lips into saying something i didn't agree to. 

he looked at me suspiciously. bill could always tell when i was lying. i shoved my hands in the jacket pockets and looked to the front of the room.

"eddie-" he was cut off by the sound of our teachers' voice starting the class and i left out a sigh of relief.

i knew i was giving it back to richie, so i figured me making it known i wasn't going to wear very often might be a little more believable.

we didn't really talk, not even during our lab work. he wasn't mad me, that much i could tell, but he was in deep thought as if it to figure out what i was hiding.

i don't know why i was so nervous telling bill about hanging out with richie. not that i thought it meant anything, because i didn't really know what it was. i don't even know if i would consider it a friendship yet.

he was apart of the group the bullied us for years, even if he never really participated. knowing about it was suspect enough. especially in bill's eyes.

he didn't know richie like i was starting too. saying that i know richie would be stupid because i honestly know nothing about him. if bill just got to know him, i know we would all get along.

but bill is so hard-headed and stubborn. he wouldn't even think about thinking it over.

'

we all sat at our lunch table, everyone in their own conversations. beverly invited the new kid mike to sit at our table, everyone invested in their own conversations with him. i smiled and said my name when she introduced him. he seemed nice, but my mind was somewhere else.

this time it was my turn to stare holes into richies' face until he looked at me.

he eventually looked up from a piece of paper he was reading and locked eyes with me, a small smile creeping upon his face.

it was easy to assume it was because he 'caught' me staring first. 

my eyes lingered on his a little longer before i looked over at stanley, tapping his arm to get his attention. i found if i told stan that i was leaving, he was a lot less likely to just get up and come with or question me first.

"i'm going to the bathroom. i'll be back." he nodded asking me if i wanted him to come and i declined. he nodded, turning back to his conversation with the group. 

i made one final glance at richie before i stood up and walked into the hallway, my feet leading me to my locker. it wasn't long after i left, i heard footsteps approach m.

when i closed it, a smiling richie tozier looked me up and down. "just can't get enough of me can ya' kaspbrak?" i faint blush appeared on my cheeks as i rolled my eyes pushing the jacket i borrowed from him the night before into his arms.

"you wish tozier. thanks for that jacket last night but i'm tired of getting interrogated over it." he looked at me funny, taking the jacket. "interrogated?" i shrugged, picking my book bag from off the ground.

"i guess everyone i know notices more than i thought." he nodded, scruffing his shoes against the neatly waxed floors. "so are we on again for tonight?"

i almost choked on my spit, my eyes meeting his again before glancing around the vacant hallway. 

"what?" i barely wheezed before he continued. 

"or i mean, you could come to my house and we could watch a movie. my parents won't be home which never happens."

i felt faint. first late-night stare gazing, now a movie night? i huffed out a small sarcastic laugh as i stepped closer, hushing my words. 

"richie... if my mom finds out, hell if my friends- if your friends- find out that we hung out last night," i shook my head, a small chill running over my body as i thought about what would happen to me, "..who knows the next time derry'll see me."

he smiled and took a step closer, a daring smirk propped comfortably on his lips. 

"well, then i guess we can't tell them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you guys know, I also have this story posted on wattpad where it's a little more edited and you'll know when I update sooner. 
> 
> its under the name loser_reddie
> 
> much love.


	9. eight

_eddie **september 12, 1991**_   
  
  
  
  


i told richie not to pick me up at my house and instead give me his address and i would ride my bike there.

it was a lot less suspicious then just 'walking' and it's nearly impossible to miss richie's car, making me confident on finding his house. not a lot of people owned red volkswagons, especially in derry. 

i knew i was going over straight after school and most likely wouldn't be staying as long like i would at bill's. at school, i told bill there would be no reason to call today because i didn't feel well and probably wouldn't come to the phone anyway. 

i felt bad for lying to my best friend, but until i figured myself what was going on, it was better to not get anybody else involved. i was debating on even going home and just going straight to richie's but i knew my mom would freak.

i abonded my bike at the end of the driveway and walked inside, expecting to see my mom sitting in her chair. instead, there was a note on the table saying she would be out for a few hours with a reminder to take my medicine and that there were cooling cookies on the counter.

i took a cookie, shoving it into my mouth while sticking the medicine into my pocket. i ripped out a piece of paper from underneath the notebook she wrote on scribbling on the yellow paper that i was with my friends and would be back before sundown.

i left the house and did with the pills the same thing i did on the first day of school, wondering if i was hurting any wildlife with my constant disposal of pills. it wasn't hard to find richie's house even though it was on the other side of town.

i remembered being around this area when bill first learned to drive. it's a pretty secluded part of town that had little to no traffic, so it was actually pretty perfect for a new driver.

my feet peddled down the rocky street, my eyes lingering on some of the run-down houses. it was obvious no ones' lived in them for years, the bricks rotting and the paneling peeling away. i shivered and began peddling faster until richie's annoyingly bright red bug came into view. i bit my lip, slowing my tracks as i neared. 

what if this was just a big set up? what if i'm actually here to get my face beat in? "no," i mumbled to myself. richie promised that he wasn't going to hurt me and i wasn't going to get anywhere if i didn't start to trust him. 

i left my bike leaning on the side of the house and walked up the rest of the path leading to the front door. i only had to knock twice before richie opened the door.

he had a cigarette in his mouth, with a band t-shirt and plaid pj pants on. i laughed softly, his attire amusing me. he smiled and opened the door wider, taking the cigarette out his mouth and in-between his fingers.

"eddie spaghetti. glad to see you could find me." he stepped to the side to let me in.

"don't call me that." i mumbled, walking in.

"welcome to mi casa." richie smiled. i looked around. it was small but homey. really homey. there were scented candles that smelled of fall, a little fireplace, an old but comfy looking couch, a t.v bigger than ours in-front of the living room set, with a bit of space before it led into the kitchen area.

richie watched me take in my surroundings, my body warming to the feeling the quaint house gave me. "it's not much, but it's home." richie shrugged. i shook my head, picking up a fallen leaf from the flower hanging near the doorway. "it's perfect to me." i breathed, inhaling the smell comfort. 

richie smiled and led me into the living room where he set down his cigarette and picked up the movies he had already picked out, handing them to me. "here, you choose." i nodded, looking through them, deciding after a few minutes of shuffling through my fingers i wouldn't mind watching any of them.

"so, where are your parents?" i asked while sitting on the couch. he shrugged taking the last few drags of his cigarette before putting it out. "i don't know. a couple of towns over i think. a great aunt on my dad's side is sick so they're going over for a few days." 

i hummed softly as i took a closer look around as i mindlessly tossed the movie's in my hands. my eyebrows furrowing when i saw no family pictures. not even any of what i would assume to be the richie and his parent's if there was one up.

"oh, i'm sorry. were you guys close with her?" richie shook his head.

"no. we don't really talk to my family on his side."

i nodded and ended up telling him that i would watch any of them. he rolled his eyes when i finally admitted this and told me to close mine. "what? why?" i asked startled. 

"just trust me kaspbrak, geez," he spoke monotonously, though there were amused undertones. 

he grabbed the movies out of my hands and into his, crouching in front of me. "okay now reach forward and touch one." i closed my eyes and reached my fingers out to one of the covered vcr tapes, laying my hand flat over the one i picked. i peeked an eye open, my shoulders sagging when i realized it was a horror film. 

richie smirked harmlessly and stood from his crouching position with the tape in hand, taking to the vcr to rewind it. when he was finished, he lifted the blanket i was already snuggled under and made himself a home pressed against my side. 

he lit another cigarette and i watched as he took a small puff from the darkened end, letting the cloudy smoke float meaninglessly up in the air. my mind drifted to our first encounter together as i watched the smoke disappear and stick to the sixties' wallpaper. 

i shifted under the warmth, words scratching mercilessly against my throat as they tried to escape. i wanted nothing more than to just ask what the fuck was happening. i breathed in the smoke and apple cinnamon candle, hoping it would put my racing mind at ease. 

i bit down hard on my tongue, doing everything i could so the words didn't escape. it's not that i didn't have a right to know because i had every right in the world, but i didn't want to ruin what wasn't happening. 

startling me from my staring, he glanced down at me only to look right back at the screen. 

"the movie's on the screen, kaspbrak." my cheeks flushed as i looked away, casting my eyes back to the movie. 

"do you remember the day you pinned me against the lockers?" i'm a complete dunce. he seemed surprised by my sudden question as he looked at me, not answering right away. "uh...yeah, unfortunately. why?"

i shrugged and looked down. releasing my tongue from its personal hell was not the way to go. "what was that about? i mean why did you do it? you did it at the party too... why?" he was quiet before he caved in on himself sighing.

he turned toward me, setting a cautious hand on my knee. "i'm sorry, eddie. i wished that never would have happened. i regret everything i did to scare you." i looked at him, fumbling with the frayed ends of the blanket. "why did you? like... you didn't do it all the time. the bathroom, but even then you weren't aggressive like you were at the party or school."

he looked away like he was ashamed as i sat patiently waiting for him to answer. "_they_ told me to. more like forced me to." he stayed quiet and even though i was technically the victim, i couldn't help but feel bad as i placed an encouraging hand on his arm.

"at least one of them was there to watch when both events happened. on the first day of school when i had mentioned you, they instantly made you my next target. god, i was so stupid for even mumbling your name. i just... i just did what i was told because that's what i've always done." he shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed. he looked frustrated with himself.

i wasn't sure how to feel when he told me this. i looked away and back at my lap.

so he really didn't want to hurt me, but because he didn't think of me any differently then, he just did what they told him to. why did he all of a sudden see my differently now?

"but, i told you, i would never hurt you-" i cut him off, my forehead creased. "why do you treat me differently now?" he smiled, noticeably pushing the grim feelings away as he took a puff from his cigarette, moving some of the looser waves away from his face.

"i like you, eds."

it shouldn't have affected me, i know that it shouldn't of. i shouldn't have watched as his lips curved perfectly over his teeth when he smiled or how soft the pads of his fingers were against my forehead but i did. i noticed it, and the feeling of butterflies consumed me. i smiled back bashfully, pulling my attention back to the movie. 

richie got up to rewind the movie when it ended, claiming he hated when his dad watched a movie and never rewound it. i smiled when he talked but the moment was short-lived when my stomach growled loudly. he laughed, looking back at me. "are you hungy?" i felt my face heat up as i nodded. "good. me too." he stood up and extended his hand for me to grab.

i took it and he led me into the kitchen where i boosted myself onto the counter, using the wooden drawers below that whined under my weight. i watched him pull out basic ingredients from the fridge and my curiosity got the better of me. "what are you making?" 

richie smiled as he pulled out a pan. "richie tozier's ooey gooey gilled cheese." i laughed, though my mouth watered at the thought. "is that a promise to make it ooey gooey?" he nodded, taking apart the ingredients to make the sandwiches. "absolutely,"

it seemed we always had something to chatter about, whether it be his favorite music or books, or what i planned on doing after high school. as he continued to talk, i found out how easy it was to get lost in the sound of richie tozier's voice, his words like an angelic vibrato to my ears. 

"can you read to me someday?" he looked at me as he flipped a sandwich. "what?" he asked slightly amused. i shrugged as i watched him, my legs swinging mindlessly back and forth. "i don't know. just read me one of your books. your favorite one."

he shrugged, placing both sandwiches on separate plates. "sure, i don't see why not." the thought excited me as i gratefully took one fo the plate, sliding off the counter to sit at the table. 

i looked down at my sandwich that was burnt a little on the one side but was indeed ooey gooey. "wow, rich. i wasn't sure you were going to live up to the name." he smiled, pleased. "did you think i was lying to you?"

i shook my head. "no. i'm just happy you didn't burn both sides."

he laughed, dusting some the bread crumbs off of my cheek as he sat down next to me.

"that's not the only name i live up to."

"shut up, richie." 


	10. nine

_eddie_

_ _

_ **september 12, 1991 (night)** _

  
  


"are you sure i can't convince you to stay? or at least let me drive you home?" i looked back at richie as he leaned against his door frame, sleepy eyes covered in the same thin-framed glasses he had on the other day.

i smiled, shaking my head, rubbing my eyes as well before pulling my bike off of the ground. "no, richie. my mom is probably already freaking because i told her i would be home before the street lights came on. now, it's almost past my curfew." i sighed softly, mounting my bike.

"i wouldn't be surprised if she has a search team out looking for me." i mumbled, gripping the straps of my bookbag tighter. 

earlier, after we got done eating we decided to watch another movie. richie claimed it was a good heartwarmer but it ended up being some old love story that both of us fell asleep to.

i woke up with my head on richie's chest. it didn't freak me out, but it did startle me to how i got there from the other end of the couch. my movements of pushing his arms off of my waist woke him up too.

richie snorted softly, standing up straighter when i began riding away, yelling a final farewell down the solemn street. "see you tomorrow, kaspbrak!"

i smiled, squinting my eyes at the cold wind as it pierced my retinas, rendering them dry. i glanced over my shoulder, my legs working harder to get down the street. "you wish, tozier!"

i heard him say something back but i was already too far away to catch the words before the sound of his front door closing echoed through his quiet neighborhood. 

the ride to my house was oddly silent. it felt like after nine o'clock the whole town of derry just went to sleep and the only things awake were the sewer rats and dim street lights.

i peddled faster, ignoring all the ghostly whispers in the wind and the nagging thoughts from my imagination. getting closer to my house, i could see the brightly lit driveway. abandoning my bike at the very bottom of the path, i looked at my house, noticing that all the lights inside were on too. 

i internally groaned, rubbing underneath my eyes with force. when i opened the door, i was instantly attacked and bombarded with questions "edward kaspbrak! where were you? you had me worried sick!"

i sighed, closing the door behind me, looking up at her, cursing to myself when i saw she was blocking the only escape route to my bedroom. "well?" she demanded.

"bill's mom! i left a note on the table. i know i'm later than i said, but bill doesn't live that far." i defended softly, my voice becoming quieter when she began glaring at me, her eyes becoming cold. 

"why are you lying to me eddie? i called zach denbrough, he said you were never there today. so where were you eddie? the same place you were yesterday? is that why you smell like cigarettes again?" 

my heart stopped. shit. i didn't think she would call them. why wouldn't she call them? of course she would eventually call or bill would call me. how long did i think i could keep this up?

i didn't meet her eyes as i thought about what to tell her. what could i tell her? neither the truth or another lie would settle the punishment i was going to get.

she sighed in defeat, her voice becoming sad. "oh, eddie. what happened to us? we used to be so close. now you're sneaking off doing god knows what and breaking curfew, i just... i just want my little boy back." she spoke aspirated, small tears welling up in her eyes. 

i wanted to argue back when i looked at her, ready to tell her that it was exactly my curfew and if she was going to be dramatic, be dramatic with the truth but i started feeling a little guilty when i looked at her face, though not guilty enough to tell her who i was actually with.

when i didn't say anything back, she huffed. "fine. you won't tell me? no friends at all. for a week. school and straight home."

"what? mom!"

"that's it, eddie! bed!" she pointed her finger down the hallway to the staircase. this time it was my turn to sigh in defeat. she moved aside to let me go but not before shoving a pill bottle to my chest. 

' **_september 13, 1991 _**

"are you avoiding me?"

i looked up from my lab sheet to face bill, furrowing my eyebrows.

"no, why?"

he sighed, setting down his pencil, turning to face me completely. 

"first, on t-t-tuesday, you don't call me after school. which is fine, i get that your mom isn't always the e-easiest to deal with. but t-then you come to school with a jacket that smells like c-cigarettes. you don't smoke cigarettes and b-bev quit months ago," the more he talked the more convinced he was becoming with his words.

"and t-then you say you aren't going to w-wear it anymore, even though you just fuh-found it. then yesterday, you tell me you're sick, and n-not to call you after school, but we get a call from y-your mom asking if you're at my house because that's w-where _you_, said you were."

he seemed out of breath, his face red from talking so fast. i blinked, unsure of how to respond.

"bill, i-"

"just tell me what's going on eddie. what aren't you telling me that's so bad?"

his eyes were pleading, hurt, making it harder to lie to him then to the cold, hard stare of my mom.

it seemed two different sides of my brain were having an internal battle with each other. one part of me wanting so desperately just to tell him and the other part of me knew that it was just way too soon to tell anybody anything.

"i was hanging out with richie tozier." he looked taken aback. my face burned with the realization of my confession, instantly regretting my loose tongue for never being caught up with my brain.

he sat still for a moment, confusion crossing over his features. "wait- h-hanging out with him? what d-does that even mean? s-since when?"

i sighed softly, shrugging my shoulders, wanting nothing more than to sink into myself.

"i don't even know, bill. but he's not who everyone thinks he is-" bill scoffed, cutting me off instantly. "what are you talking about e-eddie? him, b-bowers and everyone else tormented us for years! you're just too g-gullible to see people for who t-hey actually are."

i shook my head, "if you were to just give him a chance-" he slammed his pencil down, getting the attention the substitute teacher we had. she gave us a quick 'shush'.

"a chance e-eddie? are you insane? a chance to what? b-beat our ass? only s-someone so stupid and naïve would trust someone like richie tozier." he spat the name with disgust, his whisper yelling alighting fire on my skin with each flicker of hatred from the words that flew off of his tongue.

i stopped talking and turned back toward the front of the classroom, turning my attention to my paper. after a few minutes of silence, i heard him sigh, his hand touching my arm.

"i'm sorry eddie. i-i didn't mean it like that." i moved my arm out from under his touch like it burned when his fingers brushed my skin.

when the bell rang and i collected my things, not waiting for him like i normally would and instead headed straight for second period. 

i knew he was close behind me, so i decided against stopping at my locker, knowing that if i did, he would just try to convince me that i was wrong and that he was sorry. 

"eddie! please, i am sorry." i shook my head, ignoring the pleas, and instead continued weaving through the sea of kids that couldn't bother being in class on time.

his longer legs easily caught up to mine and he grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back against his chest. "just listen to me," he started. i abruptly turned around, shoving his hand off of my shoulder, giving the same spitfire he gave to me in class.

"i don't need one more person telling me how to live my life, bill." he tried grabbing my arm and i moved away, glaring harshly. "maybe being gullible and stupid is listening to you all the time."

he gave me the same pleading and hurt look like he did in class, his dark eyebrows seeming to fall over his eyes.

"if you can't accept that you're not my only friend," i inhaled a sharp breath, my chest caving in on itself as the words left my mouth, but i forced them out anyway, "then maybe we aren't friends at all."

'

"kaspbrak!" i groaned softly, moving faster down the school steps, hoping oh-so-desperately to reach my bike before richie tozier's grasp, but my short legs failed me once again.

i felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my place. it wasn't as rough and demanding as bill's was this morning. i huffed, turning around, not looking up any more than i had to through my eyelashes.

"i missed you at lunch today. it was disappointing that we didn't have our normal rendezvous." i could hear the smirk that radiated off of that sentence, but i looked away before i could watch his face.

i shrugged and in the process, removed his hand from off of my burning body. the place on my shoulder instantly going cold when his hand fell off. truth is, no one saw me at lunch today as i spent it in the boys' bathroom.

it was quiet between us, and i could tell he was getting antsy. "are you okay?" he seemed concerned but i couldn't actually tell if he was.

i nodded, finally meeting his eyes, my heart for some reason feeling guilty.

he seemed unconvinced, but continued anyway. "my parents are still out of town if you wanted to come over, we could have my famous ooey gooey grilled cheeses again?"

he seemed uncertain as he asked, almost shielded, like he was expecting me to turn him down.

_oh,_ this is where the guilt was coming from.

"i-i can't richie. i'm grounded," his face fell but quickly was replaced with confusion. "grounded?" he looked down, the sound of his old black converse scuffing the ground as he talked. "it's because of me isn't it?"

"it's not because of you, my mother's..." i thought about how i should word it, "overbearing, when it comes to me. it was my fault. i shouldn't have lied to her."

he nodded, though he didn't look like he understood. "where did you say you were?"

when he looked back up, the hot chocolate pools of warmth pierced into my soul, my knees quivering from the intense stare. there was no way i could lie to him. i looked away, my cheeks warming.

"bills." i mumbled out.

his face became expressionless, the facade that exiled the world around him and left his face a mask. i bit my lip nervously, my hands mindlessly picking at the fabric on my book cover. the same clouded feeling of something needing to be said loomed over us.

but then again, maybe over everyone. a dark cloud overshadowed over us, a loud crackle of thunder booming over derry. i jumped as richie glanced up at the dark waves that moved quickly.

he looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eye, the previous disguise removed quicker than i had ever seen it. 

"what time do you have to be home exactly?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving to anyone that celebrates it. thank you for all of the love and support.


	11. ten

_third_

_ _

_ **september 13, 1991** _

eddie looked down beneath him, his feet grazing the tip of cliffs edge as he stared down into the quarry. he looked back at richie like he was insane. "you want me to jump down there?"

richie shrugged, then nodded. "it's a total rush. especially when it rains." eddie rubbed the side of his arm, every reason on why this was wrong rushing through his brain at once.

he looked up at the grey clouds. the thunder seemed farther away, but still loud. it really did just loom over the town. "and what if it starts lightning? i'm not getting electrocuted." eddie stated.

richie grabbed eddie's hand, his mahogany hues burning holes into eddie's heart as he made a pouty face with his lips. "c'monnnn. i promised already i wouldn't do this if it would hurt you didn't i?" eddie still seemed reluctant as he looked away from richie's compelling eyes.

richie sighed, rolling his eyes as he thought of a compromise. "alright, if it starts to lightning, even thunder near us, we get out right away." eddie furrowed his eyebrows in worry before looking back down at the still water, praying that it was gentle on his oncoming death. he looked back at richie and nodded before glancing at his wristwatch.

eddie's eyes still held their reluctant stare, but he gave in anyway. "let's go now. if i'm any more than an hour late, my mom will know i didn't come straight home."

richie grinned, taking long, excited strides to his car. eddie followed richie to the car, watching as he opened the back seat, expecting to be greeted with a swimsuit. instead, a musty smelling towel was thrown at his face. 

he looked at the taller boy confused, setting the towel on the ground. "how are we supposed to swim without swim trunks?"

richie smirked, stepping closer, slipping his finger past the waistband of eddie's jeans, pulling enough to make eddie stumble forward, the same knowing glint in his eye from earlier. "in our undies, ed's."

eddie's face heated up as he batted richie's hand away, a small embarrassed glare that eddie hoped burned a hole in richie's heavenly structured face. "well turn around then." richie huffed but did what he was told, undressing faster than eddie.

before richie could turn around and watch, eddie made a break for behind the car, waiting for richie to turn back around before he finished undressing. richie turned, a smile on his face. it quickly faded when he noticed eddie's absence. "eddie?" 

"can you throw me the towel?" eddie asked after neatly folding up his clothes. richie looked down at the towel on the ground and picked it up, shaking it off before tossing it on the hood the car. 

"it's four feet away ed's. i won't look, i swear." richie spoke unconvincingly. eddie crossed his arms self consciously over his chest and came from behind the car making his way past richie in a fast-paced manner.

richie kept his eyes casted away, trying his hardest not to stare, though the smaller boy wasn't making it easy.

richie walked beside eddie, the more nervous of the two staring down at the impending fall. richie's chest filled with fondness at the worry wrinkles that formed on his forehead and how his bottom lip was getting firmly abused between his teeth.

richie all of a sudden felt a rush of jealousy course through his veins. he knew it was stupid to feel this way, but he couldn't help but be jealous of eddie's teeth as he watched them plant themselves on the plush pillows that richie could only dream of feeling one day. 

he was broken out of his trance when eddie shoved his side, the narrow elbow digging into his skin. "are we jumping or not?" he tried to sound agitated, but the only emotion that came from the sentence was nervousness. richie nodded and took upon himself to grab eddie's hand, though there was no complaint from the latter.

in a rush of a moment, and a tug of eddie's hand, richie's feet leaped off of the edge and they began freefalling. he didn't realize nor did he exactly know who let go of who's hand, but at some point in the fall, their hands got separated.

richie closed his eyes, letting the wind blow his skin and hair upwards as gravity took a hold of him. he reached out in front of his body, hoping to feel something, anything but the only thing he felt was the cold air that nipped at his exposed skin. the cold blanket wrapped around his skin, making him feel the comfort of the fall. 

his heart was beating out of his chest but it added to the adrenaline, his toes seizing up at the thought of the crash below. richie vaguely remembered the person beside him as the shrill screams got louder and were suddenly muted when they hit the water underneath them. 

as they reached the water, panic came over richie's body and he instantly rose to the surface, not savoring the normal burning feeling and blurry surroundings when he splashed into the lake.

"eddie? eddie!" he whipped his head around, looking for any sign of the small boy he had grown so many feelings for the past couple weeks. he began paddling through the water, his body going in shock with how scared he was until he heard a petite cough from behind him.

he whipped around and saw eddie leaning over a rock, gasping for air. he moved through the water faster than someone in normal condition could. 

"oh my god, eddie." he reached the rock and pulled eddie to his chest, hoping that his own anxiety attack wouldn't take a tool on the fragile boy below him.

all of a sudden he heard a giggle which both shocked and amused him at the same time. he pulled away, keeping the smaller boy steady on the rock beneath them. "are you okay?"

eddie meet his eyes, excitement filling the honeysuckle hues as he continued to laugh. "that was so fucking awesome, i've never had that kind of a rush in my life."richie couldn't help but start laughing too. he brushed some of the wet hair out of eddie's face before pulling him back in the water with him.

it turned out the eddie wasn't the best swimmer in the world, though richie could only imagine why. it seemed he didn't have much of a childhood and was shielded from a ton thanks to his mother, though richie seemed determined to break that cycle.

as they swam the water became a little more rough, making eddie climb onto richie's back as the raven-haired boy walked through the water instead. when they came across a waterfall, eddie gasped, falling off of richie's back to get his own personal view.

"oh my god. is that what you wanted to show me?"

richie nodded and looked up at the sky, the grey could getting darker as they seemed to be making their way towards the quarry.

"yeah, and we have to go now before it starts to thunder." eddie looked over at richie confused before he glanced up the sky, the same nervousness from before returning.

richie led eddie toward the waterfall, "what are we doing here?" eddie questioned.

"do you trust me?" richie asked. eddie nodded without having to think about it. "then go through the waterfall." eddie quickly looked at richie but all he got was a nod of encouragement. eddie huffed and held his breath before he began pushing his way through the harsh waters coming off of the cliff about them.

it didn't take long before it was only small splashes of water were hitting eddie in the head and the rest of his body was free and back in the air. richie appeared beside him from under the water, swimming underneath the pounding water droplets. 

eddie looked around the small little cave that was created behind the thick waterfall that swooshed loudly from behind them. he was impressed, but confused. it wasn't until richie turned eddie around that he understood why richie loved this place too. from the outside, you couldn't see anything 'inside' of the waterfall, but once you were in it, you could see everything clear as day, almost as if it was glass.

eddie smiled brightly, his cheeks hurting from how wide his mouth was spread. he didn't care. his body didn't even register the pain as his heart began racing, overtaking his senses. it was going so fast, he was nervous richie would be able to hear it. 

he looked up at richie, completely and utterly content. any worry that nagged in the back of his disintegrated and left with the flow of the water, taking it in its stream with heavy and loud stride. as he stood there staring, he began to understand why richie did it so often. everything just melted away and the only thing that mattered was the way his body felt complete.

richie looked over at eddie, his eyebrows furrowing as he moved a wet piece of hair out of his eyes. before eddie could think over his decision properly, he reached his arms around richie's neck and pulled him down to his level, pressing their lips together in a rushed and wet kiss.

shocked, richie stood there, stiff and confused, though it didn't take long for his brain to catch up with his body as he melted into the kiss, wrapping cautious arms around eddie's waist, cold fingers tracing the goosebumps that were prominent on the tan skin.

he could tell that eddie was severely inexperienced, but that made the kiss to him all the more special. _he_ was eddie's first kiss.

it was an innocent enough closed-lipped kiss that eddie pulled away from far too quickly for richie's liking. afriad to over-step any boundaries he pulled away his arms and smiled blissfully, taking back any hard feelings he had for eddie's teeth twent minutes ago. 

time seemed to move in slow motion as he watched the honey golden irises blink, eyelashes fluttering from the water that made it's way into his eyes. in that moment in time, all richie could feel was love, something he never thought he would feel.

richie was afraid to ask in fear of ruining what they had right now but decided it would slowly drive him crazy if he didn't find out what he did to deserve this.

"what was that for?"

eddie looked down in what richie thought was embarrassment, but he quickly looked back up, his eyes sparkling with a newfound interest as he looked at richie's lips once more before answering.

"it's a lame answer, but i don't know. it just felt right. _you_ feel right."

it really was a simple answer, but it was an answer that kept richie on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

'

eddie walked into his front door, 30 minutes later than he wanted to be. he knew the consequences of not listening to his mother but he couldn't help but not feel any sort of regret. 

he was surprised to see that when he opened the door, he wasn't instantly cornered, but he knew it wouldn't be long before he was interrogated.

eddie shut the door with a small thud and stood there for a second waiting for any sign of movement from his oddly overbearing mom. he knew she was home. her car was still in their driveway.

he set his now wet backpack on the ground, ready to face her with the lie he already had cooked up in his head.

there was a small part of him that thought maybe she was asleep and that he could go straight up to his room, but that was of course not that case because as soon as he stepped into the view of the living room's opening, he heard his mom call out his name.

"eddie? that you?"

eddie walked into the living room, beginning his concoction for the lie he was about to spew. he began fake shivering and wrapping his hands around his body, ready to weep fake tears as soon as she started talking.

"eddie? what's wrong? where were you?" she was quick to move off of her place on the recliner to inspect him. he looked up at her through his wet eyelashes, trying to push out tears.

"i-i-i'm sorry i didn't come home right away, momma," he used the mother pet name he hadn't used in years.

"i-i was confused on my science homework, and i know that i'm grounded so i can't go to bill's to work on it, so i went to my teacher to help me with it, and when i-i went to leave the school, it was pouring down rain, so i just stayed there until i-i thought maybe it would let up,"

he took in a deep shaky breath, hoping that it added to the intensity of his act. "b-but it didn't and i didn't have any money to call you to come pick me up so i just rode my bike home anyway." he sniffed and buried his head into her chest, letting her embrace him like she did when he was little.

in actuality, the only reason eddie was wet was because he had to walk down his street again because richie didn't park in front of his house and by the time he and richie left the quarry, it was pouring down rain.

"oh, my poor baby!" she let out a small weep for the boy, feeling the same innocence for him like she did when he was twelve. "go up to your room and i'll bring you tea and cold and flu medicine before you get a cold."

she didn't seem mad at him, although there was a hint of annoyance laced behind her kind words. eddie nodded and on his way up to his room, grabbed his bookbag, knowing that he did actually have science homework that he'd probably spend the rest of the night working on.

a few hours had passed and the cold and flu medicine his mother gave him began to make him feel drowsy. he had actually taken this medicine because it was fairly cold when he and richie went swimming and in the back of his head, was actually nervous about getting something from it.

though he had worked out most of his hypochondria with the help of the other losers, sometimes he couldn't help but listen to that persistent voice in the back of his head that led him to scary thoughts that if he didn't do something, he would get severely ill.

when his head finally hit his pillow, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. his slumber didn't last long as around eleven o'clock, he heard a tapping sound coming from his window that led to the side of the house.

he looked at the digital clock beside him and groaned in annoyance, hoping whatever it was, stopped. but it didn't. mostly out of aggravation and part curiosity, he pulled himself out of bed and opened his window enough to peer out over.

"richie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this sorta richie centered pov, even though it was in third. 
> 
> thank you sm for all the wonderful feedback! much love.


	12. eleven

_third_

_ _

_ **september 13/14, 1991** _

  
  


"richie?"

eddie looked out over his window and saw the familiar mop of raven-colored curls he had become so accustomed to loving. richie smiled up at eddie, his glasses sparkling against the harsh moonlight. he was in his pj's eddie noticed.

"what are you doing here? do you know what time it is?" eddie wanted to sound irritated, but he couldn't help the smile that formed on his face that matched the contagious vibe coming from richie.

"i couldn't stop thinking about you," eddie's heart skipped a beat. "so help me up there."

eddie's eyebrows furrowed on how he was going to help richie up to his second-story window but realized that after richie hopped onto the ledge on the side of the house, he wanted just help into it.

eddie reached his arm down as far as he could, but richie's long arm had more than enough space to reach eddie's. he hoisted himself onto eddie's window seal then slid into the room with ease.

eddie breathed a sigh of relief but was also shocked with how quiet richie was with his movements even though he hadn't completely grew into his limbs yet.

"wow. you do this a lot tozier?"

as richie looked around eddie's room, he smirked. "why? jealous if i do?" the smaller boy stalked quietly over to his door and turned the lock, hoping that his mother fell asleep in the living room like most nights with the t.v on.

eddie scoffed. "you wish."

eddie laughed to himself a bit, noticing the pattern in how they spend their time together.

when eddie turned around, he saw richie looking at some of the photos eddie had taped to the wall. "what are you doing here rich?" eddie asked as he walked back over to his window, shivering before closing and locking the seal.

he closed his curtains and looked back at richie who was still looking through the photos. some of them were of eddie and his friends, and other ones were just of his friends. richie tried not to let it bother him.

"i told you," richie looked over his shoulder at eddie, "i couldn't stop thinking about you."

richie walked back toward eddie, a small smirk gracing his face as his eyes scanned over the shorter boy. "cute pajamas."

eddie's face burned as he looked down at his animated star wars pjs pants and white shirt. eddie has had the pj set since he was maybe ten or eleven, but the shirt no longer fit, so he decided to keep the pants and just wear an old shirt.

"and," richie circled his way around eddie, stopping behind him, making the shorter boy slightly nervous. "i wanted to finish what we started earlier." this made eddie spin around and before he could spit out any words of defiance, a pair of soft lips were against his.

he stood there much like richie did earlier that day before slowly kissing back.

to keep eddie from moving away too soon, richie cupped his hand against eddie's still slightly pudgy cheek, moving his thumb lovingly up and down the forming cheekbones.

it was eddie who made the first move to deepen the kiss, but richie couldn't tell if he was opening his mouth to speak or to go further. richie took it as the latter and slipped his tongue past eddie's open lips.

eddie made a squeaking noise, obviously not expecting richie to invade his mouth. he was instantly met with a winter breeze taste, which was the only way he could describe it in that moment. the scent of it weeks ago before any of this started, intoxicated eddie with just the smell, and now here he is, tasting it. it made his knees go weak.

when he got that first taste, he pulled away, panting from lack of oxygen. he didn't look at richie yet, not wanting to face him while his cheeks were still a fiery pink color. he felt light-headed, so he sat on his bad, taking the back of his hand against his mouth.

richie sat down next to him, watching the side of his face, waiting for any sign of regret of discomfort. the only thing eddie did was smile. richie wasn't sure what to say, the same fear of ruining what they had returned.

"stay the night." richie looked over at eddie, shocked. he studied the smaller boy's face then his eyes, trying to find the truthfulness that was hopefully laced behind the words. eddie just gave him a soft smile, tucking a piece of dark hair that fell in front of his glasses.

they both squeezed onto eddie's twin-sized bed, richie surprisingly being the little spoon. neither of them minded the uncomfortableness from the situation as eddie's arms struggled to stay in place over richie's body.

in the morning, their positions seemed to change as now eddie was being held down by richie's arm. eddie looked over at his digital clock that read _6:00_. he reached over, switching off the alarm button.

they didn't have to be up for another half an hour and he planned to spend that time awake, listening to the small puffs of air that was blowing against his ear.

he smiled, taking in the warmth richie radiated, keeping both of them toasty as the cooler months were falling upon them.

eddie's house always had a chill to it, though he never really knew why. he would always have a heater in his room during winter, but his wooden floorboards never seemed to warm up, always keeping his feet freezing.

eddie traced the surprisingly soft knuckles of richie's hand, smiling at his locked wooden door.

as they laid there, basking in the warmth of each other, mostly eddie being the one to savor it because he was awake, he didn't actually think it was real. as he traced the faint scars that littered over richie's hand, he began to think about a different time when he would lay awake in his bed for a whole different reason.

eddie wasn't sure that he or any of his friends knew what love was, but something he was sure about was the way he felt in this moment. he could die like this and it would be the best thing in the world.

he thought about how if he would express this thought to any of his friends they would all put it off and excuse it as puppy love; especially if they were to find out it was richie tozier he felt this way about.

eddie couldn't help but let his mind drift to the last time he was being held like this and that it was bill who was holding him. he felt a sense of guilt wash through him. closing his eyes, he forced his mind to forget about the tugging on his heart, and instead focused on the rhythmic breathing coming from richie.

he didn't realize how much time had past until he heard fairly heavy steps make their way down the hallway toward eddie's door. he didn't fall asleep, he just simply kept the promise to himself to savor every moment he had with richie. his eyes flew open as he looked at his digital clock, the bright red numbers reading _6:32._

it wasn't often his mother came to wake him but to no avail, this would be one of the days. he looked up at his ceiling in annoyance. he wasn't very religious but he wanted someone to blame for the cruel jokes he was being handed.

the doorknob jiggled which sent a spike of fear through eddie's spine.

no one ever stayed the night at the kaspbrak house. not even the other losers as eddie's mom wasn't okay with it. although she couldn't do much to prevent eddie when he wasn't home, every chance she got when he was home she took.

"eddie? why is the door locked?" eddie sat up, tugging richie's arm with him. "ow - what the hell-" eddie slapped his hand over richie mouth as he stared down at him with wide eyes, almost as if they were saying 'if you speak, we're both dead'.

richie stared back at him, and before he got the chance to even whisper anything out, eddie was shoving him off the side of the bed nearest to the window. he landed with a small 'thud' which made the movements from the over-bearing mother outside even more frantic.

richie winced quietly.

"eddie? eddie kaspbrak! open this door right now!" eddie peered over the side of the bed and gave richie a sympathetic look before mouthing the words_ "i'm sorry. stay hidden."_

he moved off his bed and to his door, flicking the lock. as soon as he did, the door flew open, hard enough that it hit the wall beside it. "why was the door locked?" sonia gave eddie a suspicious glare.

eddie instantly went into innocence mode, trying to match of his performance like the night before.

"i-i'm sorry mom, i normally always do to get dressed. i got up earlier this morning, so i just decided to get dressed now." sonia walked further into the bedroom, almost as if to inspect anything out of the ordinary.

she turned back toward eddie and pressed her chubby fingers against his forehead. "do you feel okay? should i stay home today?" eddie instantly shook his head. "no! i-i mean, no i'm feeling fine. i just had a headache last night. the medicine really helped."

she smiled a little, taking the old tea cup from off of his nightstand. "don't forget your pills. i'll see you after school. straight home." she reminded before leaving his bedroom, closing his door behind her.

eddie left out a breath of air that he didn't realize he was holding, waiting to move until her heavy footsteps could no longer be heard.

richie must of heard the same, because when eddie turned around, he saw richie peaking up over his head. "is she gone?" he whispered. eddie giggled a little, nodding his head, sitting back on his bed.

"yeah. she has work at seven so she almost always leaves around this time." richie pulled himself off the floor and back onto the bed, a dreamy smile lingering on his lips. eddie furrowed his eyebrows as he watched his face, suddenly becoming self-conscious.

"what?"

richie shrugged, tucking a piece of wavy hair that was falling onto eddie's face behind his ear. "feels a little surreal, doesn't it?" eddie shrugged, feigning indifference although his words said otherwise. "you're going to be the death of me, richie tozier." his words were filled with nothing but fondness for the boy in front of him.

'

eddie stepped out of the bright red car that was parked in one of the schools' parking spaces. he glanced around, nervousness filling his stomach with butterflies as he tucked his book further into his elbows.

he was only pulled out of his trance when richie came up beside him, wrapping a long arm over his shoulders.

"you okay?" eddie looked up at the taller of the two, worry evident on his face. "uh," eddie looked around, already feeling the eyes of the other students arriving, on them. "are you sure we should be doing this? i- i mean... people are going to start spreading rumors."

richie smirked and walked in front of eddie, blocking the view of everyone around them. "well it's not like what would be said wouldn't be true, right?" eddie looked away, his hands becoming sweaty. he actually didn't know if it would be true or not. they never talked about their dating status.

richie sighed, letting up on the cocky persona as he reached for eddie's hand. "you remember everything we talked about?"

eddie had to think for a moment, but then he figured richie was referring to the night where they watched the stars. the first time richie ever really opened up to him- to anybody. eddie nodded, finally locking eyes with the warm chocolate brown orbs. richie then smiled and laced their fingers.

"good. now c'mon. don't you have bio?"

the two walked into the school together hand in hand. there weren't that many people yet, but there was still enough to attract too many eye's for eddie's liking.

when they stopped at eddie's locker, richie seemed to look beyond him then back down, a knowing smirk on his face. "meet me at the library in 5?" eddie smiled shyly before nodding, not being able to say anything else before richie bounded back down the hallway.

eddie thought it was weird how he didn't really say anything on why they were meeting in the library or why he left so suddenly, but when he heard the shrill voice of his name being called, he slowly came to understand why richie left so suddenly.

"eddie kaspbrak!" eddie jumped at first, then when he looked down the opposite way he and richie came from, a small unsure smiled graced his lips. "hi, stan... what's up?" stanley glared for a moment only for it to be replaced with a knowing look.

"richie tozier, eddie? seriously? of all the people, richie tozier?" he wasn't as harsh as bill but still just as judgmental.

eddie sighed, closing his locker. they both stood there in silence before stanley crossed his arms, his face letting up on the stare. "are you going to spill?" eddie looked at him, "i don't know. are you going to judge me the whole time like bill did?"

eddie knew it was bill who obviously told him. that made fear bubble up in his stomach. if stanley knew, then the rest of the losers' probably did aswell.

stanley gave eddie another hard look, before gesturing for him to speak. eddie thought about it for a moment. he knew stanley was going to report back to bill, no matter what he said, so he opted out for the second option instead.

"meet me in the auditorium in ten minutes. bring the rest of the losers. we're going to have a family meeting."  
  



	13. twelve

_third (i'm sorry for the hella fucking long filler chapter it'll be worth it.) _

** _september 14, 1991_ **   
  
  


all of the losers piled into the auditorium, unaware of why this sudden call of a meeting was happening.

eddie finally reached the room as well, a bit more out of breath than the others as the library and the auditorium were on two separate sides of the school.

richie was a bit disappointed that eddie couldn't stay but then again, so was eddie when he found out that he was ruining a soon to be make-out session in the back of the library. it took everything in him to walk away from the inviting scene in front of him, but he had to talk to his friends.

eddie thought about his reasoning for wanting to justify everything with them was selfish, but he couldn't help this is how it had to be. he wasn't sure if bill could get mad enough at him for this to call his mother and tell her everything. eddie couldn't risk that.

he composed himself at the top of the auditorium before he made his way down the ramp where his friends stood. beverly was the first one to speak. "why did you call us in here eddie? is everything okay?"

he glanced at bill then stan who stood beside each other. he set his bookbag on one of the seats and sighed, looking down at his feet. they already knew, so he might as well just spit it out.

"so, as i'm sure all of you know, i've been hanging out with someone new lately-"

"ooh, are you finally going to tell us about this mystery person?" beverly commented from her place on the floor, a smile gracing her lips. eddie furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at her. "wait- you guys don't know?" they all shrugged except for bill and stan.

"why would we when you haven't told us." ben stated. eddie looked over at his two best friends with his eyes wide. "i-i don't know..." he mumbled, looking down at the ground, hoping for any kind of inspiration to fly up and smack him in the face.

why didn't bill tell the rest of them? it didn't make any sense. eddie sighed and moved his bookbag, sitting in the place of his bag. he put himself on the spot and there was no way of getting out of it now.

"so are you going to tell us?" bev sat up, moving in closer to eddie's legs, looking like a child on christmas morning. eddie rubbed his hand over his face. it's now or never. bill or stanley was eventually going to spill and he would rather it be from him.

"it's richie tozier."

"richie tozier? as in henry bowers _friend_, richie tozier?" ben asked, shock in his voice.

"thank you." bill mumbled under his breath only to get an elbow in the rib by stan. eddie sighed, not meeting anyone's eye. "he's not really his friend. he just sorta ended up there." bill scoffed and eddie glared up at him.

"eddie do you realize what that does to us? he- he could be like their spy or something!" ben spoke frantically. eddie shook his head. "no, no he's not like that! it's all an act! pretenses. if you just got to know him i know we could all get along." bill stepped forward with his arms crossed over his chest, the same firey hate in his eyes like the other day.

"forget it eddie. him or us."

at that, beverly glared up at bill. "enough! eddie's our friend, and we should trust him. if he says richie's a good person then the least we can do is give him a chance." beverly moved her gaze back to eddie, setting a reassuring hand on his knee.

"when do we meet him?"

'

_ **september 17, 1991** _

"i want you to meet my friends." richie looked up at the lovely little fireball sitting in-front of him that he fell so deeply for in the past couple of weeks. richie locked eyes with him and saw the determination and excitement that swam in the honey golden hues.

richie sat up in the bean bag chair he made into a home for fifth hour while eddie sat on the ground in front of richie's legs, his geometry textbook propped up on his own knees.

"why?" eddie's happy face dropped a little, not expecting richie to ask him that, though it quickly returned when he thought of an answer.

"well, because they're important to me... and so are you now." he shrugged like what he said wasn't a declaration of his love for richie.

even if it wasn't, richie had every intention of taking it that way. he smiled a little and let his fingers drag over the sharp edges of the page on the book he was reading.

"i thought they didn't like me?" richie mumbled, returning his gaze onto his book, pretending to read. in reality, richie really hadn't been able to focus on the book for the last half an hour anyway, hoping that every other minute he looked up from his page, he would catch eddie's eye. 

instead, all he was met with was the face of a very focused boy. eddie sighed, closing his math book. "that's not true." richie scoffed and laid his head back down.

"really? do you know who i'm friends with?" richie laughed dryly.

eddie thought over his words for another minute before speaking again. "but you're not like that. they just have to see that for themselves." eddie put a loving hand on richie's bent knees, placing his chin on the back of his hand.

when richie didn't say anything else, he glanced down at the lanky boy below him.

eddie began pouting at him, letting his fluffy eyelashes bat against his eyes. "pleaseee,"eddie bit down on his lip, thinking of a compromise to convince the raven haired boy. richie slapped his hands down over his face, saying muffled words that eddie couldn't understand.

"if you start to feel uncomfortable we'll leave. i don't want to force either of you together." he sighed softly. "i just want the most important people in my life to be friends."

richie struggled not to look up into the convincing orbs but failed miserably when eddie patted the side of his thigh to get his attention. he peaked up at eddie through his finger's, a smirk playing on his lips.

"and if we do leave, when i feel uncomfortable- because i _will_ feel uncomfortable, you'll repay me for my troubles with our resumed make out session?"

eddie instantly burned a bright pink, but nodded reluctantly anyway. "fine, but you have to try! an hour at the least."

richie groaned miserably into his hands, before looking up at the ceiling in defeat.

"when do i meet them?"

'  
_**september 18, 1991**_

the meeting ground was decided on mike hanlon's farm the following tuesday night. a neutral ground for all of them. richie knew where it was considering it was close to where henry bowers lived. and the rest of them beside's eddie reluctantly rode with bill and his questionable driving while mike gave him the directions.

they decided on tuesday because sonia had recently taken up a book club down the street, where her and five other middle-aged mom's got together and fanaticized and talked about a book they were reading.

because it was her first meeting, she informed eddie she would be out later than other normal nights. eddie thought of it to be the perfect time for everyone to meet up.

eddie and richie sat outside eddie's house in the notorious bright red car, richie refusing to turn on the engine. "rich," eddie groaned irritably. "you promised." richie narrowed his eyes at nowhere in particular and crossed his arms over his chest.

"i feel like i'm going to meet your parents for the first time, except they're five unsociable teenagers who already hate me because of who i hang out with." eddie felt like he maybe should have been offended by that statement but it was true.

eddie sighed softly, turning to face richie. "they promised to play nice. if i'm as important to them as they are to me, they'll keep that promise. now you have to keep yours." richie looked over at eddie, who's face was graciously getting kissed by the setting sun, his freckles sparkling against his skin.

he rolled his eyes at his own rapidly beating heart before turning over the key and backing out of the driveway.

the ride was mostly quiet, both boy's trying to keep their nerves at bay for the other one.

richie bit his lip, hesitantly looking over at eddie, tapping his slender fingers against the steering wheel.

eddie played with his own fingers, watching out the window as they went out of town and began driving on a dirt road. richie cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "so uh when one of your friends corner me and start interrogating me about our relationship, what should i say we are?"

eddie looked over at richie, who kept his eyes forward, not wanting to face eddie for the shorter boys' answer. eddie looked away, facing forward too. honestly, he wasn't sure. they hadn't really talked about it or even had enough time in the intimacy of each other to discuss it.

"friends." he answered after a while of silence. richie nodded, not saying anything more. they pulled up to an old house, the wheel's on richie's car groaning under the constant abuse of rocks and mud when they came to a halt.

eddie gripped the handle of the car door, ready to make his exit before richie gripped his wrist, pulling his attention back to him. "quick question before we go in," eddie nodded, turning to face him better. richie moved closer, eddie taking in the scent of winter fire mint, and cigarettes. just like any other time he came near the smell, his whole body felt like jelly.

they were close enough for richie's lips to nearly be touching his. eddie yearned for the feeling as he glanced down at the plush pillows, seeming to mock the younger one as they moved in such a motion, eddie could've swore they existed just for him to stare at. "just, tell me this. do normal friend's know what each other's mouths taste like?"

a small gasp escaped from eddie's throat as they pulled away at the same time, richie getting out before him, slamming his door afterward. eddie sat in the car for another second, his cheeks flushing from the heat forming at the bottom of his tummy from such a statement.

he was only broken out of his trance when richie called for him when he was halfway to the hanlon's door. eddie cleared his throat and unbuckled his seat belt, taking faster steps to catch up with richie's long legs.

mike invited them both in with a warm smile. eddie smiled back, though richie just nodded his head in acknowledgment.

mike led them to his basement door where he told the two boys that's where the rest of the losers were. "did you have any trouble finding me richie? i know i'm way out in yonder." mike joked. richie shook his head. "no, not really. i have a friend that lives around here."

mike smiled at him and nodded his head. "henry bowers, right?"

richie glanced at eddie. "uh, yeah. that's him." mike changed the subject when he noticed richie's tense state. "we're all really happy you did this richie. i haven't known eddie long but you must be something for the short stack to rile us all up yesterday."

eddie glared at mike for the name, but richie cracked a smile, finding it amusing. mike opened the basement door and went down first. richie was silently grateful for that. he really didn't want to be the first thing eddie's friends saw descending down the steps.

"guess who's here?" mike announced happily. richie took back his statement and instead wished all together he wasn't here.

when they all landed on the ground, the first person to come up to richie was the girl. he knew her name was beverly, though their school seemed to have different names for her. different names for most of them actually.

she smiled warmly, her blue eyes seeming to push past any wall richie had up just for a second her eyes looking into his soul.

he found it very violating but took the hand she held out anyway, deciding to stare at the pale features instead of into her eyes. "i'm beverly," she pulled her hand away from richie's stiff one, and began pointing to everyone else in the room.

"that's ben," richie followed her finger. he knew who everyone was, but he wasn't going to burst her bubble by telling her that. she seemed too excited to show everyone off. he felt eddie put a warm hand on the back of his forearm, the taller of the two instantly melting into the touch.

he breathed out, letting all of his nerves go with it.

"that's stan, and that's bill. and i'm guessing you already met mike." she giggled happily. richie watched her finger when it pointed towards bill. bill. a name that he had heard so frequently come out of eddie's mouth. the sweatshirt which he knew, eddie still owned.

he wondered if he was eddie's best friend. the thought made richie's head bubble with jealousy.

ben was the second to come up to richie, placing a chubby hand on richie's arm. "nice to meet you, richie." it didn't seemed forced. none of the three greetings did. richie nodded, feeling his arm heat up from the touch, which he tried to nonchalantly shake off

ben got the hint and removed his hand, though his smile didn't falter.

eddie's heart was beating rapidly has he stared at bill. bill didn't even spare a glance at richie or eddie. they promised, they all did. richie seemed to notice eddie's distress as he looked down at him, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.

eddie swallowed thickly and gave a reassuring smile. beverly grabbed richie's hand again, this time to lead him away. "c'mon, mike has some really cool books that i think you'll like." richie quickly looked at eddie who gave him a look of, 'i can't help you now'.

richie was helplessly dragged along by the firey red-head who continued to babble about things that richie could have cared less about listening to, but wouldn't have dared interrupted her.

mike had migrated toward the t.v stand where he began shuffling through the movies they were going to watch that night.

ben moved closer to eddie, watching as the boy nervously chewed on his finger nails, his attention bouncing back and forth between bill and richie.

he noticed stan not saying much either but he finally had moved away from bill, leaving the darker haired of the two sulking in the corner.

"you okay, eddie?" eddie looked over at ben, moving from his position of leaning against the stairs banister to stand straighter. "yeah, uh yeah. hey, um, did bill say anything to you guys before we came here?" ben looked over at bill before shaking his head.

"no, he didn't really say anything actually. neither did stanley. though when does stan really talk." ben mumbled the last part. eddie shrugged in agreement, before looking back at richie who was already staring at him.

eddie gave him an encouraging smile before looking back at ben.

beverly who was still talking noticed that now, richie wasn't even pretending to listen. she followed his line of sight then sighed a little, elbowing his arm.

"you can't protect him forever you know?" beverly stated as she began stacking the books she thought richie might find interesting. richie looked at her, "who said i was trying to protect him." she shrugged, a small knowing smile playing on her lips. "the way you look at him." she stated matter of factly.

richie shook his head, chuckling slightly as he finally sat down beside her on the chair. "i'm not trying to protect him." she was quiet for a moment, before letting him win. "okay, so you're not. you got nothing to worry about with ben, though. he'd wouldn't even hurt a bee if it was stinging him."

she spoke fondly, flipping through one of the old hanlon photo albums. richie watched her for a second, before grabbing on the books from the stack she had made for him.

"you got a thing for haystack or something?" she looked at him with a small glare, "sorry, i mean ben." he quickly apologized.

she shrugged pushing the book aside before adverting her gaze to the loner boy in the corner. "relationships," she mumbled before looking back at richie, a small smirk tugging on the side of her lips. "complicated aren't they?"

he looked up at her with an amused smile. "something like that," he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, beverly watching him as he did with interest. "you smoke?" he asked, getting ready to pull out another one.

she quickly shook her head, avoiding her gaze from the addictive chemical. "no, no. not anymore. there's a ledge out back that you can smoke on though. then mike's grandparent's won't see you."

he nodded gratefully, standing up and looking over at eddie. "don't worry. i'll tell 'em you'll be back." he followed beverly's directions, and stepped outside, annoyingly aware of the animal sounds surrounding him.

he lit the cigarette between his fingers, trying not to inhale too much of the air around him. for being so secluded, he thought that it should've given the farm more space to air out, when in actuality it just blew all of the smells together.

he heard a small creak from the floors behind him, expecting it to be eddie coming to find where he ran off to. he was surprised when he turned his head, he saw the curly-haired jew, giving him a cautious smile.

"hey." stan said stepping closer to him, his movements slow, afraid that if he moved too fast richie would run away. "hey," richie answered back, surprise laced in his voice. stan stepped beside richie, leaning against the wooden post that held up the little balcony.

stan looked out into the view, they were both quiet. richie felt like he should feel awkward, but he didn't. the calm radiated off of stan and hit richie like a tidal wave, putting his racing mind at ease.

stan all of a sudden spoke, startling richie from his serene world. "hey, you see that?" stan pointed his hand excitedly out into the wilderness. richie looked at him, confused. "what?" then he followed the direction where his finger was pointed.

richie shook his head, rubbing out his cigarette against the wooden railing. "no. what am i looking at?" stan huffed softly and grabbed his head, shifting it to where he was looking. far away, too far for richie to see without his glasses was a small blue blob on a tree.

"it's a blue-fronted redstart," stan whispered in awe. richie furrowed his eyebrows, leaning closer over the railing to try and see what stan was. "you can see that far away?" richie asked. stan shrugged, looking over at him, really taking in his face.

his lips looked like they had just finally begun fitting his face, his front teeth still barely pushing against his top lip, making it jut out more than his bottom. his freckles were seeming to retire for the winter as they were starting to sink back into his skin. his cheeks were less puffy too. the baby fat melting away and being replaced by sharp cheekbones.

stan looked away, blinking quickly, looking back at the bird.

"i like birds." stan stated. richie nodded his head, his fingers itching to grab another cigarette from his pocket, but instead, he pulled out a container of icebreakers, offering stan one. he declined. "so eddie, huh?" richie looked over at him and nodded his head. they were quiet, the only thing keeping the rising tension at bay was the insistent cow mooing.

"just be careful with him rich," stan whispered. "not all of us have as thick of skin when you decide that you're bored." richie looked over at him, ready to open his mouth and speak when another angelic voice followed through.

"richie?" both of their heads whipped toward the doorway just as a little eddie kaspbrak came into view. though he had a mint moistening his tongue, his mouth seemed to go dry anyway.

"everything okay?" he asked warily, looking between the two. stan nodded instantly, smiling a little. "everything's fine, eddie. see you inside?" he left without looking at richie again.

eddie took the place of stan, looking up at richie through thick eyelashes. "so you met stan?" eddie asked, wrapping his arms around richie's torso to keep himself shielded from the biting wind.

richie looked over at the blue blob that turned into two.

"yeah. something like that. "   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. thirteen

_third (i've had this done for two days now but forgot to post it, oops)_

"you're not seriously going to eat all of that," eddie spoke with mild disagreement and disgust laced in his voice. both boys looked down at richie's mountain of belgium waffles that was set in front of him.

richie smirked, looking up at the shorter boy with confidence as he grabbed his fork and knife. "get ready to eat your words kaspbrak." eddie sat back, his shoulders leaning against the booth seat. "i bet you the five bucks you won't even get halfway through it."

"get ready to eat your words and your money then," richie spoke with a mouth full of fluffy pastry and whipped cream. eddie giggled as he moved from his comfortable position to wipe away the excess amount of the cool whip off of richie's cheek.

it'd been about a week since mike hanlons' house and even though tensions were still high, eddie had never felt freer. he wasn't grounded anymore so he was able to continue- as richie called it- his rendezvous with the taller boy whenever they pleased.

there were still pressing issues such as bill, his mom, and bowers gang, though richie hadn't mentioned them in a while and the only time eddie associated richie with them anymore was at lunch while the pair stole longing glances at each other from across the cafeteria.

everyone else had seemed to warm up to richie, even inviting him to sit at their lunch table. eddie would never do that out of respect for the rest of his friends, but he couldn't help the feeling of warmth that seeped it's way into his heart when bev asked and ben and mike agreed.

richie respectfully declined to say he didn't want to stir up any trouble between the group and bowers', telling them he had to figure out how to get out of it on his own. slowly he was weening away from them, and though richie confided in eddie, he kept every possible detail of his troubles with bowers out of eddie's reach.

it frustrated the smaller boy for every time he even thought about bringing up bowers, richie immediately got eddie talking about something else, momentarily letting the thought slip his mind until he was in the confinement of his room and the thought popped back into his head.

he had half the mind of calling richie at eleven o'clock at night because of how pissed off he would get, but he didn't want to risk one of tozier parents picking up. not the best first impression. and eddie knew himself, he would stutter out a pathetic apology and hang up without letting the other person speak a word.

it wasn't until the clanking of richie's fork and simultaneous sound of the cafe belling chiming that broke eddie of his mind spell. richie smiled triumphantly at eddie, but it quickly fell when his dark eyes peered over eddie's shoulder and to the front of the store.

eddie didn't seem to notice the distress at first, a small laugh escaping his lips and he reached for his jacket where his money was stashed, taken from his mom's wallet. "i really didn't think you could do it richie- what's wrong?" eddie quickly picked up on richie's fallen face.

"i think we should leave," he spoke low, but not low enough because as soon as he let the words fall, victor criss nudged henry's side and pointed toward richie. "oh, for fucks sake." richie spit as he sat up straighter. "what? what is-" eddie leaned forward toward richie only to be pushed back forcefully against the seat by a chubby hand.

he groaned softly at the impact as richie sent daggers over the booth seat. "richie fuckin' tozier. i was wondering where you'd be. i just didn't think you'd be..." he glanced between the two teens in the booth, laughing crudely, "wait- is this a date?"

_was_, eddie thought mournfully. henry continued, putting spikes through eddie's face with his stare "i would think you would've been here with denbrough. god knows the fag's got a thing for you." eddie's eyes widened. _what_?

richie tensed at the accusation "just fuck off bower's and let him go belch," richie voice got rougher as he spoke. eddie was pushed forward as the grip on his shoulder was released. he winced softly at the pinching pain that went down his arm from the death grip he was just in.

eddie scooted the farthest he could go in the booth, pressing his back up against the window. "now why would we do that? we just got here." henry pressed on, his mock playfulness sending shivers down eddie's spine. richie abruptly got up, pushing victor out his way while he leaned over grabbing his jacket.

he got into his henry face, his height having an advantage as he glared down at him. "i said fuck off bowers. take you and your bitches and go fuck with someone else." he voice was low and rough. eddie watched wide-eyed, waiting for a fight to break-out.

it didn't, instead, henry glared back up at him, "or what? you gonna hit me tozier?" victor and belch both stood up straighter at the threat, ready to pummel richie at henry's command. "i just might." richie pushed henry back, just to turn and rip eddie out of the booth seat.

he hung over eddie like a blanket, throwing a ten on the table before rushing them out of the diner. from behind them, they could hear henry throwing profanities and promises of beatings. though eddie did his best to ignore them, richie listened to every word. 

'

both boys laid in richie's bed, in a cocoon of blankets. richie hadn't said anything since they left and eddie was nervous if he spoke richie would leave him in a fit of rage to find bowers. the only thing above surface was both of their faces. eddie was slowly beginning to grow hot, the heat that radiated off of richie on a normal day was now maximized because of the anger the taller boy felt.

"rich?" eddie wheezed out after about another twenty minutes of complete silence. "hm?" richie replied shortly, tightening his arm around eddie's waist; his thumb running progressively harsher under eddie's belly button. he was sure he had a heat rash there now.

"i-i can't breath," he mumbled out, feeling faint from how much sweat collected on his forehead. it was becoming winter and he felt like stripping down to his underwear like it was a hot summer's day.

after another minute, richie finally moved his arm which caused eddie to quickly throw the blankets off of him and sit up, enjoying the way the dry air hit his taunt skin. it wasn't long before richie tugged on eddie's arm, pulling him back down to the hot sauna richie called his bed.

richie tried to cover them both up again, but eddie grabbed his wrist preventing him from doing so. "do you want me to have an asthma attack? because i will if my lungs have to keep working so hard to breath." richie dropped the blankets and instead gave the ceiling a glare.

eddie huffed, sitting on his knees, running his finger over richie's happy trail, hoping it would make the curly-headed boy pay attention to him. "talk to me rich," eddie whispered, his hand going flat on the bottom of richie's tummy.

eddie felt goosebumps rise beneath his fingertips, and felt a sort of pride that he made them appear. richie continued ignoring him, but his glare let up. he just stared at the ceiling instead of threating it with his eyes.

he normally loved when richie had the child-like glint in his eye like when he was up to no good or talking about something he was interested in, but now it was the child-like stubbornness that was starting to irritate him.

knowing he wasn't going to get a reaction out of the stubborn boy so easily, he thought about his options before leaning down, experimentally licking a long, fat, strip from the bottom of the soft happy trail to the end of his belly button.

doing this, he felt richie go tense underneath him, a small gasp filling the room with only the second sound he made in that hour. faster than what eddie thought was humanly possible, richie sat up, gripping eddie's wrists flipping the over.

"you're walking on dangerous territory there, ed's," he breathed out, quickly running the tip of his nose along a vein that stuck out in eddie's neck. eddie giggled softly, finding the situation kind of funny when it was far from it in richie's eyes.

to prove his point, richie took his nose in the direction of eddie's ear, letting hot words linger along the inner part of the smaller's boys ear. "you really know how to turn someone on, you know that?" eddie's laugh got caught in his throat, as his cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. he was glad richie was nesting in his neck not to notice.

"i turn you on?" eddie's voice was small. he felt richie nod in his neck as his mind began to cloud._ no, no. _he pushed richie up, "no, richie. i want to talk about henry and why you're so upset." eddie sat up too, keeping distance between them. 

richie sat on the heels of his feet, "and make their dick go limp in the same sentence," richie grumbled.

"fine, you have my attention, ed's." eddie rolled his eyes at the comment before, but continued anyway, "just tell me what's bothering you, rich." he whispered softly.

the setting sun began creating golden rays of light that peaked through some of richie's closed curtains, the beams falling right onto to eddie's face, casting an angelic glow behind his head, and making his eyes turn a honey brown. he watched as his face twisted from worry to irritation in a mtter of seconds. 

richie stared until eddie nudged his knee with his foot, egging him to start talking. "i don't want you to get hurt, " richie mumbled, now looking everywhere but eddie. "henry is one sadistic son of bitch, and now that i stood up to him, he's just going to start making everyone's lives miserable. especially your's and most likely your friends. "

eddie caught the way richie said, _'your friends,_' but decided not to cut in. "just to piss me off, " he sighed softly, looking more frustrated as he talked. "just to fuck with me he'll fuck with you because now he knows-" he stopped abruptly standing up, he began a hard pace in his room. "know's what richie?" eddie asked softly. richie gripped the ends of his hair.

eddie was starting to get worried as he watched, moving slowly off the bed, making cautious movements toward the distraught boy. eddie placed his hands on richie's arms, stopping him from any more stomping. richie looked down at the big doe eyes that melted him down to his core. "he knows that you're not just some toy. that i could actually be falling for you." richie sighed softly, relaxing against eddie's touch.

they looked at each other, wide-eyed, and confused. at least eddie was anyway. richie swore he was sure about his feelings the second he laid new eyes on the boy named eddie kaspbrak. 

neither of them noticed another pair of footsteps ascending toward richie's door, it swung open, startling eddie. "hey, your mom says stop pacing, you're creating a draft- oh. was I interrupting something?" wentworth questioned, looking in-between the two teens.

"no,"

"yes," both richie and eddie replied differently. went glanced at his son, a knowing look on his face before he gave a farewell and closed the door.

eddie turned back to richie, "they've always came after us, richie. that's nothing new, you know that. don't blame yourself for something that's already happening." eddie spoke softly, brushing unruly curls out of richie's face.

richie shook his head. "no, it'll be different now." he stated it like a fact. "he's going to target you, everyone else in the school will be chopped liver when you're around." eddie spoke with confidence, though he couldn't ignore the nervousness that bubbled up in his stomach.

"so you're my one-way ticket to death, so be it. i wouldn't want to die feeling this way for anyone else but you. " even though eddie wasn't sure what he felt, he knew none of his other friends made him feel this way. 

richie felt his heart skip a beat and he lifted eddie up, tossing him onto his messy bed, while landed with a thump beside him. 

"you, eddie kaspbrak, will be the death of me."


	15. fourteen

_third _   
  
  
  
  
  


both richie and eddie sat in the back of the vacant library, mouths twisted together in a hot kiss that had richie's hands roaming and eddie's cheeks flushed. richie was pressed up against one of the bookshelves, eddie placed happily in-between the taller boy's legs. 

richie explored eddie's mouth with his tongue, sometimes letting the younger boy win dominance and push back. small whimpers would slip past eddie's lips and in a reminder to keep him quiet, richie would squeeze eddie's hips, hoisting him up higher. 

some thoughts began rummaging through eddie's brain and even though he tried his best to push them away, the same face kept popping up and disrupting his pleasure. 

bill, well stanley invited him to bill's house this weekend for their annual movie night, and bev mentioned bringing richie. he was sure bill knew that he was going to show up, but wasn't entirely sure if bill was on board with a certain curly-haired boy showing up aswell. 

bill still hadn't been completely open-minded to the fact that eddie was friends with richie, and he couldn't help but think about the heart attack his old friend might have if he knew that his mouth was being invaded by the one and only richie tozier's tongue.

his head swirled while his skin was being set ablaze by the firey touches that came from the lanky boy's fingertips. 

"ed's," richie whispered against eddie's jawline, leaving hot open-mouthed kisses in his trail down to the smaller boy's neck. "where'd you go?" eddie's pulse quickened at the new feeling, a new sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach. 

"sorry," eddie mumbled back, automatically as if against his own will- tilted his head to give richie better access. he could have groaned and thrown a fit when richie pulled away, his cocoa brown eyes showing concern. 

"talk to me, spaghetti." eddie glared half-heartedly; partly at the pet name and because eddie was finally becoming more comfortable with normal human intimacy and richie was interrupting to talk about eddie's feelings. 

eddie knew that he should take and run with the fact that richie tozier was concerned about his personal feelings, but right now, all he wanted was those very lips that kept talking on his sweaty skin. 

" m' fine rich," eddie spoke out of breath, finally getting over his own embarrassment to meet richie's eyes. eddie was getting impatient. it's not like they did this very often, in fact, they never did this at all, this was just the promise he kept for standing richie up last time. 

richie placed small kisses leading up to eddie's ear, waking goosebumps on eddie's skin. "then why'd you stop kissing me?" richie asked curiously. eddie opened his eyes, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "i did?" 

richie nodded, amusement present on his pale features. "what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" eddie huffed bitterly. "weren't you the one who wanted this in the first place? why are ruining it?" eddie whispered. 

richie ran his hands up and down eddie's sides, letting his fingers slide underneath the smaller boys sweater, his cold digits, leaving shivers down eddie's spine, "because i can't fully enjoy you when you're not even present, my dear," richie retorted "and you can't fully enjoy me." 

eddie flushed and decided richie was right and spilling what was bothering might make this go along a lot faster. 

"bill," eddie breathed out, richie tensed momentarily as eddie continued, "well stan, invited me- us, to movie night this weekend." richie furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes scanning eddie's red cheeks. "what's so wrong with that?" eddie thought for a moment, not meeting richie's eyes. 

"cause bill's still being a dick," eddie admitted. richie's eye looked partly guilty. "because of me?" eddie shook his head. "he'll get over," eddie huffed out irritably. "so will you come?" richie shifted, gripping eddie's hips, bringing the smaller of the two with him. 

"i don't know, ed's. if it's gonna cause drama," richie mumbled. "it won't," eddie quickly interjected. "just come, please? besides, bev wants to see you again. and mike." eddie smiled brightly placing his small hands over richie's shoulder. 

richie sighed loudly before flipping their positions so eddie was underneath him, trapping him on the carpeted floor. "i would love to know what it is that makes you so convincing," richie whispered, tracing his fingers along the outline of eddie's lips. 

eddie shrugged, smiling up at the older boy, pulling his arms from underneath richie's body, brushing some of the messy curls out of richie's face. "it's a gift." richie hummed before taking his finger across eddie's cheekbones and over his nose tracing the neverending constellation marks. 

"fine, but then you have to do something for me," eddie's face twisted up in confusion, "go on a date with me." eddie furrowed his brows. "we already went on-" richie cut him off. "no, a real date. one with other people around and pda. the whole date experience."

eddie sighed softly, his arms, deflating down to his sides. "richie that's really-" "really what?" richie interjected. "it's 1991 eddie. it's not like homosexuality is a complete sin- completely frowned upon." 

eddie picked at the frayed parts of the carpet while he chewed on dry parts of his lip. "rich-" eddie huffed cutting his own self off. "why do we always blackmail each other?" richie laughed sitting up, helping eddie up too. "it's called compromise." richie retorted, "besides," he stood up, grabbing his bag off the floor. "i like our little game of cat and mouse." when richie said this, eddie's mouth gaped open slightly. _oh. _

"is that why-" eddie was cut off by the bell, richie give eddie a sly smirk before walking away, his longer legs giving him an advantage. eddie scoffed. _that little shit. _  
  
  
  


_'_

"eddie, that you?" it was a greeting eddie's heard every day he's come home from school since he was seven years old. he wasn't sure if it was his mother making sure it wasn't a complete stranger coming through the door- even though she locks the door every day after work, or if it was just confirmation that eddie did indeed come home to her after leaving. 

eddie would sometimes think about what was going to happen when it became time to go off to college. he had thoughts of going to NYU for arts and sciences or UCLA, but he knew his mother would want him to choose a college closer to home. she had already made remarks about him going a law school near derry.

he sometimes wondered where richie wanted to go considering he never really talked about it. he always asked eddie about his college options but never expressed his own. eddie knew richie was exceptionally smart and if he wanted, he'd be able to get into one of the top colleges out there. 

unfortunately for richie, his personality just didn't match college standards. eddie just couldn't see richie spending four more years of his precious youth studying a major he may not even make a career out of. eddie on the other hand, didn't see a problem with it as he felt he didn't have much a youth outside of his small cricle of friends anyway and seeing as all of them will most likely seperate, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. 

"long day?" sonia asked eddie when he sat down on the couch next to her recliner. he shook his head, his memories momentarily flashing back to fifth period in the library. he instantly stopped thinking about it, worried his mother with one look could know what was going through his head. 

"uh," he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, cheeks flushing pink. "not really. same old thing." sonia hummed, looking back down at her crochet set. she was abnormally quiet, eddie noticed. it made his pulse instantly quicken. the only time she didn't cross-examine him for every little thing about his day was when she was building up the breath to try and scold and manipulate him. 

they both sat in silence, eddie too worried to get up and leave in fear of her doing something shady. 

"your dad called." the sound of another voice made eddie jump before the words set into his brain. _my dad? _"he wanted to know how you were doing," sonia continued, her fingers moving nimbly with the thread. why would she tell him if his dad called? she never had before. "why?" was all eddie could spit out. he wasn't too emotionally affected by the news, but he was shocked; more about the fact she had told him then him actually calling. 

his dad would periodically throughout the years call, especially on his eddie's birthday asking to talk to eddie only to get shut down by sonia. eddie would sometimes catch the end of the phone call when he would hear his mother frantically and as quietly as she could yell at his father over the phone. 

_'no, frank. he doesn't need to speak to you. he has everything he needs right here, with me.' _

_'a growing boy needs his father sonia. let me speak to him. if we would have done this in any other courtroom you know i would visitation rights,'_

_'well you don't! i hear him, don't call here again frank. _ _we _ _don't want to hear from you.'_

"eddie? did you hear me?" eddie blinked twice before looking back over to his mother. "what?" she set down her tools, turning to look at him more properly. "he wants you to go with him for a weekend, so you're going to go," eddie furrowed his eyebrows. "wait, what?" she continued not answering his question. "you're going this weekend. i'm dropping you off at the train station friday afternoon and you'll ride it to pittsburgh where he'll pick you up-" 

"mom, i have plans-" she cut him off harshly, her tone set and no longer sweet. "you're going eddie. no exceptions. you don't need to spend all of your time with those friends of yours." 

eddie knew why she was doing this. it was a punishment for not spending enough time with her. as soon as his grounding was over and he went out at all hours again, she began to get clingy. if grounding didn't keep him away then maybe sending him to a whole other city for weekend would.

he glared at the side of her face before abruptly standing. "fine. but you're not taking me," 

"excuse me?" sonia asked, astionshed that eddie had talked back. "and who exactly would be taking you anywhere? i didn't approve of this," eddie fish-mouthed, his spark of confidence instantly deflating like water down the drain as soon as his mother raised her voice. the name was on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spew if he didn't chomp down hard enough on it. 

"a.. a friend." he stammered, his fingers becoming twitchy against his thigh. "who eddie?" she pressed on. he swallowed the lump in his throat harshly, letting the thick spit travel down his throat while he thought about what to say. "a friend," he concluded again. 

"and he's taking me, whether you like it or not." eddie turned on his heel, listening to the insistent wails of his mother behind him, demanding him to come back and tell her who it was. instead, he stomped up the creaky wooden steps, letting his door slam behind him. 


	16. fifteen

_third _   
  
  
  
  


"are you sure you have to go?" eddie looked up at the taller boy hanging onto him, a smile playing on his lips as he held back tighter, burying his face in richie's chest. "yes," eddie spoke, his word muffled. "i have no choice." he pulled away as he spoke, his voice clearer. 

"thanks for bringing me. it really pissed my mom off but it was worth it." eddie laughed, faintly remembering his mom's red cheeks and insistent screeching as he stormed away from her. richie nodded, playing with eddie's fingers, trying to remember the touch. "of course," richie sighed, scuffing his old black shoes against the ground. eddie picked this up a while ago and he was still trying to figure out what it meant. 

"i'm going to miss you this weekend," richie admitted. eddie smiled squeezing his fingers. "you'll be fine. promise me you'll go to bill's." he asked expectatly.

richie sucked in a breath, "do i have a choice?" eddie shrugged his shoulders. "no. i already told bev your address. if you aren't there by seven she's coming to pick you up on ben's bike." richie furrowed his eyebrows. "why ben's?" eddie shrugged again. "ben's has a second passenger seat."

richie snorted softly. "i'll go, just know i won't enjoy it." eddie sighed softly, running his hand down richie's arm, letting his fingers linger. "bev will make it fun. just give everyone a chance, okay? and if bill gives you trouble-" richie cut in, this time setting his hand on eddie's waist. "i'm a big boy ed's. i can handle myself." 

eddie sighed softly but nodded. "thank you for doing this. i know how hard it is for your anti-social self to be social." richie scoffed slightly. "who said i was going to be social?" eddie pushed his shoulder but smiled anyway. they were broken out of the little world they set up with each other when the last blow of the train horn signaled for any final passengers. 

"shut up, tozier. i'll see you on monday." richie scoffed again then smiled as he spoke, watching as eddie backed away from him slowly, a small, sad smile lingering on the smaller boys' lips. "monday? i'll see you sunday night ed's." eddie rolled his eyes and climbed up the train steps, giving one last wave before the door was closed.   
  


'  
  


it was six thirty at the tozier residence when loud knocking rang through the fairly quiet home. maggie tozier opened the door to be met with a vibrant looking red-head who had a smile to melt anyone's heart. "hi, i'm beverly marsh. im here for richie?" bev spoke confidently, peering over maggie's body expecting to see richie watching but trying to hide.

maggie furrowed her eyebrows, "you are?" she questioned, her eyes showing curiosity. "richie!" she called suddenly stepping back inviting beverly in. 

"thanks," beverly spoke softly, waiting at the front door for a certain curly-headed boy to come down the steps. she heard the bustling footsteps of a teenager as he jogged down the steps. "i already told you the cigarettes- oh." he stop talking when he spotted beverly standing at his front door, a smile playing on her lips. 

"thank you for showing up richard. i was worried i would have to drag you out of here by your ear." she spoke playfully, stepping forward. "bring a pillow. we always spend the night." richie furrowed his eyebrows as he watched her look around, short curls brushing her cheeks. _what was she doing here? bring a pillow?_ it didn't take long to register what was going on when she looked back at him raising an eyebrow. 

"well get a move on! stan doesn't like when we're late." she huffed through a fond smile that lingered on her lips. more confusing thoughts ran through the tall boy's head before he found himself turning on his heel to make his way back up the steps. upon entering his bedroom, he realized he hadn't said a word to her yet, but he wasn't sure what to say. he shouldn't have underestimated eddie that was clear. 

or the feisty red-head for that matter.

he glanced at pillow on his unmade bed, watching it taunt him on what his next move would be. he grumbled softly, gripping the pillow in between his fist. stepping out of his bedroom he saw his mother give him a warm look before seeing his pillow. "where are you going?" she asked suspicion creeping into her voice. 

richie wasn't sure how to explain it, knowing in his own head how complicated it sounded to say 'my not really boyfriends friends' house to watch movies even though he's not even going to be there because he's in pittsburgh with his dad.' so, he opted for, "a movie night with friends." 

it felt foreign letting it roll off his tongue but not wrong. she nodded brushing a wrinkle off richie's t-shirt. "and the girl?" her blue eyes feened innocence but he knew better. he huffed moving her hand off. "purty ain't she? unfortunately for the poor lil' filly, i like them boy genetics," he did his best southern accent knowing it would annoy his mom enough to back off. 

"funny," she rolled her eyes. "have fun," she called when he bound back down the stairs. beverly looked back up at him when he walked down the steps, another smile gracing her lips. "you ready partener?" she joked, raising her eyebrow. 

richie cringed inwardly when she said that following her outside. he gripped his keys between his fingers, hoping one of the jagged edges would poke through skin so he had an exuece to go back inside.

"you heard that?" he asked sheepishly. she laughed nudging her arm against his. "yeah, i did. and i thought it was pretty good actually. your walls are like paper apparently." she giggled walking to her bike. 

"you actually brought the bike," richie mumbled out amused. "i did," she confirmed getting on. "come on up partner, this little filly don't bite," she spoke in her own southern accent. richie smiled at that, not being able to hold it back. "there's no way i'm riding bitch on haystacks bike." 

beverly glared at him but got off the bike anyway. "right, ben, sorry." richie apologized. he picked up the bike opening his trunk. both teens looked at the trunk then at each other. "theres no way that's fitting in there," bev commented. richie scoffed. "you've never seen me shove things away." 

bev laughed, finding it more funny then she should have as she helped him shove bens bike into his trunk. with three good slams the back door finally came down and locked. 

after some instructions from bev, they finally made it to the denbrough estate. beverly got out with ease, like she didn't have a care in the world as she roughly pulled ben's bike out of richie's trunk. richie didn't know how she did it.

he'd heard about the rumors at school, how she didn't have the best of home life, or the reason she hung out with all boys, but she walked as if she didn't even hear a word anyone said - or if she did, well she'd be damned if she'd let it affect her. 

he knows they heard the rumors about him too. hell, some of them weren't even rumors. richie knew he didn't belong here, this was almost like sacrade ground, and he was just soiling it with every pebble he kicked and every flower in mrs. denbrough's garden he passed. 

maybe he was doing that with eddie too. maybe he was breaking down every sweet and unbloomed part that eddie himself had yet to discover, and richie was just ripping that away. he knew it wasn't right or fair, but then why did it _feel _so right when they touched? 

"you just gonna stand there all day or are you coming inside?" he looked over his shoulder at beverly who had her fingers over the door handle. she already had his pillow clutched underneath her arm along with his backpack. 

he wasn't sure when she grabbed either of his belongings but decided not to ask and instead followed her inside. bev led richie down stairs, her flip flops making an annoying announcement to their arrival. richie felt like maybe he should feel awkward without eddie, considering these really were his friends but once at the bottom of the steps, he wasn't treated any different to bev's hello either.

both ben and mike gave richie warm smiles and 'hey's' and stanley didn't look any less disturbed from the book he was flipping through at the desk in the corner. the only thing that differed his arrival from beverly's was that he got short-lived daggers from bill.

short lived because beverly 'the saint' as richie decided to call her at that moment, pulled him away as-soon as she stepped into the room. he noticed ben watch her intently as she pulled away bill bit knew he had his own triangle to figure out and if haystack wanted the girl, he'd need to try a little harder.

he glanced at stanley in the corner, taking in the way he sat so perfectly straight and how he was careful when flipping the page in whatever picture book he was so into. richie could have groaned out loud in annoyance for how perfect he always had to be.

walking up behind him, he could see over his shoulder what exactly had him so caught up in whatever little world he was in. richie smiled to self. _birds. of course it was a fucking bird book._

richie almost felt a little bad reaching his hand over and tapping his fingers over the curly-headed boys shoulder. it took a second for stanley to look up, blinking a few times when he did.

he wasn't expecting richie, that was for sure, richie could read that on his face, but he wasnt dissapointed like he thought he might be. "hey.." stanley said slowly, a cautious smile appearing on his lips. richie gave a small one back, hoping it gave the impression of harmlessness. 

"come walk with me?" richie asked instead of giving a greeting back. richie moved back as stan stood up, the jewish boy leading the way for them to go out a back door. richie could feel eyes on them, him, but he wasn't sure who they belonged to.

stan opened the door for the them and led them further out onto the deck, setting himself comfortable on the wooden railing at the very end. richie followed suit, trying to do a cool parkour move over the railing, only to almost fall and catch himself at the last second.

he heard a small giggle come from stan followed by a, "idiot." they sat in silence for a while, richie taking in the lavish backyard of the denbroughs and stan watching the trees above them. stan was the first to break the silence when richie pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one between his lips.

stanley glanced over, only to put his attention back on the trees. "your mom finally except you smoke those things?" richie laughed like it was a joke, thinking back to the faint memory of earlier today where his mom did a horrible job of trying to call him out on it.

"no. if anything she pretends more and more that i dont and just takes more precautions to make sure nothing smells like it." stan snubbed a laugh against his arm as he took it across his nose, the fall weather becoming unforgiving with the wind.

"you could always just, not smoke." stan stated monotonously. richie huffed out another small laugh, hearing the underlying playfulness in stanleys voice. "suppose i could. i know eddie would like it more. he says his mom has the nose of a hound dog and im starting to think he's right,"

the air got quiet when richie brought up eddie, but both boys knew what they were doing out here in the first place. "what _are_ we doing out here, rich?" stanley asked, though he already knew it was going to be about the subject of eddie, he just wasn't quite sure what about. richie huffed out a breath of smoke, taking in the sound of loud trees whistling around them.

"what did you mean the other day by, 'when i get bored with eddie'?" stanley sighed sitting up straighter. "richie," 

"no, stanley," stan felt a little startled, his heart picking up speed at the sound of richie saying his name. "what was it supposed to mean? because from what i remember you broke up with me." richie turned to looked at the side of stanley's face, hoping that he could pick up - remember _something_, anything from stanley's body language. but instead, the shorter one sat there, staring into the distance. 

"you... were getting bored, moving into the wrong crowd.. summer was ending i-" richie scoffed and stanley sighed softly, closing his eyes. "i didn't want to get hurt, richie." richie softened his posture, stubbing his cigarette out against his jeans. 

"i would have never hurt you, stanley." richie whispered. "i would never hurt eddie. i-" richie stopped himself, glaring down at his feet that dangled over the edge of the wooden banister, his belly doing somersaults at the thought of the smaller boy. "he's my friend," richie sighed. "and you were - are- too." stanley looked over at him, furrowing his eyebrows.

richie moved closer into stanley, their arms pressing together. stanley leaned into him, closing whatever tension and gap they had between them, as he fed off of richie's heat. "i'm sorry for ditching you all those summer's ago for a bunch of asshats," richie mumbled. stanley laughed, and looked at this side of his face. "eh, it's alright. i had my own loser's to go back to. guess i should apologize to them for ditching them all those summer's ago." 

richie chuckled, his mind drifting to what it would have been like if he would've stayed friends with stanley after the jewish boy broke it off. if he would've already been friends with eddie. if they would be _closer_. "you tell eddie about already knowing me?" stanley asked quietly. richie shook his head quickly. "no, have you?" stan shook his head, too. "he has a right to know, rich." 

richied hummed softly, kicking his feet, letting them scruff against the edge of the ground. "i know he does. do you think he'll be mad?" richie asked worriedly. stanley laughed. "hard to say. a bit neurotic that one," richie smiled fondly, "drives ya' crazy, doesn't he?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of stozier there but i swear it's completely platonic. i'm debating on how much detail in their back story i should go.


	17. sixteen

_third_   
  
  


sunday rolled around and just as richie promised, he was at eddie's window at nine o'clock sharp. they never really agreed on a time, but he hoped by now, eddie was home. throwing rocks at your (kind of) lover's window seemed so cliche in richies' mind but he really didn't know any other way of getting eddie's attention.

after a few seconds, he saw the dark curtains draw back and the familiar, sweet face peek out of the window. a smile graced eddies' lips as he opened the mesh screen, his small body leaning out over the window pane. "hello, my romeo. how was your weekend without me?" he teased lightly. richie smiled, willing his heart to calm down. 

he stepped back to give himself a running boost up to ledge under eddie's window. his knee landed hard against the panel, but it was easy to ignore it when he came face to face with the boy he couldn't keep off his mind. 

eddie reached his arm out to pull richie fully into his room, giggling softly when richie's landing wasn't as smooth as last time. eddie raised his eyebrow after helping richie steady himself, "well, how was it this weekend?" he asked curiously, trying to keep his prying voice at bay.

richie wrapped his arms around the small frame, pushing them both onto eddies' bed. "fucking terrible." he mumbled against eddie's neck, taking in the scent that radiated off of him. 

though richie would probably never tell eddie, it was his favorite part of the smaller boy. he felt so connected to him when he buried his face in the soft skin, and smell that came off of him - though faint most of the time - was intoxicating and seemed personal enough as if it was just for richie.

he thought about how pretty eddie would look with his own little purple marking that claimed eddie as richies' and richie's only, but he knew that eddie would never let him mark his skin like that, especially with his mother so suspicious. so, his nose trailing up and down the small vein was enough for now. 

"terrible?" eddie asked softly after a small yawn. "was it really that bad?" it wasn't, but richie wasn't sure if he wanted to dive in just yet about every single detail about saturday night, because he knew eddie would want just that. instead, he breathed softly against the skin, relishing in how it was slowly getting clammy and warm.

he would've purred if he could've when eddie began carding his hand through the unruly curls that made a home on top of his head.

"well?" he asked again, stopping his hand in the middle of richie mop of hair. richie hummed softly in response. eddie huffed and reached beside him to turn on his alarm clock and turn off the now over-heated lava lamp.

eddie rubbed underneath his eye's, feeling how sunk in they felt. every hour while eddie was with his dad, his mom would call and demand to speak to him. if they were out she threatened to never let him come again if he didn't call back as soon as they heard the message.

as if on cue, richie mumbled into his neck, the words vibrating against his skin, "how was your dad's house?" eddie shrugged shortly, looking up at the completely dark ceiling contemplating his answer. "oh, so now you have a voice?" eddie quipped though it carried no bite. 

richie hummed again and eddie sighed softly."i might as well have stayed here," he answered honestly. "i was lucky if i got a whole hour with my dad before my mom would call and talk to me for a solid ten minutes about absolutely nothing." he spoke, closing his now burning eyes, hating the way his chest burned with frustration. 

richie felt eddie get tense in his arms, and began rubbing his fingers in between the waistband of boys' shorts on the softer skin of eddies hip. eddies' body relaxed but his skin prickled as richies' fingers left goosebumps in their wake. "has she always been like that? ya' know, smothering?" richie asked quietly. eddie breathed out through his nose, nodding his head. 

"i don't know why," he mumbled. "it got worse after my dad left. she was heartbroken when they got divorsed but wasn unhappy when they were married,though when they were married." richie nodded, staying quiet.

when eddie didn't speak again, richie figured eddie had fallen asleep. he pulled back slowly to look at the younger boys' face, only to see the dark outline of long eyelashes flutter down to look at richie. 

"i missed you... bill's wasn't good because you weren't there." richie admitted quietly. eddie's heart skipped a beat as he listened to richie talk. he wondered if richie felt the same way when eddie said certain things. he wasn't sure what to say and instead leaned his head down to press cautious lips against richies. 

richie instantly cupped eddie's jaw, pulling him in closer. eddie hummed softly against richie's lips when the taller boy's tongue pushed past eddie's lips and teeth. richie found it an improvement from the complete surprise eddie expressed last time, but kept it slow. 

eddie shifted closer as richie's tongue slowly explored eddie's. eddie thought about how he should find this completely disgusting, but all that clouded his brain was _want_. their mouths moved in perfect unison, meeting each other with each peck of their lips.

eddie pulled back suddenly, richie chasing his lips as he moved. "richie what are we doing?" eddie knew it would ruin the moment but before they took it any further, he had to know. richie humphed from his nose in replace of a laugh. "..do i have to spell it out for you sweet cheeks?" he joked, thumbing up and down eddies' cheek. 

eddie furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance, pushing richie's hand away. "i'm serious, rich," he spoke slowly. "what are we doing?" richie let out a slow breath, taking in the soft features that became illuminated from the moonlight at the expense of the forgotten curtain.

"we're being us," richie spoke. "isn't that what matters?" richie asked quietly, moving onto his back. eddie thought that maybe richie was right. there was no reason to put a label on what they had when what they had was for each other. 

eddie thought about it again and decided two seconds later that he _really _did want a label. something - someone to call his and only his. he glanced at richie, chewing on the skin of his lip, "yeah... i guess that's all that matters."

richie smiled and pressed another chaste kiss to eddie's lips, savoring the taste of toothpaste that barely lingered on his lips. both of their heads fell back onto eddie's pillow, the now once tired boy wide awake with the thoughts that ran through his mind.   
  
  


'

eddie jumped back in surprise when he closed his locker door and someone he used to call his friend stood behind it, blue eyes ablaze and a frown creasing over his eyebrows. "hey," his voice small as he took in eddies' features. eddie didn't look all that different. happier, maybe. 

"hey," eddie said back, tucking his books further into the elbow of his arm. he and bill didn't talk much anymore, not since the week of him telling bill about richie. to the old friends, it seemed like forever ago. they even switched lab partners which broke eddies' heart, though he didn't say anything. he'd rather hurt than cause more commotion. 

"sit with me in bio?" bill asked softly. eddie nodded though it was on the tip of his tongue to say 'no'. he truthfully did miss bill and understood how it must be hard to lose a friend to someone anyone barely knows. though in eddie's defense, it was bill who pushed him to it in the first place by making him choose. 

they walked in side by side sitting at their normal table that eddie still occupied everyday. bill smiled a little, setting his books on the table in front of him. "i missed this table," eddie nodded, another witty remark biting to get out. 

eddie's eyes stayed glued to his biology book, all of a sudden finding the dna patterns on the outside cover far more interesting than he ever had before. "eddie could you l-look at me?" bill's voice wavered but he quickly recovered. eddie looked over at him, his eyes expectant. 

"i'm sorry eddie," he started, and even though he asked for eddie's eyes on him, his own eyes were glued to his lap. "i had no reason to r-rush judging richie like that," bill sighed, lifting his eyes back up. "he is actually a pretty funny guy.. and stan seems to like him. we all know that's doesn't happen very often," bill joked light-heartedly.

eddie cracked a small smile and bill continued. "i miss us hanging out t-t-together you know? maybe i was just afraid you w-weren't gonna' hang out with us anymore," he sighed. 

eddie shook his head, reaching his hand out to touch bills'. "i would never just leave you guys like that. richie's important to me, but so are all of you. i wouldn't survive if we weren't friends. fuck, i barely survived these last couple weeks," eddie laughed softly. bill smiled. he didn't anything for a couple of seconds and eddie could tell he was thinking about something. 

"what?" eddie asked immedietly hoping that nothing went wrong. "no, it's nothing but uh," he cut himself off before taking in a deep breath. "do you want to come over later? just the two of us? it'll be like old times." bill smiled warily. eddie inhaled a small breath and richie flashed through his mind. he was kind of upset with the older boy for making eddie feel like he was in the friend-zone so eddie shrugged, nodding his head. 

"sure, why not. i don't have anything better to do. besides," he glanced down at the bio homework from over the weekend and cringed slightly. "you were always better at my homework then i was."   
  
  


'

it almost felt foreign stepping into the denbrough house by himself. he looked around the entryway at the family pictures as if he's never seen the house before. bill led them into the kitchen and pulled out a pitcher of strawberry lemonade that bill made only for eddie. eddie was wary of taking the glass. "you still have some of this?" he asked glancing down at the cup.

bill smiled and shook his head. "it's fresh, eds." he clarified before putting the pitcher back into the fridge before grabbing a juice pouch. "i made it new last night hoping you would say yes to coming over today," bill spoke sheepishly.

eddie smiled at the thoughtful action, taking a big gulp of it. his mom rarely left him have sugary drinks and this was on mildly unhealthy drink eddie picked over all others. bill always put fresh strawberries in it, knowing it was eddies' favorite part of the drink. 

"so this weekend really wasn't bad?" eddie asked as he followed bill up to his room. bill shook his head opening his bedroom door closing it after eddie stepped in. "no. he was really quiet at first but it was stan that got him to open up. they talked like they've been friends for ages," bill shook his head unzipping his bookbag.

"if i wouldn't know any better i would say they have been," eddie hummed softly, a sense of warmth crossing his chest. 

he forgave bill long ago about the whole situation but eddie was never one for making the first move. though, he was easily complaint when the first move was made. it didn't take much convincing for eddie to agree.

he sat on the bed in front of bill, setting his drink on the nightstand. he took his own homework out of bills' folder and looked down at it. bill shifted closer but eddie didn't take much notice. it wasn't odd for the losers to share each other's space. "you know what we should do? we should all go to the quarry before winter hits. i know richie would-"

he looked up only to be cut off by a warm pair of lips pressing against his. a gasp was melted into the kiss when bill pulled himself closer to get a better angle on eddie's lips. eddie sat, eyes wide and his heart beating out of his chest. his lips were pursed as bill held him in place by gripping his knee.

after another few seconds bill pulled away, his eyes mildly hurt. "why aren't you kissing back?" eddie breathed in a sharp breath, his brain moving a thousand miles a minute. his mouth was dry, not knowing how to form words. "bill, i don't feel-"

"no!" bill said quickly moving off his bed hastily. "you can't tell you didn't ever feel anything for me! if you do, i-i call b-bullshit!" eddie felt his chest tighten as words got caught in his throat. "i..i'm sorry bill-" bill left out a frustrated groan before he sat back on the bed in front of eddie, their noses nearly touching, eddie too shocked to move away

"eddie don't lie. i know you feel it too. its undeniable," he spoke softly his voice cracking. "don't you feel it?" as if to prove his point, bill set a warm hand over his face, his eyes pleading, hoping to find something. make eddie _feel _something.

and eddie did feel it. just not with bill. he knew what bill was talking about. the feeling he wanted eddie to have. the weak in the knees when you're near that person and the way your skin felt on fire anywhere their hands touched you. or how your whole body _hurt _when you weren't with them.

eddie knew the feeling all too well and he blinked sad eyes at bill before shaking his head, backing away his body. "bill," he spoke gently, gripping his wrist before pulling it off his face. "i'm so sor-" bill cut him off as he turned away from eddie, tears stinging his eyes.

"just leave, eddie." eddie tried to speak only to get cut off again. "i'm not mad -"

"just go, eddie!" bill spoke louder, his voice cracking at the end. eddie grabbed all of his stuff, placing a warm hand over bill's shoulder before he turned around leaving bill's room.

eddie wasn't sure that shocked was the right word as he bound down the carpeted steps, his heart still in his stomach. he wiped at his lips with the back of his hands a few times, guiltily, hoping it would help wipe away the feeling of culpability that sat at the bottom of his belly.

eddie didn't know if it would be better to scream or cry about how difficult his life had gotten. he wished for summer. to be warm in bill's backyard, or cuddle with all of his friends on the big, old couch in the basement during a rainstorm. or even to be at the quarry getting an un-needed tan while all of his friends tried to convince him to jump off the cliff with them. something richie had gotten him to do. 

part of him wanted to turn back, run up to bills' bedroom and kiss him again just to make everything okay like it was four hours ago. hell, like it was three weeks ago. if that would have been what would have made everything okay, eddie would have given bill the best kiss of his life just so everyone could be happy and the universe would be in align with him for once this school year.

sophomore year was supposed to be fun. he was supposed to have one more fun year with his best friends before they had to start worrying about colleges and jobs and everything that stripped you of whatever childhood they had left. 

he went into this year thinking he'd be spending every day with his friends living a carefree tenth-grade life, but eddie learned at a young age nothing is ever what you want it to be. 

he wanted to be more than just richie's makeout buddy, but lately, he wasn't sure that wish would ever come true. he wanted his friends to except richie into their friend group and his mom to not suffocate him with every solid breath he took.

eddie found himself on the path not to his house or richies' but to stans. stan was always level headed and even when he didn't agree with something, he always tried to play neutral ground. if anybody was going to tell eddie how this weekend turned out, it was stan. and he was determined to fix everything, even if he got bruises on the way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone opposed to smut? because if not theres going to be smut.


	18. seventeen

_third_   
  
  
  


eddie walked toward the uris' house, his fingers fumbling with the straps of his book bag. eddie still felt mildly shaken up but the cold air helped his churning, upset stomach. he felt guilty. he knew there was no reason to because he didn't kiss back, nor did he think he ever gave any passes at bill that weren't completely platonic, but yet the feeling still resided. 

for eddie, finding out who he was, wasn't an easy task. it wasn't an easy task for anyone. it came to a surprise to him as well when he took richie up on his advances considering he never even sat down and thought about his sexuality to begin with.

it was never something he was ashamed of because he never felt more himself and at home than when he was with richie. it didn't feel like sexuality to him, it just felt like love. maybe stupid, unorthodox, puppy love, but his heart swelled none the less. 

he wasn't mad at bill. he truly wasn't. if anything he admired him even more for trying. it had to of taken a lot of courage to do that, eddie has no doubt in his mind that it didn't, he just wishes he would have some kind of warning.

it always seemed like stanley knew everything. he always had some way of solving issues. eddie prayed hard in his head that this time would be like no other and stan would give him something to work off of. he _needed _stanley to give him something work off of. his knuckles pressed against door three times as his back supported the outside glass jamb, preventing it from swinging back into place. stan opened the door, a warm beverage perched in his fist.

stanley uris always had three cups of coffee a day. once before school, another after school, and a cup of decaf right before bed. sometimes, he replaced it with tea, depending on how stressed out he felt. he's been replacing his last cup of joe a lot lately. 

stanley furrowed his eyebrows as he leaned against the door frame. "hey, eddie," he spoke slightly surprised, confusion evident on his face. very rarely did anyone visit the uris house for his parents were quite strict. eddie gave an apologetic smile, knowing stanley really didn't like unexpected company. 

"hey, stan. can i come in?" eddie asked softly. stanley nodded, stepping back to invite the smaller boy into his home. eddie walked in, the immediate smell of pine sole filling his nostrils. "cleaning?" eddie asked shortly, looking back at stanley. 

the jewish boy nodded, leading them into the kitchen where he had two buckets full of cleaning water and an abandoned pair of yellow gloves on the counter. "was," stanley retorted. "coffee?" stan offered. eddie politely shook his head, boosting himself up onto the barstool placed at the kitchen island. 

"so what do i owe this... unexpected surprise?" stanley asked, a small smile on his face as he sat in front of eddie. eddie chewed on his lip, his eyes looking over stanley's face. "i wanted to talk about this weekend," eddie started. he was having an internal battle whether or not to tell stanley about what just happened less than ten minutes ago. 

stanley nodded slowly. "so he told you?" eddie felt taken aback by this. "who told me what?" he asked quickly. did bill express to everyone he was going to do this? if so, why the fuck did no one tell him? 

stanley shook his head in confusion. "haven't you talked to richie?" eddie cleared his throat, his cheeks turing a light pink. "sorta..not really. he came over last night but-" stanley cut him off, his eyebrows creased. "ew, i don't need any more information on that, eddie." eddie blushed a bright red as he sat up straighter. 

"no! no, it wasn't- it wasn't like that. i was just really tired and i guess... richie didn't feel like spilling the beans." stanley slumped in his chair, glaring down at his cooling coffee. "fuck," he cursed lightly, aggravation evident in his voice. "what?" eddie asked, his voice wavering. 

stanley rubbed a hand over his face, "so he really didn't tell you anything?" eddie shook his head, his heart increasing in speed. "tell me what? what did he say to you?" stanley shook his head again as he got up, walking over to the sink. "he didn't tell me anything... nothing i didn't already know anyway." eddie's heart leaped into his throat. "h-he told you about us?" 

eddie asked timidly. stanley tuned around his face looking indifferent. "he didn't need to tell me." it was eddie's turn to shake his head as he watched stanley stand against the counter. "what do you mean?" stanley stopped for a second, looking up at the ceiling. "fuck him for making me do this." eddie was getting antsy at this point, ready to rip stans throat out if he didn't just fucking tell him what was going on. 

"he didn't need to tell me because," taking another deep breath he looked back at eddie, his face and voice softening. "i already knew richie before last tuesday." eddie furrowed his eyebrows. though the younger one was surprised, he didn't understand why that so bad. "okay..." eddie trailed off, hoping stanley had more than just this. stanley sighed again, rubbing his palms against his eyes. 

"i knew him as in... _knew _him, knew him. we," stanley looked back up at eddie, pleading that he got the message across without really saying anything. it was coming clear to eddie what stanley was hinting at, but he wanted to hear him say. he _needed _to hear him say it. "what, stan?" eddie asked more frantic than he had been all day. stanley huffed softly. "we dated. i- he... he was my first ever... anything."

now this, was bad. eddie rubbed his eyes, trying to wrap his brain around the information he was just given. when he came here for some wise words from stan, he didn't think he'd be getting a confession as part of the packaged deal.

actually, he got the wrong package completely because this _not _what he asked for. "i- what are you saying?" eddie shook his head, trying to form the right words. "that richie did the same thing to you that...that he did with all those other kids- what, what he's doing with _me_?"

eddie's words came out breathy and startled, like a scared kid who just ran from something going bump in the night. stan instantly shook his head, coming to stand in front of eddie like before, his face worried. "no! no, he never took advantage of me or made me do things i didn't want to. i knew him before he was friends with bowers. i broke it off because i didn't want to get mixed into that crowd, i-" eddie looked up at stanley, his heart thumping so hard he though he might have a heart attack.

"i was just scared, eddie. you have to understand that. being with a boy in 1988? that would have never been excepted. fuck, it still isn't." eddie wasn't mad that stanley and richie already knew each other, he felt betrayed that they both had more than enough time, especially richie to tell him about old skeletons in the closet. literally. 

eddie shook his head, his brain being clouded with nothing but pure anger. "i need to go," he said, abruptly standing up, his chair making an awful squeal as he pushed it away from the counter. "don't go eddie, just let me explain" eddie turned his head before opening the door, "i think someone else needs to explain too." 

he left with a slam to the front door, his vision somewhat blurry with unshed tears. he gripped his bike handles roughly, his legs moving faster than they ever had on his bike. richie lived on the other side of town, away from stan and himself, so getting there was a workout but he didn't even notice the burn in his legs till he came to a screeching halt outside the tozier residence. 

getting off his bike, his thighs felt like jelly, but it wasn't enough to stop him as he stomped to the front door, banging his hand on it three times as he did with stanley's. he vaguely noticed the two other cars in the driveway where he left his bike on its side, but it didn't register that it was in fact richie's parent's cars and not just random vehicles deciding to make a home in the tozier family driveway. 

richie opened the door, wearing the same attire he did at school, the only difference was he had glasses perched on his nose. in any other situation, eddie would have melted at the sight because they really did give him such an innocent look, but right now, all eddie could think about was smacking him in the face till they fell off. 

richie smiled, ready to happily invited eddie in until he saw the look on the shorter ones face and his smile instantly fell. "eddie are you-" eddie cut him off with a finger to his chest. "you," he accused hostility, pressing his finger harder to richie's chest cavity. "you, have some explaining to do richie tozier." richie's eyes widen comically behind his glasses. though they weren't half as bad as the old glasses used to be, they still had magnetism to them, making his eyes look bigger than they were. 

in any other situation, eddie would have giggled at how big his eyes were but this was not the laughing time. richie nodded slowly opening his door wider for eddie to walk in. "okay, okay. let's go up to my room and we can-" "no!" eddie suddenly said, stepping further into his house. "we're talking right here," richie looked back, his thumb pointing over his shoulder. "in front of my parents?" he asked questioningly. 

eddie suddenly realized that he and richie weren't alone and he probably looked like a raging lunatic, storming into a complete stranger's house, just to yell at their son. his parents watched from ten feet away while eddie flushed some as he looked behind richie, raising an awkward hand as he waved, looking at the faces of the amused parents.

maggie smiled as she waved back, wentworth tipping his head in acknowledgment. "it's good to see you again, hon." eddie smiled awkwardly before richie took his hand, leading him up to his room. 

the anger quickly returned when richie shut his bedroom door as eddie stood, his arms over his chest. richie sat on his bed, waiting for eddie to come with him. "come sit down." if eddie wouldn't have been so determined to get to the point, he would have spat out a nasty remark. "i'm good here, thanks. now spill." richie sighed softly but let him go while he moved back to the edge of the bed. 

"i'm not sure exactly what i'm supposed to 'spill' here ed's. you gotta give me something to work with." eddie rubbed his temples, his brain struggling to form civil words as he spoke again, "you and stanley. now." richie groaned, throwing his head in his hands. "god, eddie. you have to know i was going to tell you. i told him i was going to tell you. what did he say?" richie asked. eddie shook his head, "i want to hear it from you," eddie replied shortly. 

richie huffed, letting his head hang between his shoulders before he looked back up. "we dated. the summer before eighth grade. i...i don't even know if you would call if dating. it was more of an," "experiment?" eddie shot hatefully. richie looked at eddie quickly. "i'm not like that anymore, eddie. you know that."

"do i?" eddie asked, his voice cracking. "because from what i see, you lied and you keep lying and you have no trouble keeping secrets from me, hell my own best friends have no trouble keeping secrets from me! what i see is you sneaking into my room every night to kiss me but then not telling me how you actually feel, when i ask while i, am being ripped apart piece by piece, waiting for you to come around like some knight in fucking shining armor to save me from myself because no matter how hard i tell myself i don't want you, i do!" 

richie stood up, making his way toward eddie before he was stopped, eddie holding out a hand stilling him in his place. "how can you date my best friend but not me?" eddie asked, his voice full of regret and sadness, his eyes overwhelmed with tears as they fell silently against his cheeks. "am i not good enough for you? has this all been apart of a sick little game? was stan apart of that?" 

richie shook his head, his own tears threatening to spill as he ignored eddie's pleas to stay back, engulfing him in a bear crushing hug. "you think you're not good enough? god, eddie you're a fucking angel. it was never a game with you. ever. you think i don't care about you? like i don't want to parade you off like some kind of model show? you're so fucking wrong. the only reason i never brought it up was because i _never_, wanted you to feel pressured to be with me," richie pulled back, cupping the smaller one's cheeks in his hands, keeping his head in place so he didn't look away. 

"you're so good, eddie kaspbrak, and if you think for a second you're not good enough then i wasn't doing my job right of telling you how much you are." their noses bumped together as eddie's breath got caught in his throat.

"stanley was never apart of that either. stanley was before everything. we have a past but that's exactly what it is. a past. i've never felt the way i feel for you about him. you're the one i want eddie kaspbrak. label and all." 

a silent gasp fell from eddie's lips as more silent tears fell from his eyes. taking in another breath, eddie surged forward, connecting their lips in a warm, sweet kiss, one they never had with each other before. it was passionate and full of emotion as their lips meshed together, both of their tears mixed in with it. 

eddie wrapped his arms around richie's waist, pulling him in closer, wanting nothing more than to just feel skin on skin contact. richie had no problem returning the silent plea. 

they pulled away once they both started losing their breaths, though their foreheads stayed touching, warmth licking the inside of eddie's heart while richie's grew two sizes too big, feeling like he might combust if eddie tried to leave. 

"label and all?" eddie whispered softly. it really wasn't the three words eddie really wanted to say, it sufficed for now. even though eddie did want richie to be his boyfriend, the words the older one spoke the night before were still true. what they had was for each other and no one else. if they were going to put a label on it, it was going to be because they wanted to. 

richie nodded and smiled, connecting their lips to another heartwarming kiss. "label and all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know everyone is feeling it for big bill but it'll all work out. i can't write bad endings, my heart won't let me.


	19. eighteen

_third_

_ **october 8, 1991 ** _  
  


"a fair? really?" eddie asked slightly unimpressed. richie looked up from his (eddie's) math homework, stilling his fingers' erratic beats against the table. he gave eddie a pointed look. "yes. it'll be fun! what's a better way to come out of the closet to derry's finest citizens than during the fall fundraiser." eddie narrowed his eyes, closing his health book. 

"richie. it's like fifty degrees outside and the middle of october. i'm not going to some silly fundraiser when we can go to a quiet restaurant, have just as much exposer, and be _warm_." richie thought for a second then smirked. "dinner and the fundraiser." 

"no." eddie shook his head. "it's not even the middle of october yet. " richie pointed out. "not the point. answers' still no," eddie said, crossing his arms. "please-" richie tried but quickly got cut off. 

"no, richie! if you want this date then we are staying warm. take me during the summer and we'll call it remake of date number one." to richie, they've already been on two dates, but to eddie, they weren't official yet so they weren't dates. 

richie bit his lip and looked back down at the paper a small murmur coming from his lips. "i can think of other ways of staying warm."

eddie threw his health book at richie's head, though his aim was off so it hit him straight in the chest. "beep beep, asshole!" richie laughed, picking the textbook off the ground, laying it back on the table. "fine, fine. how 'bout this. we go by ourselves for an hour maybe two, then we invite your friends and it'll be like.. a hexagon date." 

eddie furrowed his eyebrows, leaning back into his chair. "you mean a heptagon?" richie looked up again, confused. "what did i say?" eddie's face softened as he giggled. "a hexagon. that's a ten-sided shape you doof." richie shrugged shortly smiling at the sound of eddie's laugh. "the more people, the more fun." 

eddie felt elated when richie said this, his insides warming at the thought of richie finally getting used to his friends. it only took a couple more seconds to realize the hidden sexual undertones before he was tossing a paper ball, this time successfully hitting the taller boys' head. 

'

richie walked behind eddie, both of their lunch trays in his hands. eddie insisted he could carry it, even with his textbooks as he's done it hundreds of times before, but richie took his tray anyway. eddie slowed down when they got closer to his table, nervousness bubbling in his belly.

richie normally sat across the cafeteria but eddie invited him over a while ago. today happened to be the day richie took eddie up on his offer. eddie glanced at bill who was already looking at him. eddie look away when his cheeks flushed, stopping his stride completely.

richie bounced against the smaller boys' back, not noticing that he stopped walking. "woah, what are you doing?" he asked, steadying himself. eddie shook his head, looking up at richie. "you ask them." richie furrowed his eyebrows then quickly his shook own head. 

"no, they're your friends. you ask them." eddie groaned softly then continued walking. they quietly bickered the rest of the way to the table until ben interrupted their hushed argument. "hey, richie! long time no see." ben smiled. richie gave a small smile back. "i know, a week is a long time eh, benny boy?" the pair took the two seats closest to the end, sitting next to each other. 

eddie scoffed softly, "what am i, chopped liver?" ben smiled sheepishly. "sorry, eddie but i see you every day." eddie gaped his mouth, looking over at richie. richie smirked slyly, taking a messy bite of his burger. 

the rest of the lunch table arrived, stanley sitting in front of richie and bev beside bill. eddie casted his eyes down to his macaroni and cheese, finding the dry pasta a great deal more interesting than what was going on around him. 

richie nudged his elbow, taking note in the silence. eddie smiled reassuringly then glanced bill's way, feeling his hard stare pierce into the side of his face. eddie knew he would have to talk to his friend sometime but he originally thought they were avoiding each other. 

biology was a tough pill to swallow this morning. eddie sat at their normal table, waiting for bill to come in but he never did. instead of changing seats for the day, he just skipped the class completely. eddie initially thought he didn't come to school until he walked into their shared english class early just to see bill already at his seat staring down at his desk. 

eddie didn't say anything either and instead pulled out their latest poetry book, this semester being beowulf. he suddenly felt an arm embracing his shoulders, startling him enough to fling a macaroni noddle. 

"eds and i here," richie started, making everyone's attention go on them. "have a date this saturday. we're going to fair," eddie's eyes widen as he tried to shrink down in his seat, only to have richie keep him in place with his arm. "and we want all of you to join." okay, so maybe eddie should have just did it himself because this is _not _how he would've put it. 

his cheeks burned bright red as he contemplated just smacking his head off the lunchroom table. "finally," beverly mused, a bright smile on her face. "wait," ben interjected quickly surprised laced in his voice. he seemed to be the only one out of the group to not expect this. "you guys are together?" he asked in a more hushed tone. 

richie's eyes widen slightly, realizing his mistake as he pulled his arm off of eddie. "well, i wouldn't call it-" he stopped to look down at eddie who slammed his face into his hands. "i mean its a heptagon date! we're just going early and then you guys will meet us there,"

ben shook his head, still very confused. "so is this normal hangout or is it a date?" richie looked down at eddie again ready to answer before he was beaten to it. "it's a date for us," eddie looked feeling all eyes on them. "but you're welcome to join." 

he met bills' eyes for a brief second, only to see that they burned bright with betrayal and regret. maybe ben wasn't the only one caught off guard. eddie sat up more form his slouched posture, stammering over his words. "well i-i.. it's not an official date! you guys'll be there. like richie said, a heptagon date." 

the quick screech of one of the chairs got everyone's attention to the noise. bill got up abruptly, leaving the table without any explanation. eddie shot a quick glance at richie before pushing his arm off his shoulders and making his exit as well. eddie heard the faint call of his name and knew he only had meer minutes before richie was hot on his trail. 

he jogged down the empty hallways, trying desperately to find bill, his heart thumping quickly. the hallways were fairly empty besides a few loiters'. he debated on asking them if they saw bill, but decided against it knowing that they would probably steer him the wrong way anyway. 

a sudden idea popped into his head and he began sprinting down the hallway, ignoring the patter of richies beat-up shoes coming near him. 

there was only one place he could think of if he really wanted to find bill. he sprinted down the east wing, ducking under the doors that had occupied teachers teaching class, not wanting to get caught running. he opened a supply closet door that inside had more stairs. 

he went up the stairs, his legs burning and his heart pumping harshly. he got to a door that had a big red sign reading_ 'emergency only exit'_ and pushed it open, the cold air instantly hitting his face and biting at his nose. he walked onto the roof the school building, seeing bill sitting on the edge, his head between his shoulders. 

eddie could hear the small cries from the other boy and his heart began to break. he took slow steps, jumping when the door slammed shut behind him. "bill?" he asked warily. "go away, eddie." bill mumbled, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. eddie sat on the edge next to him, setting a cautious hand on bill's shoulder. 

bill shrugged it off quickly, turning his face away from eddie. "bill, please." eddie pleaded, his own tears threatening to fall. eddie could've screamed. he hated crying, especially when he was supposed to be the strong one. "bill, i-... i'm sorry, i should've told you," eddie spoke his voice breaking. 

bill looked at him, wiping under his nose with his jacket sleeve, eyes rimmed red. "is that why you didn't k-kiss me?" eddie looked down guiltily. "we weren't together then, i just... i couldn't do it." bill let out a sad scoff. "we-we've been through everything t-together eddie. w-why him?" 

he looked up again, wracking his brain to give bill an answer that would satisfy his breaking heart, but knew there would be nothing to ease the pain. "i've always loved you bill, just not in the way you need me to. don't let this change anything between us. you're still my best friend." eddie spoke softly, moving closer to clutch bills' cold hand. 

bill didn't move away this time and instead leaned in closer to eddie so their shoulders were touching. "i've loved you for years, eddie." he admitted quietly. eddie inhaled a sharp breath, his chest shaking violently. he clutched his eyes shut, willing back the welling tears in his eyes. 

"you're going to find someone so perfect for you, bill." bill humphed softly, clutching eddies' hand harder. "i always thought y-you would b-be that someone. i just never h-had the balls to ask y-you out." eddie shook his head, looking at bills' profile. "i think you're so brave," he whispered softly. 

bill looked back at him, his blue eyes glimmering. he looked down at eddie's lips before back up at his eyes. "eddie," eddie didn't think before pressing forward, lacing their lips together in a warm kiss. bill reached up and cupped eddie's face, his cold fingertips creating goosebumps on the splotchy skin. they stayed pressed together for another few minutes, eddie staying mostly passive throughout it.

pulling away, eddie gave bill a small smile. "now you can say you had me once," bill laughed at the narcissistic joke, nodding his head. he stayed quiet, looking out over the city. "between us?" bill asked quietly, referencing to the kiss that just happened.

eddie looked over at bill. "i didn't tell anyone about the first one." eddie knew he was going to have to tell richie and he only hoped the older one would understand.

bill smiled, looking down at his lap. "i wish i could s-say the s-same." eddie's eyes widen. "what? who'd you tell?" bill looked up sheepishly. "stan," eddie scoffed softly. that should have been obvious. 

"can i be honest?" bill asked again after another few minutes of silence. "always," eddie encouraged. bill bit his lip, side-eyeing eddie. "that kiss was underwhelming." eddie gasped, genuinely surprised. "what? really?" bill laughed softly, not meeting his eye. "yeah... i'm sorry." 

eddie looked away, "i don't think my pride should be hurt this much." they both laughed, spending a few more minutes on the cold concrete siding before eddie complained he was too cold and his fingers were becoming numb

they walked over to the door, bill pulling on the door handle only to stumble back. eddie furrowed his eyebrows. "didn't it open?" bill, looking just as confused shook his head, moving his attention to the bottom of the door. his eyes widen as he looked at eddie."y-you didn't put the door s-stopper back?" 

"door stopper?" 

_ **PLEASE read end notes ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * firstly, i have a new story coming out at the middle/end of february called OCD and it'll be another reddie story with IT 2017 characters again, but only like a year older than they were in the movie. 
> 
> so when that comes out, i hope you'll read it! 
> 
> * i'm making some changes to this story in the earlier chapters. i'm also adding timestamps to the beginning of every chapter now so it makes the timeline a little easier to follow. 
> 
> i'm not saying go back and re-read the early chapters, i'm just saying there are changes. 
> 
> and the dates are little off from how it was actually set in 1991, but i had to work it in with the storyline. 
> 
> * if anybody is worried about bill and eddie, don't be. also, stenbrough....(?)
> 
> *comments are always valued and appreciated. i love seeing everyone's' reactions and it honestly helps me decide future chapters. 
> 
> much, much love < 3 
> 
> lastly a lil self-promo but feel free to follow my reddie insta : softloser_reddie


	20. nineteen

_third _

_ **october 11, 1991** _

richie sat on eddies' bed, watching him go through his closet just to pick out and put back outfits. "it's the fair, eddie. not a red carpet award." richie said fondly, leaning back on his elbows to watch eddie put on his own little unknowing fashion show for him. 

richie could hear eddie roll his eyes by the tone of voice. "i know that, richie. that's not the point," he set down a hanger to look at the taller boy, his face softening when he met richie's eyes. he walked over to his bed, climbing on it with his knees as he sat back on his heels in front of richie. 

richie looked up at him and smiled, a hand instantly reaching up to rub the smooth, warm skin of eddie's hip, not surprised when he felt goosebumps prickle under his fingers. eddie leaned back further on his heels so he had a better shot of richie's face, his cheeks tinting pink under the stare. "it's our first official date out in _public_, public. this is a really big deal for me, i mean," he glanced at his door then back at richies' face. 

"if my mom finds out? i'm quarantined in here for the rest of my life." he was partially joking, but there was an underlying truth to those words that richie believed. "i want to make it worth something, ya' know? especially if i get caught in the end." richie squeezed the small amount of pudge on eddie's hip lovingly. "i'll make a good date eds, i promise. are your friends coming?" 

eddie felt the need to correct him and say _our_, but he bit his tongue. eddie thought about bill and the two dirty little secrets they shared together. he knew he would have to tell richie eventually but he didn't want to tell him now, especially when there's so much at stake.

he smiled uneasily "uh, yeah... yeah i think so, around seven. that gives us two hours." eddie answered. 

richie hummed in response and eddie pressed a chaste kiss to richie's cheek. "i have to pick up my clothes or they'll start to think i don't love them," richie smiled as he watched eddie bend down to pick up all the thrown stuff around his room, hanging them neatly back on their hangers. 

'

richie threw and failed once again at hitting the stubborn dart against the ballon. the carnie smiled knowingly as he glanced at eddie, his over-sized ballon hat sitting neatly on his head. richie groaned loudly, slamming his hand on the counter in front of him, his eyes narrowing. "this shit is rigged," 

eddie laughed softly, setting a hand on richie's arm, his heart fluttering fondly. "you don't have to win me the big stuffed animal richie. i'm happy with the little donut." to make his point, he hugged the plush donut against his face, his lip jutting out as he smiled. 

richie shook his head, looking back at the worker. "fuck no. i'm winning you that fucking tiger." "only twenty-five more cents to play again," the male encouraged. when richie threw down the coin, the carney smiled at eddie this time, sending a wink his way. "overpriced bullshit," richie mumbled hatefully. 

eddie blushed brightly, moving his attention to richie's hand, watching him flick his wrist. he hit one but missed the second one. "i swear to god-" he looked at the employee, annoyance and rising anger evident on his face. "if i find out this shit is fucking rigged, your hat will be the next thing to pop."

eddie took a step closer, placing a more demanding hand on richie's arm, pulling his attention away from the poor carnival worker. richie's skin was hot under eddie's hand, but he ignored it as he sent the carnie an apologetic smile. "why don't you let me try?" richie looked at him confused, setting down the last dart. "why would you try and win your own stuffed animal?" 

eddie shrugged. "why not? i'm independent." richie rolled his eyes. "i didn't say that you weren't-" "so then give me the dart." eddie looked at him expectantly, holding out his free hand. richie sighed softly, handing it over. he crossed his arms over his chest, stepping back so eddie could take his place. 

he watched closely as eddie stood on his tippy-toes a small smirk landing on his lips. "it'll be a good try eds but i highly doubt-" eddie threw the dart at the smallest ballon, watching with glee and pride as it popped. richie stood, mouth agape as the carnie whistled, pulling the over-sized tiger off of the cart. 

"boy do you got an eye on ya'," he handed over the animal to a smiling eddie as he looked back at richie. "remind me to never piss him off. you guys enjoy the rest of your night." richie stepped forward to eddie, his face still in mild shock, but a smile was placed on his lips. 

"thank you," eddie answered knowing richie wasn't going to respond. "how the fuck did you do that?" richie asked gripping eddie by his coat and pulling him closer. eddie smiled, looking down at his prize. "we used to have a dartboard at my house before my dad left. he taught me how to use darts." eddie shrugged. 

richie smiled wider taking eddie under his shoulder while they began walking away. "you amaze me in everything you do, eddie kaspbrak." eddie flushed softly, looking down at his shoes while they walked. 

when they stopped in front of the cotton candy machine, eddie turned to richie, his hand petting over the soft fur of the tiger. "hey rich?" richie looked at eddie after paying, his eyebrows creased. "hm?" eddie looked down at the stuffed animal then back at richie. he handed over the tiger, a small smile on his lips. "i want to give you this." 

richie looked down at his prize then shook his head. "why would you want to do that? you won it," eddie nodded his head, looking down at his sweet animal. "i know, but you get me stuff all the time. i finally have something i can give to you. think of it as if it was my plan all along." 

richie chuckled before taking the tiger in his own arms. "i'll name him little eds." eddie shook his head quickly, taking the paper cone from the worker. "please don't," richie looked up, mock offense on his face. "why not? eds is a perfect name." eddie rolled his eyes, taking back his stuffed donut. 

"fine, then i'll name mine little dickhead. short for richie." richie gasped this time, "okay, now that's just rude." eddie laughed, following alongside richie, their arms pressed together. "change your animals' name and i'll change mine." richie shook his head quickly. 

"what? no! animals are supposed to be named, not fucking food." eddie shrugged. "guess we both have names then," richie opened his mouth to respond only to get cut off by the sound of eddie's name in the air. 

"eddie! there they are," ben said, walking in front of the other four, a grin on his face. 

they both turned around, richie's face dropping momentarily. "it's been two hours already?" he asked quietly, his voice monotonous. eddie glanced up at him, then back at his friends, a more wary smile gracing his lips. 

"hey, ben." he spoke softly, giving him a small side hug. the rest came shortly after, their greetings short, bill only glancing his way. "we didn't disrupt did we?" bev questioned. eddie shook his head, giving her a hug as well. "no, no. we were actually just planning on going into the funhouse. you guys want to come?" 

"you g-guys are going into the f-funhouse with that massive thing? how mu-much money did you have to s-spend to win him that thing richie?" bill asked. eddie felt his heart skip a beat when bill looked at him and thought he was going to pass out when he started talking to richie. 

richie smiled shortly, shrugging his shoulders, giving eddie a knowing smile. "enough. it's mine though. eddie won it for me," eddie blushed under the multiple stares he got at once, thanking the wind for nipping so hard at his cheeks. 

he turned on his heel and made his way back to richie, shoving his hands into the latters' jacket pockets. "are we going or not?" 

they all walked into the creepy fun house, eddie already getting a small migraine from the bright flashing colors and spinning decorations. bev gripped bens arm, a wide smile on her face as she skipped down the hallway, ben barely being able to keep up. 

he heard stanley laughed loudly when bill got hit with one of the swinging clowns, falling on his ass. eddie gripping richies arm stumbling over his feet as they walked. "this the first day on your new feet eddie?" richie joked, holding the dizzy boy up. "fuck off, richie." 

`

"thanks for tonight, rich. it was really fun." eddie glanced down at his stuffed donut, his chest swelling with warmth. richie shrugged, looking to the side. "eh, it was nothing." he looked back at eddie and smiled, a small sparkling glint in his eye that let eddie know it meant so much more. 

eddie stood on his steps, looking at richie's face, his heart sinking with the realization that the date was over and he would have to tell richie what happened. he took in a sharp breath, willing away the tears that already threatened to spill. 

"i have to tell you something," his voice was small as he looked down at the ground, noticing that he richie were now at eye-level because of the boost from the steps. "you can tell me anything, eds. you know that," eddie left out a breathy, unamused laugh as he shook his head. "yeah? well, i don't think you're going to like this." 

"what are you-" richie was cut off by eddie leaning forward and pressing his lips passionately against richie's', cupping his jaw sweetly. he pulled away after a few seconds, scanning richie's face. "how did that make you feel?" he asked quietly. 

richie laughed softly, looking over eddie's moon-lit face. "like i'm on cloud nine," eddie nodded his head quickly. "that's exactly how i feel, you have to know how much you mean to me when i tell you this." he spoke urgently but kept his voice down. richie scrunched his eyebrows. "what are you talking about, eddie? you're kinda freaking me out here," richie laughed warily. 

eddie closed his eyes, taking in another small breath. it was now or never. "bill and i kissed... twice." richie rose his eyebrows then closed his eyes, shaking his head, "wait, i don't... what are you saying?" 

"it didn't mean anything then and it doesn't mean anything now, you have to understand that." eddie whispered. "it's you, it's always been you." richie shook his head again, confusion and hurt reading his features. "what are you talking about eddie? when you did you kiss him?" 

"he kissed me first... the day i came over and asked you about stan-" richie cut him off, holding up his hand. "you mean the day we made it official?" eddie shook his head. "no! well, yes, but he kissed me before that." 

richie put his hand down, his face still confused. "so, when was the second time?" eddie looked down, the guilt drowning him with shame. "i... a few days ago." eddie admitted quietly.

richie scoffed loudly, taking a step back. "i can not fucking believe this eddie," he spoke loudly, crossing his arms over his chest. "i mean, fuck! i knew denbrough had a thing for you, but i didn't think you liked him back!" 

eddie took a step down the step, his body swimming with fear. "i don't richie! that's what you have to understand. he's my best friend that's all he ever will be. i just needed to help him realize that." richie left out a loud, unamused laugh. "oh, is that it, huh? well, how about i just go kiss stan to make sure the only feelings i have for him are completely platonic," 

eddie took a step back up the wooden stairs, slightly hurt. "that's not the same thing," eddie spoke softly. richie scoffed, taking a step closer. "isn't it?" he looked over eddie's face, his eyes wide with sadness and confusion. he waited for another second for eddie to speak again then sighed when eddie said nothing. 

he took a step backward, ripping the beanie off his head to run a rough hand through his hair. "you're fucked, kaspbrak," richie whispered, his voice breaking. "seriously fucked." richie croaked softly before turning on his heel and walking down the driveway. 

eddie opened his mouth to speak but closed it when richie walked away, tears welling up his eyes as he watched richie speed out his driveway, leaving tire tracks along the way. "fuck!" eddie yelled, kicking over a potted plant on his steps, watching as it broke into pieces against the ground.

"eddie?" eddie turned his head to look at the front door, wiping furiously at his cheeks. 

"yeah, i'm coming." he spoke quickly, jogging up the rest of the steps to his mom. "is everything alright? who was that?" eddie looked back over his shoulder gripping his plush present close to his chest, breathing deeply before looking over at the pressing blue eyes that watched him with worry and confusion. "no one, mom." 


	21. twenty

_eddie_

_ **october 17, 1991** _   
  
  


"i fucked up, bev. i mean really fucked up," i whispered mournfully into the phone. "i shouldn't have done it, i know that, but now bill knows we're just meant to be friends and that's all i wanted in the first place," she hummed softly on the other line, waiting a moment before speaking.

_"talk to him, eddie."_ i sighed softly, glancing behind me. "i've tried, he won't answer my phone calls, he avoids me in school, i-" i pinched the bridge of my nose, forcing any tears that threatened to fall, away. "i don't know what to do. i think he's hanging out with bower's gang again. god, bev, he has me so worried." i croaked.

_"richie is a big boy, eddie. he can take care of himself,"_ she spoke this time with more authority. _"i also know that richie cares a lot about you, even if he does have a funny way of showing it,"_ i shook my head, wiping away the tear on my cheek, taking in a shaky, wet breath before speaking. "but he doesn't. he does it in just the way i know he's doing it for me. i don't think he'll ever forgive me."

beverly sighed softly,_ "you need to give him some time, eddie. how would you feel if you found out he kissed someone else?"_ my heart skipped a beat, thinking back to his words of kissing stanely. "terrible," i admitted. _"okay then,"_ she continued. _"i have no doubt in my mind he still cares about you eddie. he's probably just hurting."_

i slumped against my kitchen wall, laying my head back against the tile. "what should i do, bev? i can't just wait it out." it was quiet before she answered._ "corner him,"_ i furrowed my eyebrows standing straighter. "corner him?" i repeated._ "uh-huh. give him a taste of his own medicine. force him to sit down and listen to you and if he still wants to be mad, he has every right to be because let's be honest, you cheated-"_

"can we not put it that way," i cut in quickly, my frown deepening. _"alright, alright. you... were proving a point to someone else and it backfired. you were honest enough to come clean to him-"_

"yeah, righ after he took me out on a date," i mumbled, the hatred for myself growing even more. she laughed softly. _"eddie, if you expect richie to forgive you, you need to forgive yourself first. you did a shitty thing, but everyone does eventually."_ i opened my mouth to speak again but got cut off by a knock at my door.

"i guess you're right. i have to go, bev. talk to you later?"   
"sure, eddie. remember, corner him! make him listen to you. it's the least he can do," beverly wished me good luck before hanging up the phone. i set the phone back on the wall and walked to my door, a small part of me hoping it was richie coming to let me apologize.

i opened my front door and was met with stanley on the other side, rocking back and forth on his heels. when i opened the door he gave me a small smile. "can i come in?" he asked. nervousness settled in the pit of my stomach as i nodded, opening the door wider.

stanley ever made personal house calls. "eddie? who's at the door?" i looked over at my mom as she flipped through one of her many home decor catalogs, feet propped up on a padded footrest.

"just stanley, mom." she humphed softly but didn't say anymore. i looked back at stanley, giving a small, apologetic smile. i led him upstairs to my room, closing the door after he entered. "house call? this must be important," i joked half-heartedly.

stanley sat on my bed with a small smile. "just checking up. you seemed really down this week," i laughed humorouslessly. "that's an understatement," i mumbled. stanley nodded, understanding. "richie still avoiding you?" he asked when i sat next to him. i nodded my head, glancing at him. "hasn't answered any of my calls," i said softly.

he sighed through his nose, lacing his hands together as he leaned down against his knees. "this about the kiss?" i quickly looked at him, my heart speeding up. "bill told you again?" i asked quickly. his face held a smile before he shook his head. "didn't need to." i scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. he laughed softly. "he did, but he didn't need to."

"then how do you..." i trailed off, waiting for him to answer. he looked back at me before giving me a weak shoulder shrug. "you're not the only one that knew about bill's secret spot." i bit my lip, looking down at my lap. "so you saw?" he let out a long sigh.   
" i did," he confirmed. "i'm a terrible person, aren't i?" i asked.

stanley shook his head, picking up the stuffed donut that was placed in between my pillows. "i don't think so. bill hasn't talked about you in a while. that's a good thing though, right? i'm guessing that was your intention?"

i set my chin on the palm of my hand. "yeah. poor bill's been completely clueless to the death glares he's been getting from richie all week," i giggled sadly, though not actually finding anything funny. it was better than crying.

"so how did you guys end up getting down?" i smiled at the memory. "bill found a fire escape. it was a ten foot drop one we climbed down the ladder. my knee still hurts from the landing." i chuckled. 

we were both quiet, the only noise coming from my over-heated lava lamp. "i just have to ask," stanley breathed suddenly, making my heart race. "yeah?" he sighed. "did you know? i mean, did he make it obvious that he liked you?" i shook my head, moving my eyes down to my feet.

"i had no clue. i mean, henry bowers said something a couple of weeks ago but i thought he was just being a jack-off like always, you know? trying to rile richie up or something. it worked,"

stanley huffed out a small laugh then mirrored my position. "so what are you gonna do? about richie, i mean." he asked looking over at me and i shrugged my shoulders. "i don't know," i admitted. "what would you do if that person you loved kissed someone else?" stanley was quiet for a moment.

"you love him?" my eyes widened in realization as i sat up. i opened my mouth to speak but the words got caught in my throat.

love, a word that i've always had the concept of on paper but never had the first-hand experience to say i knew what it meant. i never believed in fairytales because honestly, who did? maybe the naive, young girls and boys who weren't handed the one-way ticket to shitsville their whole life like i was.

i can't say the same for richie, because i don't know his past, but i know his present and i know mine. it only took me a moment to realize that a part of his past was sitting right next to me. i looked at stan, my voice small when i asked, "did you love him?"

he seemed a little surprised by the question. "i did... but not in the way that you think. i loved him for helping me realize who i am. i'll always be grateful to him for that."

"who are you?" i asked softly. he shrugged, taking a moment before answering. "i'm me. an openly, closeted gay teenager." i laughed, shaking my head. "that doesn't even make sense," stanley laughed too.

"maybe not, but it's true." i hummed softly in response. "what do you think i should do?" stanley looked at me before throwing the plush donut into my lap, a knowing look on his face.

"you tell him the truth eddie," confusion clouded my brain as i picked up the donut then my eyes widened as the realization hit me._"oh,"_ i whispered. i stood up abruptly, the small toy still held in my tight grip. "stan, i have to go. can you let your self out?" he nodded, a smile on his face. "go get 'em tiger."

i huffed out a small laughed and left my bedroom, bounding down the steps passing by my mother in hasty pace, ignoring her calls as i slammed the front door behind me. the bike ride to richie's house was a fast and unthought out one. my mind was clouded with the thought of one thing and one thing only. i'm in love with richie tozier.

i abonded my bike at the bottom of the pathway, not leaning it up against the house like i normally did and made a timid walk up to the front door. i could feel my heart beating in my throat as i knocked my knuckles agianst the front door, hoping, praying that richie wasn't the one that answered.

i was surprised to see it was actually wentworth that opened the door and not maggie. i gave him a small smile. "is he here?" i asked out of breath. it was a stupid question in hindsight considering the awfully bright red car in the driveway but i needed confirmation. he nodded, tipping his head toward the stairs, opening the door further for me to walk in.

"thank you," i mumbled as i sprinted past him and up the stairs. i took confident strides towards richies' door, raising my fist to knock only to bring it right back down. i bit down on my lip, looking at the all-white door, knowing what awaited me on the other side.

"fuck kaspbrak," i mumbled, patting my cheeks. "you can do this. it's just telling the only person you've ever loved you love them, right? this is nothing, this is-" i stared wide-eyed at the door for another couple of seconds before taking my knuckles over it lightly.

it was quiet at first, the only sounds coming from my beating heart. i jumped when he finally spoke, my pulse quicken from hearing his voice in almost two weeks. "go away, dad." i sucked in a sharp breath and knocked again, listening to his light footsteps to the door. "i said go- oh,"

i gasped softly, taking in his appearance.

richie rolled his puffy eyes when he opened his bedroom door but stepped back anyway, leaving enough space for me to walk in. he turned on his heel, walking deeper into his bedroom. my chest swelled when i saw stuffed tiger sitting proudly on his bed near his pillow.

"i don't want to talk to you right now eddie-"

"i love you." richie stopped in his tracks and waited a few seconds before turning around. "what?" he asked softly, his big brown eyes wide with shock.

"i love you, richie tozier." i breathed again, choking back tears as i stood in his doorway, helplessly clutching the stupid, fucking stuffed donut. he crossed his arms over his chest, shoulders slouching slightly. "don't say shit you don't mean, eddie."

i shook my head, my voice wavering. "i've never been more serious about anything in my entire life," i took a step closer, "i love you with everything i have richie tozier and i want everyone to know. i want to go on dates with you to fair and hold hands and kiss on the top of ferris wheel and win stupid fucking overpriced prizes that even if i don't show it, i care about so fucking much. i want to go to school and hold hands with you in the hallways when _all _of the kids' are there,

"i want to tell my mom and risk being thrown out before hitting then eleventh grade and i want to let the whole town of derry know even if that risks being beaten the fuck out of every single day by henry bowers. i'll travel the world with you if that's what you'd rather do then go to college if it means i get to know everything about you, spending every breathing moment; with you.

"these past two months have been the best two months of my life and i know people say you can't fall in love in such a short amount of time but they don't know us. you've brought so much light into my world, richie, you have to know that. it's you. it's always going to be you. even if you don't forgive me right now, even if you s-say you don't love me back, i do, okay? i love you."

i sucked in a watery breath, tears falling freely down over my cheeks and onto the front of my shirt. "say something richie," i whispered hopelessly. he blinked before charging straight at me, barreling me into his chest as he lifted me up by my waist, spinning me around. "fuck you, eddie kaspbrak. fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,"

"what?" i asked softly, a small 'oof' coming from my mouth as my back hit the wall. richie didn't answer and instead pressed greedy lips against mine, tears mixing with spit and snot as he held my cheeks, my hands tangling in his mess of hair.

he pulled away, palming at my face as his eyes scanned my cheeks then my lips, his thumb grazing over my bottom lip fondly before his eyes came back to mine. "fuck you for making me love you too," i let out a laugh while choking back a sob as i pulled his face back down to mine, pressing our lips together again, this time with more force and lust, only pulling away when we both struggled to breath.

he leaned his forehead against mine, the winter-breeze scent of his breath hitting my lips, making my tummy flip and my knees quiver, making me silently grateful he was holding me up. after a few more seconds of silence, richie asked, "do we really have to tell your mom?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. twenty-one

_third_

_ **october 26, 1991 ** _

"you know telling her might be the end of us, right?" richie asked, nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel of his annoyingly brightly colored car. eddie sighed softly looking at his front door, knowing the impending doom that waited on the other side. on a normal day, eddie would have never let richie pull into his driveway in fear of his mother seeing but today wasn't normal. it was far from it. "i know," eddie admitted quietly. 

he reached his hand over the gear shift to grip richie's arm, giving it his own nervous squeeze. "she won't keep us apart, rich. baby steps. besides, i'm just telling her i'm gay, not that i have a boyfriend," eddie spoke joking, hoping to lighten the mood. 

richie sucked in a small breath. "do you want me to wait out here for you just in case," he trailed softly. 

eddie shook his head, breaking his hard stare from the front door to look at richie, his nerves easing slightly. "no," he whispered faintly. "i don't need to add fuel to the fire if she sees you out here." richie nodded but didn't seem convinced. eddie turned in his seat to face him, gripping his arm tighter until richie looked at him. 

eddie carded soothing fingers through richie's hair, basking in the way richie leaned into the touch. "we're going to be fine, richie. if anything goes south you're only a bike ride away," eddie was surprised when richie pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, his cold nose nudging the side of eddie's neck, not being subtle as inhaled against the clammy skin. 

"i love you," richie whispered softly in his ear. eddie felt his heart speed up and deflate all in the same breath. "i love you too, richie. stop acting like this goodbye," eddie laughed, pulling away, putting on a small smile. 

richie pulled him into a kiss, before ushering him out of the car. "promise you'll come over if anything goes wrong?" eddie gave him a reassuring smile before nodding. "i promise. go home you worrywart," eddie waited until he backed out of the driveway to walk inside of the house, his heart in his throat. 

"eddie?" he heard his mom call from the living room. eddie took in a deep breath and instead of answering, walked into the living room. 

talking about it was the easy part. it always was. eddie knew this was something he had to do, richie was too important to be put on the back burner any longer. it was exhausting for eddie to keep everything a secret. lying was exhausting. eddie wasn't sure what his mother would do but he had a feeling it wouldn't go down well.

eddie sat on the couch beside his mom's chair, his attention straining to whatever brain mushing show she had playing. "where were you?" sonia asked curiously without any bite in her voice. eddie would admit she had been better about him leaving, slowly levitating the leash he was on. "with a friend," he croaked gently, his eyes shifting to his shoes. 

she looked over at him, her eyebrows furrowing. "is everything alright?" she asked shortly. for once, eddie really didn't think she cared. "yeah," eddie croaked gently, pinching the skin on his fingers. 

eddie was proud of himself. for two weeks in a row he's been stepping up to ball-crushing events and getting them done, terrified of the outcome but more worried about what would happen if he didn't. but this- this was the hardest thing he would ever have to do. he shoved his shaking hands into the front pockets of his jeans, swallowing thickly. 

his mother never specified hating gays or being homophobic but she didn't exactly express her love for it either. eddie remembered being little and his uncle coming out at a family function on his dads' side. sonia hadn't said anything on the situation for days until she finally commented on how she was uncomfortable and stopped bringing eddie around him. 

frank tried his damned hardest to convince his mom it wasn't anything that could be rubbed off on eddie like the cold or flu, but sonia wouldn't have any of it. 

"oh, good," she said standing up abruptly grabbing her purse. "i was waiting for you to get home to tell you i have a book meeting tonight, i'll be out later than usual," eddie took in a sharp breath, looking up at her standing form. "i'm gay." she immediately stopped talking, her face falling shocked as her shoulders sagged. eddie nervously stood up, clenching his shaking fingers together. 

the room fell quiet, the only sound, if listened hard enough, was the racing heart of eddie kaspbrak. "i'm gay," he said again when she stared at him, her expression not changing. "i don't," she began speechless. "eddie, how did this happen?" she asked, voice breaking.

eddie scoffed softly, not surprised this was the first thing she said. "you're so dense sometimes, mom." it was her turn to scoff as she took a step back, "dense? eddie, do you realize what you're saying? how did this happen to you?" she asked again, voice more frantic. 

eddie blinked back tears as he swallowed the lump in his throat, inwardly cringing on how his voice began to break. "why are you so willing to chalk everything up to disease or influence when the reality is, this is who i am?" sonia shook her head quickly, setting down her purse to walk up to him. 

"this isn't you, eddie, you know that. was it one of those friends of yours? did they do this to you?" she asked, setting her hands over his cheeks, making his face stay put and their eyes locked together. eddie pushed her chubby fingers away harshly, moving back. 

"no, mom, this isn't just something i woke up one day and decided to be. it's who i am, no one made me do it," eddie spoke, voice going up in octaves. "it's going to be up to you if you accept me or not. either way, i can't change it i just-" 

eddie cut himself off, taking in an aspirated breath, wishing so much he didn't chuck his final inhaler away last month. "i can't keep lying; to you, to me, to everyone. it's so fucking tiring," eddie whimpered softly. sonia took a step back, her face now expressionless as she picked up her purse and car keys. 

he didn't want to, but there was something in him that was crumbling as his mom walked away, even if he admitted to himself or not, he wanted desperately for her to just love him, normally. just accept him, normally. "mom?" he asked softly, watching her leave. "we'll talk about this later," she mumbled monotoned. 

part of eddie wanted to stop her and beg her to listen and just forgive him for being this way but he didn't want to be sorry. he was done being sorry. he waited until he heard her car speed out of the driveway to drop to the floor, clutching his knees to his chest. he didn't know what would happen now, his mom was an unpredictable person who made rash, impulsive decisions, only thinking about the consequences when they affected her. 

eddie wiped furiously at his cheeks, refusing to cry. "fuck," he mumbled softly when silent tears began running down his blotchy face. eventually, he got up and made his way to his bedroom, laying down on the squeaky twin-sized bed. eddie knew that one phone call and richie would be there to hold him and tell him everything would be alright but that most likely wasn't the truth. 

this was something eddie had to go through alone, even though he knew it wasn't going to be easy. he was prepared for the worst. 

eddie knew if it came down to it, his dad would take him in as they already talked about it when he went to visit. eddie just didn't know if he could leave richie like that when the boy had become everything good in his life. 

he reached over and flipped his light switch, ignoring the clock that reminded him it was only six in the evening and pulled one of richie's hoodies from beneath his bed, burrowing his nose in the comforting smell, sleep taking over his body. 

'

_ **october 28, 1991 ** _

"so she's not even talking to you?" bill asked, waiting for eddie at his locker. eddie shook his head, slamming the red door closed. "no, she barely looks at me. i don't regret doing it but i'm honestly a little worried she's just completely shut down." eddie mumbled. bill hummed softly, crossing his arms over his chest. "is richie still mad at me?" 

eddie gave him a sympathetic look. "he's fine. just give it time, he'll talk to you again," bill shrugged. "i hope so. he was really cool," eddie laughed softly, trailing beside him on their way to bio. eddie gave him a side glance, curiosity bubbling in his tummy. eddie was so happy he and bill were friends again and that bill finally understood that's all they were, but eddie couldn't help but wonder how bill did just quit him cold turkey. 

it wasn't that eddie missed bill liking him in that way, especially when for most of their friendship eddie was completely blind to the fact bill had these feelings but, it was still strange. "so," eddie trailed lightly, "this might sound intrusive but... what did make you finally get over me?" bill laughed softly, looking down at his shoes while they walked, his posture becoming shy. 

"wow, eddie. vain much?" eddie smiled, chuckling. "no... chuck it up to curiosity," bill smiled at the floor before shrugging his shoulders. "i don't know. i guess realizing you weren't the only person out there for me. i just didn't know the next person would be so close." eddies' eyes widened and he held the back of his hand out against bills' chest, causing them to stop walking. 

"what- who?" eddie asked excitedly, gripping bills' flannel sleeve. bill shyly glanced at him, tightening the hold on his backpack strings. "i don't know if he wants to be public yet. he's shy about it. i have to respect that," bill mumbled nervously. eddie laughed softly, nudging bills' shoulder. "do you think they would be up for double dates?" 

"no," bill answered quickly before laughing. "that would be so awkward for so many different reasons," they quickened their pace to class when the bell rang. "what, why? i think it would be fun. besides, it would make us like, the gay power group of derry." bill smiled before nodding his head. "i'll try, but i'm not promising anything." 

'

"the gay power group of derry? eddie, are you trying to get your ass kicked?" stanley asked, rummaging through his locker. eddie knew it probably wasn't right to go to stan when bill confided in him, but eddie had no doubt stanley already knew. stanley always knew. 

eddie smiled excitedly, shaking stan's arm. "yes! wouldn't it be fun? you should find someone too then we could officially name it a club." stanley gave eddie a pointed look, gently brushing his hand off. "no, eddie. some people can't just... come out like that. this town should be the definition of homophobia in the dictionary," stanley mumbled, shutting his locker. 

he turned to eddie and sighed softly, "i'm really happy you stood up to your mom and richie doesn't give two shits, but i do and so do my parents." 

eddie sighed softly, backing down from the topic. "you're right, i'm sorry." eddie responded, quickly changing the subject. "i'm honestly surprised bill found another guy so quickly. if anything i would have thought he went to beverly. that must make ben happy," eddie grinned, but it dropped when stanley's posture become uncomfortable.

"hey, are you okay?" eddie asked, quickly. stanley nodded, before shaking his head in confusion, following eddie out of the double-wide doors. "why would you think he'd move onto beverly?" stanley asked, timidly.

eddie shrugged, though he was nervous to respond. "they just seemed to always have chemistry, you know? maybe that's why i never noticed it with me," eddie said, think to his red-headed friend. 

"huh," stan answered shortly. eddie chewed on his lip nervously. he couldn't understand why stanley was being so stand-offish about this. "are you sure you're okay?" before stanley could answer, bill caught up to them, cheeks pink from the harsh wind and out of breath from running. stanley instantly looked away, casting his eyes to the ground. 

"h-hey. do you guys need rides?" bill asked, zipping his jacket up. bill was recently given his dads' old subaru to drive back forth to school because he's had his license for a year. 

eddie figured this was his dads' way of buttering him up because of the separation, but he never asked about since it was still a sensitive topic. eddie shook his head, eyes bouncing between the two of them. "oh, uh, no. richie will be out eventually. i'll just get a ride from him." bill nodded, looking at stanley. 

"stan?" he asked softly. stanley looked up, arms still wrapped around his torso. he glanced at eddie before slowly nodding his head. "sure. see you tomorrow, eddie?" stanley asked, already walking away with bill. eddie gave a small smile and waved, tucking his other hand in his back pocket, confusion clouding his brain. 

was he missing something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi
> 
> new story OCD is out, please, please go check it out. 
> 
> the second chapter will be out tomorrow.  
much much love.


	23. twenty-two

_third . enjoy ;)_

_ **october 31, 1991** _

before richie, eddie never really thought about the concept of dating. it just wasn't something that crossed his mind. it wasn't until now, that eddie realized most people in a relationship will begin to expect more than just innocent close-lipped kissed here and there and the occasional cuddle when one of them sleeps over. 

although richie was more than happy with what he was getting and would never rush eddie into anything the latter wasn't ready for, eddie couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his head telling him he just wasn't giving enough. he also couldn't help but realize how experienced richie was at everything they did. 

if anything went a little further than kissing, richie knew exactly where to touch eddie that had him putty in the older ones' hands in seconds, melting to the touch like butter to a hot pan. 

eddie occasionally wondered if richie missed sex. his cheeks would turn a bright pink when he thought about it for too long, but it was the inevitable. it wasn't a secret - around school especially - that richie slept around before he got hooked on one eddie kaspbrak, but eddie just wasn't sure of his body count.

and honestly, he didn't want to know. 

he also wasn't sure when_ that_ started; richie's sex life. it bothered eddie to think it started with stan, but that was most likely inevitable too- prior to what stanley said before. maybe they didn't go all the way but they did stuff for stan to know for sure he was gay and richie to know he liked boys too.

beverly once told him that he needs to figure himself out before he goes under the blankets with richie and he never understood what that meant until now. 

part of him wanted richie to find out for himself where exactly to touch him that made his legs feel like jelly and had his skin on fire, but eddie didn't know how fair that was when he himself didn't even know what got him going.

one of the very first spots richie found early on was the skin on eddies' hip. richie took pride in how this affected eddie, proof coming from the goosebumps that made an appearance when richie ran his fingers over the soft skin. 

but, other than certain spots on the smaller boy's neck, he didn't really know much about anything lower and he never pressed either. 

eddie wasn't sure if he was thankful or annoyed by this. 

eddie wasn't one for making the first move, but he was easily pursuable once something he was interested in was brought to the table. he wasn't a pushover, that was for certain, but if he wanted something, he'd rather wait until it was offered up first.

it just seemed like it was getting harder every time he was around richie not to go completely submissive and let him do whatever he wanted because that's what he thought about anymore. _all the time. _

eddie tried doing what beverly suggested, figuring out what turned him on, and he even tried masturbating but his mind went right back to richie and how he _knew_ richie could do so much better than he ever could on himself. eddie just didn't understand why richie was being so patient when eddie was ready to jump his bones, especially on nights like tonight. 

it was halloween and richie had invited him over to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters while his parents were out for the night. of course, eddie said yes because it gave him an excuse to dress up. apparently richie didn't take lightly to the spirit of halloween either, causing eddie to almost go faint right at the tozier doorstep when the older boy opened the door.

he dressed up as a pirate, his billowy white top open and flowy in the wind, high-waisted black and red striped pants secured with a belt right under his navel. his captain's hat pushed back all the hair from his face, making the frontal view of his features more prominent than ever. eddie had literally never seen a more sculpted view in his life.

richie smiled a toothy grin, opening the door wider, making it more inviting. eddie gripped his overnight bag tighter, making his knuckles go white. "hello, love. welcome to me planked ship," richie spoke in a rough english accent. 

eddie laughed warily, light on his feet as he walked inside. "you're not dressed yet? the trick-or-treaters always come early," richie spoke, dropping the accent though the excited tone still stayed. eddie nodded slowly, shaking his bag. "yeah, i will. it's in here," he looked over at richie, taking in his appearance again, breath hitching in his throat. 

how the fuck was he supposed to get through all night of him looking like this? 

richie smiled again and walked closer after closing the door, reaching his hand toward eddie's bag. "fashion show?" he asked simply, a suggestive look on his face. eddies' cheeks blushed pink as he moved the bag away. "no, you perv," his words were so different from what was actually going through his head. 

if it were his way and not his anxiety taking control, he would've stripped right there. 

"fine," richie hummed. "what about my costume?" eddies' mouth went dry as he looked richie up and down for the third time that night. "what about it?" he asked nonchalantly. richie smirked, "do you like it?" 

eddie furrowed his eyebrows ever so slightly. was richie fucking with him? "it's-" eddie began, his cloudy brain trying to form the right words so his bitter tongue didn't expose him like it normally did. "it's everything i would have expected from you," eddie was half tempted to reach his hand up and wipe the sweat forming over his brow. 

"good," richie leaned down to press a kiss to eddies' lips when he got side-tracked from the doorbell chiming through the house. he pulled away, giddy. "our first customers," 

eddie smiled to himself as he watched richie prance to his front door and grab the bowl of candy. it was amusing to eddie how excited richie was to give out candy to kids when he was all but dressed as a sex god. 

if eddie wasn't so clouded by lust, he would be melting from adoration with how cute this was, but with his eyes trained to richies' ass and his mind fogging with the thought of what it would look like without those annoyingly accurate pants, it wasn't on his list of things to think about. 

eddie blinked twice before straightening his posture and turning on his heel toward the bathroom. he quickly got changed into the fake blood-stained blue scrubs and put on his white trainers. it was a basic halloween outfit, but he wasn't trying to impress anyone. 

he adjusted the stethoscope around his neck while walking out of the bathroom and heard a small scoff. eddie looked up, stopping his movements. "what?" he trailed slowly. "a bloody nurse, eddie?" richie asked, unimpressed. eddie shrugged his shoulders, "i wasn't buying a brand new uncomfortable outfit to show off to ten-year-olds. can't say the same for some people," eddie quipped though it carried little bite. 

richie crossed his arms. "what's that supposed to mean?" eddie arched an eyebrow, his arms falling back to his sides. "really, rich? sexy pirate wasn't on purpose?" 

a shit-eating grin appeared on richie's face as he moved closer. "sexy pirate?" eddies' eyes widen when he realized his mistake. "shut up," he instantly remarked, his cheeks turning a bright red. once richie reached eddie, he reached down pulling the smaller one into a kiss. eddie stayed pliant, digging his fingers into richie's hair. 

he opened his mouth, inviting richie in only to have air filling in the gap when richie pulled away to answer the door, leaving him red-faced in the entry-way of his house. eddie internally groaned, wanting to stomp his foot and tell richie to just go further. _beg _him to go further. 

he stared bitterly at his back, slowly trailing behind him, picking up the bowl full of candy that was set out for him to give to the kids. instead, he took it into the living and plopped on the couch, setting his feet on the coffee table as he slouched further into the fluffy cushions.

he began resentfully unwrapping candy, tossing the wrappers back in the bowl. 

eddie knew to some extent this was his fault he felt this way. he had no problem letting things slip or opening his mouth any other time, so why was _this _so hard to talk about? eddie popped the piece of chocolate into his mouth, intentionally ignoring richie when he walked in, keeping his eyes trained to the movie on t.v.

"those are for the kids, ya' know?" richie asked teasingly, sitting too close for comfort with how pissed off eddie felt. he didn't answer and picked up another piece, throwing the wrapper back in the bowl again. "eddie," richie scolded, reaching in to fish out the trash. 

richie watched him eat for another few minutes, confused. "do you want me to get you the bag?" he asked, running a soft finger over eddies' cheek. eddie bit down where richie touched, willing himself not to speak, flicking his tongue when he began to taste the metallic flavor of blood. eddie handed over the bowl when the doorbell rang again, still not answering. 

richie sighed softly and stood up, leaving eddie in the living room. eddie breathed out sharply, making a face to himself over the awful taste lingering his mouth. he looked over his shoulder to see richie smiling happily while handing out candy and began to feel guilty. 

it was like the roles were reversed. it seemed ever since they became official all eddie wanted to do was get richie in the sack and all richie wanted to do was settle down and become a domestic, christian, homey couple. 

richie still had charming qualities to him, but his raunchy jokes and oogling eyes backed off like if he stared for too long, he was going to get castrated. eddie, even if he complained when it happened, loved every second of it. it set a fire in his body like never before. 

he rarely ever made suggestive comments and if he did, they were short-lived and cut off before he got to the final punchline. 

even if it wasn't richies' fault everything about him was turning eddie on, it was his fault for not doing something about it. richie came back with the a few bags of candy, setting all of them in eddies' lap. eddie watched him sit down next to him, this time putting more space between them. 

his heart thumped in his chest, nervousness coursing through his veins. eddie was rarely ever nervous around richie. in the early days he was, but not anymore. he figured it had something to do with how richie was dressed and how much desire was just oozing out his pores and how hard it was keeping it contained in his tiny body. 

his leg began to shake as he bounced it up and down, shoving a butterfinger in his mouth, then instantly regretting not taking bites as the sticky toffee got stuck in his teeth. richie was oddly quiet and eddie couldn't figure out if it was to give him space or because he was now pissed off too. 

eddie nonchalantly moved a smidgen closer, setting the candy bags on the floor. he finally looked over at richie who remained expressionless, eyes pressed to the t.v though he obviously wasn't interested. eddie sunk his teeth down into his bottom lip and lifted a finger, slipping it through one of the buttonholes that weren't done up. 

"why'd you even have an outfit like this just to hand out candy?" eddie asked softly, tugging on his shirt, hoping to bring richies' attention down to him. richie looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed. eddie knew he was going through mood swings but he was on overload with his libido right now and it was fucking with every single hormone and thought in his body. 

"it was for a halloween party tonight," richie said slightly sharp. "which i didn't go to because i wanted to be here. with you," eddie flinched ever so slightly at the tone, but knew he deserved it. "i'm sorry," eddie mumbled softly. "i know i was being a bitch earlier. forgive me?" 

richie's face finally softened, a small, half-smile appearing on his face, "i never complimented you on your costume, even if it is lame." eddie rolled his eyes, shoving richie's shoulder when richie laid on top of him, engulfing him with his body. 

"it's cute. especially the person who's wearing it." richie complimented, pressing a loving kiss to eddie's cheek. 

eddie crinkled his nose, slightly offended by the mild compliment. "that's it?" he asked confused. richie looked down at him. "what?" eddie scoffed, sitting up straighter so richie moved off of him. 

"that's it? no, _'you look deliciously ravishing.'_ or _'if i saw you in a hospital like that, i wouldn't think twice about pinning you to the wall and having my way with you.'_? just,_ 'it's cute'_?" he spit the word with a sort of hatred, looking at richie with his arms crossed. 

"what's wrong with the word _'cute'_?" richie asked defensively. eddie wanted to shake his shoulders to get his unspoken words through richies' amazingly thick skull. "it's not what the old richie would have said!" eddie exclaimed, slapping his hands down against his thighs. 

richie laughed a little, finding the sudden outburst, amusing. "_'the old richie'_?" he asked. eddie narrowed his eyes, as he gripped harshly at his scrubs, his nails begging to dig into skin. it was at this moment eddie knew he had two options. tell richie how he felt and what he wanted or to just leave. in his mind, both ended up with him embarrassed or upset. 

so, he went with option three. he leapt up to richie's height, setting all of his weight on his knees, pressing both hands into richies' shoulders until they flopped back on the couch. before words were spoken, eddie pressed his lips to richies' in a fervent, rushed kiss, accidentally clashing their teeth together. 

it felt so good to be in control of the situation that a small moan escaped when it happened, the annoying vibration that was caused when their teeth smacked together was ignored. eddie slipped his tongue past richies' lips, not waiting for richie to catch up or to allow him the entrance. 

richies' hands went straight to eddie's hips, spurring him along faster as eddie lapped over richies' tongue, savoring the flavor. he felt richie begin to pull so he pressed down against his lips harder, trying to get the point across he didn't want stop. 

richie finally got away from the suction, his cheeks a wonderful pink, and lips red coated with eddies' spit. "woah, what's gotten into you?" he asked breathlessly. eddie shook his head, moving closer. "nothing, richie. i want this." richie gave eddies' hip a squeeze, signaling for him to stop. "want what?" 

"i want this," eddie responded again, pressing another kiss to richies' lips. richie kissed back happily, but pulled away again. "you have to tell me eddie," eddie huffed bitterly. "i want _this_." eddie emphasized and a sense of realization crossed richies' face. "eddie, we don't need to move that fast," his words were soft and safe. 

eddie fucking hated that. 

eddie narrowed his eyes at richie in determination. "why are you being so stubborn about this?" richie laughed softly and sat up further on the couch, setting a hand on eddies' cheek. "why are _you _trying to rush this?" eddie huffed in frustration and in one swift movement moved his hand from richies' shoulder down to the seam of his pants, placing his palm flat on the surface of his zipper, richies' dick instantly twitching with interest. 

richie sucked in a sharp breath, watching eddie with pupil blown eyes. "eddie," he said lowly in a warning tone. eddie bit back a smirk and blinked twice up at richie, adding more pressure before slowly moving his hand. richie snatched his wrist, pulling it away from the forming tent. "don't start something you aren't going to be able to finish." he warned.

they both looked at each other eyes locked in a heated stare, neither one worrying about the insistent ringing coming from the doorbell. "who said i wasn't going to finish it?" eddie challenged. richie fell back on his back, letting eddie take over, their mouths pressed in another passionate kiss. 

eddies' fingers fumbled with the buttons on richies' pants, groaning softly, when his shaky fingers couldn't unhinge them. "fuck, how many are there?" he asked, pulling away to look down at what he was doing. richie snickered and reached down, helping him unbutton the two that were left. 

eddie tugged on the beautiful yet taunting shirt, lifting it over richie's head, taking the pirate hat with it. eddie hoped richie didn't take a long time perfecting his outfit because most of it was already in shambles on the floor. 

richie lifted his hips so eddie could tug the pants off his long legs and once they were off, eddie wasted no time pulling off the black breifs now tight against richies' body. his mouth hung open when richies' cock slapped against his stomach, the tip shiny and red. "are you going to do something or just stare at it?" richie asked slowly, but not tauntingly. 

eddie firmly grasped his member, relishing in the feeling. richie inhaled shaply, lifting his hips, eddie's hand so warm and soft against richies' thumping cock. "fuck," he swore softly. 

"wait," he then said quickly, reaching to the coffee table to grab his wallet. he dug around for a second before pulling out a packet of lube, throwing it eddies' direction. he set his wallet carelessly on the floor and eddie picked up the packet. "you keep lube in your wallet?"

richie shrugged. "been in there for ages," he answered shortly. eddie opened the packet, squeezing the substance onto his hand, brushing his fingers down against his palm to warm it before slowly moving his hand up and down over richies' shaft, watching as richie threw his head back against the couch. 

eddie moved his wrist faster when richies' pants became louder and the profanities slipping past his lips became more frequent. "fuck, so good baby," eddie preened at the compliment and smiled, twisting his hand, moving his thumb across the tip experimentally. 

richie let out a loud moan, thrusting up in to eddies' hand. eddie shuffled farther down the couch so he was eye-level to richies' dick. he glanced up the older boy who was already watching him as he peaked the tip of his tongue out, following his hand agonizingly slow down the vein of richies' cock.

richie inhaled sharply, gripping the couch cushions as he watched. 

eddie spurred on, sticking is tongue out further, licking up the side like it was a melting ice cream cone, moaning softly at the thought. richies' hips stuttered and his words became clipped. "i- eddie, i'm going to c-cum." eddie gave a soft kiss to the tip of richies' cock, as his wrist continued to move relentlessly up and down his shaft. 

"fuck," richie swore loudly, thick white ropes, covering part of eddies' chin but most of it landing on his shirt, standing out against the dark blue scrubs. richie was quick to flip them over, and discard eddies' pants and underwear in one swift movement. 

richie worshiped the image below him, blinking a few times just make sure what he was seeing was real. he ran slow hands over eddies' sides and went down further, basking in the fact he was finally able to. he ruthlessly spread eddies' thighs open, sucking in a sharp breath. 

eddie blushed at the sudden intrusion, but stayed calm, turning all of his trust over to richie. 

richie began kissing down over eddies' navel and up his thighs, not asking permission before he began sucking love bites into the soft skin. eddie moaned pathetically, shifting uncomfortably from how heavy his neglected member felt against his stomach. 

richie spit into his hand and took eddies' cock into his palm, jerking him off slowly, as he kissed up eddies' neck whispering sweet words into his ear. "you were so good for me, baby. so fucking pretty," eddie moaned brokenly against richie's shoulder, his eyes seeing stars. 

richie's skillful hand was everything and more of what eddie thought it was going to be. he had no regrets on waiting for this moment. he bit down mercilessly when his thighs' began to twitch, pleasure shooting up his body. his back arched off of the couch as richie sucked another hickey to eddie's neck. 

"cum for me." it took nothing for eddie to release into richies' hand his whole body going tense with pleasure. he scratched down richies' bare back, leaving red welts in their wake. richie collapsed beside eddie, the smaller one moving to make room. 

they breathed heavily into each other's ears, neither one caring about how nude and exposed they were pressing against one another. "i love you," eddie gasped out. richie smiled into eddies' neck. "ditto," 

richie finally looked down at his hand a small gasp escaping. "oh my god." this worried eddie as he picked his head up and looked too. "what?" he then gasped as well. "oh my _god_," he mumbled mortified. his cum was everywhere, leaking off of richies' hand and onto a floor and a hefty puddle was teetering on his stomach. 

"have you-" richie trailed, looking up at eddie. "was that your first time, like, ever?" he asked softly. eddies' cheeks went pink. " i didn't know there was going to be that much," he spoke, still embarrassed. richie laughed softly and stood up, walking quickly to the bathroom. 

he came back with two wet rags, beginning to slowly wipe off the mess from eddies' body, admiring his work on the younger ones' thighs. he then began to snicker softly, setting the dirty rag on top of the clean one. 

"what?" eddie asked. richie laughed harder, laying down next to him, still ignoring the chiming of his doorbell. he tossed a blanket over both of their bodies, wrapping his arm possessively around eddie, nosing along the forming purple bruises on eddies' neck. 

"you came for the first time on my parents' couch." he giggled again against eddies' ear, finding it deliciously funny. eddie elbowed his side, his cheeks stained pink. "stop reminding me." he whined softly. 


	24. twenty-three

_third (it's long but read it. explains shit)_

_ **november 5, 1991 ** _

no words had really been spoken about halloween night between richie and eddie but, there was an obvious shift in their relationship. richie became more touchy-feely while eddie sent daggers through everyone's skull - besides his friends - that talked to richie. their friends noticed the change too. 

they would all share glances with each other while in the middle of a group conversation the two boys would be in their own private one, normally exchanging words with sweet smiles and whispered secrets. eddie would blush a scarlet red when he realized they'd been caught but richie would just smirk to himself.

people around school had begun to notice too. 

this partially gave eddie anxiety, especially when he would feel the burning holes in the side of his head from henry bowers' stare. although richie kept most of those worries at bay.

eddie never got scared when he was with richie, it was only when he was alone. eddie thought he was going to have heart failure when richie told him he couldn't take him home and eddie thought he was going to have to walk. bill came to the rescue fairly quick, offering to drop eddie off. 

richie reluctantly agreed only when he found out stanley was going with them too.

neither of them minded the attention though but it was getting harder and harder to sneak around with eddie's mom. ever since eddie told her about his sexuality, she had been getting more and more suspicious about who exactly eddie was hanging out with.

he stopped using bill as an excuse and would cryptically tell her, _"friends."_ and if she asked who, she was normally ignored and eddie was out of the door before she could say anything else. 

he would sometimes catch her staring at him with sad eyes and disappointed features but when he would look back, she would turn away and not say anything. she barely on speaking terms with him. 

eddie would've rather her just ridiculed him and got it out of them then just be flat out ignored but, he was taking this separation as a blessing in disguise and planned to use it to his advantage. 

eddie was always so curious about how richie's parents felt about everything considering they didn't get into richie's business. when he asked richie, he explained he'd told them at a young age that he liked boys and they just accepted it, not saying much at all. his dad was more okay with it than his mom as she sometimes will still point out girls if they're out in public together. she never made him feel less for it, though.

richie chalked it up to her wanting to have grandbabies one day. 

eddie figured they knew about that two of them at this point if eddie showing up to their front doorstep to declare his love or finding them half-naked underneath blankets on halloween night wasn't enough.

eddie was mortified when he woke up and realized richie's parents were home and they were still undressed on the family couch. he was even more embarrassed when he tried to sneak to the bathroom where he left his overnight bag and came face-to-face with maggie who just smiled sweetly and informed him she moved his stuff into richie's room. 

it was a common occurrence now for eddie to show up at the tozier residence, most of the time richie telling him to use the spare key is so he could let himself in. neither maggie or went minded but he would often find handwritten notes from went on the counter reminding them to use protection. richie thought it was the funniest thing while eddie would blush a bright pink.

it wasn't that eddie didn't love what happened on halloween, because he did and figured richie did too, but it was still a tricky subject. eddie would notice whenever they made out how richie would cup his ass through his jeans or if he was wearing shorts, rub his fingertips on the inner of eddie's thighs where love-bites once resided. 

eddie knew he didn't want to have sex yet but there was still the lingering thought in the back of his head that hoped he didn't flip a switch in richie that made him feel pressured to do it.

eddie was aware this was just his anxiety talking because every time richie did touch him in more intimate places, he would always confirm that eddie was comfortable, something most people probably wouldn't think or care about. 

another thing that was stopping eddie, admitting it to himself or not was the fact that richie had been with stan, his best friend. it was stupid and not something he should be hung up on but, he was. 

he laid on richie's bed, intensely watching the ceiling fan while listening to the faint noises coming from the shower down the hall. he twisted the bottom of his shirt between his fist, narrowing his eyes slightly. why did it have to be stanley? why couldn't it have been anyone else?

another bugging thought brought up that there was other people. he quickly pushed that thought away, deciding to deal with one demon at a time. 

when he and richie were intimate last week, of course he didn't think of his friend, but now when he was by himself in richie's room, thoughts of how stanley had probably been in here before too clouded his brain. it was unfair to anyone involved if feelings got crossed and they weren't completed settled but then there was the bigger question. 

how did they even come to meet?

if what stanley said was true, two years ago would have been the summer leading into ninth grade. weren't they together most of that summer too? if so, how did he sneak around with richie tozier without any of them noticing? probably the same way eddie did, stanley was just a lot more secretive. 

eddie looked over when richie's bedroom door opened and the person with the answers to all his questions walked in. sure, he could ask stanley but this felt like something personal eddie needed to hear from richie himself. 

richie looked over at him, a small smirk playing on his lips as he walked to his dresser. "enjoying the show, eds?" he asked. eddie pulled his eyes away, cheeks burning red when richie unabashedly pulled the towel from his hips, scrounging in his drawers for clothes. 

"you know, you wouldn't have such a hard time finding underwear if you actually kept your drawers neat," eddie quipped. richie hummed softly in response, bouncing on the bed beside the smaller of the two once he was dressed. eddie sat up as richie grabbed a book from his bedside table, shoving his glasses onto his face. 

eddie watched him idly flip through the bent pages to find where they had left off. when he found it, he looked up at eddie before starting the chapter, noticing the mild affliction on eddie's face. "something bothering you, bug?" richie asked. eddie flushed softly at the nickname. it used to be _'ladybug',_ but eddie shut that down immediately so richie opted for _'bug'_ instead. 

he completely gave up on trying to ween richie off the nicknames and just enjoyed the endearment of it. 

"richie, can we talk?" eddie asked softly, pulling at the loose strings of richie's duvet cover. richie nodded, setting down the book and sitting up to pull eddie onto his lap. he brushed a few strands of hair from his face, eyes memorizing the finer details. "we can always talk, eddie. you know that," he began nosing along the vein of eddie's neck, his breath forming goosebumps over the skin. 

"what's on your pretty little mind?"

eddie let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. "stan," richie pulled away, his face puzzled. "stan?" he repeated confused. eddie opened his eyes, "well... you and stan. not just him specifically," richie nodded slowly. "i'm not following," he said, placing his hands lower, setting them firmly over eddie's thighs. 

eddie bit down on his lip, clenching and unclenching his fists nervously. "i want to know how it started richie," 

"eddie," richie groaned softly, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. "please," eddie begged gripping richie's t-shirt. "i'm not gonna like... go all weird afterward. i just," he sighed softly when richie looked back at him. "i have to know. help put my mind at ease, ya' know?" 

"why are you so worried? don't you trust me? us?" eddie shook his head quickly. "god, of course, i do, it's just been on my mind lately." eddie confessed. "he's my best friend and he's such a big part of your past. think of it as i want to know more about you," richie laughed, though it held little emotion. 

"it really bothers you that much?" 

eddie nodded sheepishly. "i just want to know, that's all." richie sighed in defeat, before giving in, nodding his head. "i think we met right after school was let out for the summer, so... june 1989?"   
  
  


_ **june 5, 1989 ** _

_ stanley uris, just shy of fourteen, was on his way out of the town's temple his father, rabbi uris worked at when a boy, around his age - maybe older - came out of nowhere, knocking him on his butt sending his papers flying. the yarmulke placed on his head tumbled from his __hair__ and hit the ground_. 

_"oh fuck, i'm sorry," the male said, standing up too, reaching his hand out for stanley to take. stanley looked up, the sun blocking his view to see who just ran him over with their skateboard. stanley took the offered hand and stood up, brushing off his pants. _

_"this yours?" he asked, picking the yarmulke off the ground. stanley looked over to see richie holding the delicate material, his eyebrow raised. stanley nodded, finally getting a good look at his face. the boy looked completely ridiculous with the helmet on his head with small curls peaking out of the sides. _

_he took the hat from him, brushing off some of the dirt. richie looked up at the building, jabbing his thumb toward it. "you go there?" _

_stanley wasn't shocked by the blunt question and was ready for the insults to come his way as he leaned down to pick up the papers still on the ground. he nodded, standing straight again. "yeah. my dad is the rabbi here," richie nodded, a smile on his face. "cool, i'm richie." _

_stanley nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. "i'm from a few towns over. it's my first summer here," stanley was surprised when hateful words weren't thrown his way and gave a cautious smile back. _

_"stanley uris," he responded shortly, taking the hand that richie held out again, feeling the scrapes and scratches that littered his knuckles. some of them looked old and other ones new. stanley figured falling was one of the ways he got them. _

_richie pulled his hand away when stanley continued to hold it, examining the marks. richie laughed awkwardly and stanley blushed, shifting on his feet. "well, i'll see you around stanley uris." richie smiled again, pushing down on the bottom of his skateboard so it came up. he grabbed it and gave a final farewell before riding off, his unbuttoned, hideously colored shirt blowing in the wind. _

_the next time the two met was a week later when stanley was coming out of the temple once again, richie just missing him as he flew by on his skateboard, jumping on the bench that was outside of the building so he could ride the edge. _

_he landed perfectly and flipped around, his face in a huge grin. "cool, right?" he asked impressed with himself. stanley bit back a smile and shook his head. "if by cool you mean dangerous and reckless, then yeah." he deadpanned, turning on his heel to walk away. _

_"awe, c'mon stanley uris! don't be like that," he called, mounting his skateboard once more to catch up to stanley on the sidewalk. stanley turned his head to look at him, crossing his arms over his chest. "how long have you been waiting out here?" stan asked, trying not to let the other boy know how much this was amusing him. _

_richie shrugged shortly, stopping his ride and stepping off. "longer than i want to admit," he said smiling again. stanley noticed he didn't have a helmet on this time and his wavy hair was wind-blown and standing in different directions. _

_ he began laughing, stopping his stride completely to turn toward richie. richie stopped too, watching stanley as he came closer. "now i know why you always wear a helmet," he said flattening some of the hellish strands. _

_richie pursed his lips into a smile, watching stanley's concentration. "i like your name, by the way." stanley brought his eyes down to richie's, arching his eyebrow. his eyes looked over richie's nose and cheeks, admiring the freckles that tattooed his skin, observing the small indents on the bridge of his nose, revealing the fact that he wore glasses. _

_ he ignored the intrusive way richie was looking at him and took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest again to keep his hands from fixing anything else. _

_"thanks, i think." he responded. richie nodded, the braces on his teeth shining against the sun. "you don't hear that name very often. stanley. just rolls off the tongue," richie complimented._

_ it was such a simple and barely flattering remark but it had stanley chewing on the inside of his lip, trying to push away the butterflies that began fluttering in his stomach. _

_"and," richie continued, "it has potential for other names. like stan the man," stanley's smile instantly fell. "no," he responded. richie smiled even wider and wrapped his arm around stanley's waist, pulling him along. "i think you'll learn to love it." _

_the problem was, stanley already did. _

'

** _august 21, 1989 _ **

_ stanley sat on the log of 'old devil's rock', his normal spot when he went bird watching, now turned into his and richie's spot to get away together. neves clawed up his throat as he nervously picked at the bark on the tree, not flinching when splinters went underneath his nails. _

_about an hour ago, stanley told richie to meet him here around this time. he'd been here since he got off the phone, hoping the trees and fresh air would give him peace of mind or maybe some inpiration. he got nothing. _

_rustling came from behind him, leaves and sticks crunching underneath the feet of someone else. stanley knew it was richie. who else would it be? _

_"hey," he heard suddenly. stanley looked over his shoulder at richie, taking in his appearance. everything about him was changing so rapidly. he didn't even look like richie anymore._

_ a hand was placed over his arm as richie sat down next to him, looking over the trees. "you sounded worried on the phone," richie said, peering over at stanley's tense state and pursed lips. "is everything okay?" stanley shook his head shortly then released a small breath, eyes trained to his shoes. _

_"richie i think we should break up," stanley croaked softly, cursing in his brain for fresh tears already threatening to fall. "what?" richie asked surprised, pulling his hand away from his arm._

_stanley sucked in a shaky breath, finally looking up, tears wetting his cheeks. "we're not right for each other richie. it's getting too risky," richie shook his head, setting warm hands on his cheeks. "don't say that stan. we've been together all summer and no one's found out," he pointed out, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears that kept falling. _

_"no, richie," stanley spit, pulling his face away to look down again, harshly rubbing at his cheeks. "you're not good for me. it's too risky for _ _ me  _ _to be with you. you're not you anymore," richie grabbed stanley's hand, trying to bring his attention back to him. "i'm still me, stanley! i haven't changed," _

_stanley scoffed. "oh, so you hanging out with bowers and his group of goons is what? a phase? an experiment? face it, richie. we're two completely different people, it was never going to work," stanley stood up, ripping his hand free from richie's grip. _

_"stanley don't do this," richie pleaded, standing up next to him. stanley had to look up because richie had grown a good four inches in the last two months. stanley took one last look at richie's face, part of him wanting to reach up and caress his lovers' cheek. "it's for the best, richie." stanley whispered instead, looking away. _

_"stan,'' richie mumbled, reaching for his wrist. stanley glanced up at him and leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, tears mixing in with the final goodbye. stanley pressed a hand on richie's chest, before pulling back. _

_richie let him go, watching as stanley walked out of the forest, richie's heart still in the palm of his hand. _

eddie was now beside richie, head on his shoulder ears attentive to every word he said, drowning in the story of what was once stanley and richie. 

"he left and when school started back up it was like i didn't exist and that summer never happened. not the heartbreak, not the good times. we were strangers." 

"wow," eddie whispered unable to form a real sentence as his brain still processed everything he was given. he still had so many questions ranging from how stan hid it from them for so long to if stanley was richie's first love. the answer was most likely obvious and eddie almost felt wounded with how fond richie sounded when talking about how they first met. 

he kept his bitter feelings at bay though and let richie reminisce on a good time in his life, not daring to take that away from him, even if his heartstrings were strumming to a different tune. 

"maybe it was my fault, ya' know? i think stanley breaking up with me was inevitable, something that was meant to happen. i just it wouldn't have taken me so long to realize why," eddie looked up at him for the first time in that hour to find richie was already looking at him. 

"who knew chasing you would be the answer to all of my questions," richie smirked. 

eddie smiled, hitting his shoulder with the back of his hand. "shut it, trashmouth." 

"it's true," richie continued. "i don't regret anything that happened with stanley because it brought me to you. an angel in disguise,"

eddie blushed and faked gagged, sitting up. "stop going so soft on me tozier. if i didn't know any better i'd think you to be in love with me," richie shrugged shortly. "i'd shout it from the rooftop if it meant i'd get to keep in my pocket for all eternity."   
  
  


'

_**july 4, 1989**_

_"god, stanley. you do this for fun?" richie gumbled, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head, the chilly bite of the early morning nibbling at his skin. stanley smiled and handed him a thermal that contained coffee before sitting on the log on the edge of old devil's rock. _

_richie followed suit, sitting next to him, a yawn escaping his mouth as he set the thermal beside his leg, shoving his hands in the pockets of his black sweat pants. stanley looked over at him, a small smile bruising his lips as he admired how soft and innocent richie looked with his glasses perched on his nose and face paler than normal from being woke up so early. _

_it was five am sharp and richie tozier never got a bed that early for anyone or anything; until now. stanley had convinced him to go bird watching with him and richie being the idiot he was, agreed. he wouldn't have if he realized it was going to be before the sun woke up. _

_stanley began setting up his materials, laying out his variety of bird books. "i never said you had to come. it was just an offer," stanley reminded, amused. richie humphed softly and hooked his chin over stanley's shoulder looking down at everything the younger one laid out. "so what is all this shit?" he asked through another yawn. _

_stanley half-heartedly glared at him over his shoulder. "all this _ _shit_ _, is how i idenitfy the birds. they should start coming out soon." stanley pressed binoculars to his face, waiting for the birds to start chirpping around them. _

_"sounds boring," richie mumbled keeping chin over stanley's shoulder. glancing over he noticed his lips were right in line with stan's jaw and began pressing soft kisses on the skin. _

_he felt stanley shiver from underneath him. "fuck off, richie," stanley muttered though he didn't push him away. richie smiled against the skin but pulled back anyway. _

_the only sounds that came were from the waking up birds and wildlife, chirpping happily as stanley scribbled into his notebook. that was until richie opened his mouth again. "do you think we can fuck under the fireworks tonight?" _   
  
  


'

richie's eyes shot open, the bright world around him fading into the darkness of his room. he let out a heavy breath, pressing his hand against his forehead. his rapidly beating heart was coming to a slow pace, his mind replaying the dream in slow motion. 

richie hadn't thought about that memory in ages and had no doubt he dreamt it up because of all the talk about his past. 

it was then he felt the body of another person pressed against him and his heart spiked with anxiety realizing after it was eddie that was pressed against him, sleeping on richie's pillow instead of his own. 

a small amused smile crossed his lips as he pulled eddie closer, digging his face in the warmth of his neck, inhaling in the comforting scent.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. twenty-four

_third (read the end note) _   
  


** _november 13, 1991 _ **

"what did you bring me out here for again?" richie asked confused as eddie looked expectantly at his red bug. eddie let out an aspirated sigh and traveled around to the driver's side of the car, opening the door. richie watched curiously as he followed closely behind, leaning against the side, his arms crossed over his chest. "what are you doing?" he asked amused when eddie got into the driver's seat and began to initiation fake driving.

it didn't take long for the realization to fall upon richie as he continued to watch eddie move the stiff steering wheel. "eddie," he said slowly. eddie looked up at him with a bright smile and a determined look in his eye. "richie," he said back, excitement laced in his voice. "seriously?" richie groaned softly, his posture deflating.

"you want me to teach you how to drive? in my car?" richie asked slightly paranoid. "yes," eddie breathed excitedly, moving his hands off the steering wheel to grip richie's arm. "we both know my mom will never teach me and it's not like if i accidentally scratch the side it'll make a difference," eddie said, glancing over the beat-up vehicle's dashboard.

richie cleared his throat pointedly and stood up straighter. "uh, i'll have you know my car is in perfect shape, and she's offended you talk about her in such manner." eddie shook his head and got out, running his hand across the hood of the car, holding back a grimace as he wiped the dirt on the side of his pants.

"i'm not shit talking... _her_, i'm just saying. please rich? it'll be fun. who knows? i might just be a natural."   
  
  


'

"jesus, eddie! i said to _tap _the fucking brake don't slam on it!" richie screeched while holding onto the safety handle on the hood of the car while gripping the dashboard. "i'm sorry!" eddie yelled back, biting back fits of laughter. "i never said i did this before," eddie defended. richie scoffed, pulling at the seat belt on his neck. eddie found it silently hilarious that he was wearing one when he never has before.

for richie's sake, eddie pulled over and put the car in park, letting the older one catch his breath before they had to go to the corner pharmacy and get _him _an inhaler.

"oh, but weren't you the one that said,_ 'oh, c'mon richie, it'll be fun. i might be natural, i won't suck your dick for it, but it'll be fun!' "_ richie retorted in a high-pitched, girly voice. "i never said i wouldn't suck your dick," eddie responded, pulling the gear shift out of park.

richie grumbled again, before taking another deep breath. "alright," he said, voice calmer and barely above a whisper. "just, slowly release pressure from the brake and add pressure to the gas. big toe. big toe _only."_ richie emphasized.

eddie laughed at that, but stopped and pressed his lips in a thin line when he saw richie look at him from the corner of his eye. "okay, okay." eddie agreed, listening to what richie instructed. "see, that's not so bad," richie said, but eddie wasn't so sure he wasn't talking himself up than eddie.

granted, richie refused to take eddie anywhere near the open road and completely shut him down when eddie suggested they go where bill learned how to drive so, they were in a cleared out area of woods where the only big thing they had to worry about was deer and maybe smaller near-by forest animals. eddie really didn't know why he was stressing so much.

after about an hour of eddie stopping, going, and being cautious of every leaf that flew by richie's windshield, he was satisfied and richie was green in the face. once eddie was in the passenger seat, and richie was safe in the driver's seat, eddie turned to him with a content look on his face. "that wasn't so bad, was it?" richie didn't answer and instead, pulled out of the forest and onto the road, taking the route to the burger place where he promised eddie he would get him food if he did well enough.

in richie's opinion, he didn't do that good at all, but they both knew he was buying them lunch anyway.

they sat in the booth near the back, richie ordering a chocolate milkshake, while eddie ordered water. "am i really that hopeless?" he asked, thinking richie was just making it out to be more dramatic than it was. richie shrugged, plucking the cherry off his whipped cream, reaching over the table to place it into eddie's open and waiting mouth.

he really was that bad but richie was also playing it up, though he was calmed down, so he answered it simply. "you need some work, but i'm sure in a few weeks you'll be as good as me,"

eddie smiled while biting down on the stem, pulling it out of richie's fingers. "you want to bet?" eddie asked, discarding the stem after eating the fruit.

richie smirked, tapping his fingers on the table. eddie had a problem with doing this, unknowingly, yet all in the same breath deliberately challenging richie. richie sucked in a chest heaving breath, stretching out his body, before relaxing back against the booth seat. "i think you'll learn with time, eds."

eddie groaned, leaning back too, crossing his arms. "you're no fun," he pouted.

richie shrugged, ignoring the waitress when she came by with their food, especially when she specifically leaned down in front of him. eddie ignored it too though it was a lot harder to keep his mouth shut then it was for richie to pretend like she wasn't even there. richie did that to a lot of people, including their friends.

eddie decided to upgrade his friends to 'their' friends, even if richie hasn't admitted it to himself yet that he was now apart of eddie's little club.

even if some tensions were still high, it was more than enough that ben and mike liked him so much. ben was so fond of richie and really no one understood why. not even beverly who amongst their whole group of friends, talked to him the most.

it also helped that unless it came to books, ben was oblivious to almost anything, though eddie couldn't say much because he was too sometimes.

eddie felt bad when ben told him he felt a little left out that he was the last one to know that they'd made it official, but his heart warmed all in the same breath when he followed it up with, _"but i'm really glad you guys worked it out. richie was just starting to feel like apart of the family."_

when eddie told richie this, richie sheepishly looked away and got squirmy, remarking that he _'liked haystack too.'_

eddie also knew of the other pressing issues that richie had. eddie didn't know how done richie was with bowers, and how done he was with richie. neither of them communicated in the halls and if looks were exchanged, they were blank ones which to eddie, was more intimidating than if they would just fight.

''so, what are you doing for your birthday this year?" richie asked casually after taking a sip of eddie's water. eddie thought about it, biting down on his lip as he played with the napkin on his lap. it just so happened that thanksgiving fell on his birthday this year and sonia hadn't expressed any kind of plan or intention on doing anything for either, still not talking to eddie.

"i'm not sure," eddie answered. "normally i'd do something with my mom or bill but because it's on thanksgiving this year, probably nothing." he said honestly. richie smiled a little. "well how about spending thanksgiving with me and my family?"

eddie looked up quickly. "really?" richie began laughing. "yeah, of course, bug. the more people to compliment my mom on her cooking, the better."

"isn't your other family going to be there?" eddie asked, taking another bite from his sandwich. richie shook his head. "we haven't had a family meal like that since... i was in sixth grade maybe?" that was how it was for eddie too. they hadn't done anything with extended since his mom and dad split up. "i would love to come then. i adore your parents," eddie answered with a bright smile. richie scoffed lightly, reaching in his back pocket to pull out his wallet. "i wouldn't know why. they're pretty lame to me,"

eddie shrugged. "all i know is, if my mom found us on the couch on halloween night, with nothing but a blanket covering our naked bodies, i definitely would have been kicked out- that night." richie hummed softly, looking beyond eddie, a cheeky smile on his face. "ah, good times." 

eddie faked laughed, lightly kicking richie's shin under the table.

"it's not a lot to do for your birthday," richie continued. "but if you're okay with it we can go out and do something fun the next day?" eddie shook his head. "you don't have to take me places for us to have fun, rich. thanksgiving with you and your family will be perfect enough." eddie gave a soft smile to the waitress who had finally gotten the hint to back off as she cleared their plates, promising to bring back the change. 

"if you get their early enough, you might even be able to help my mom make the dessert. she always asks for my help, but i've learned she doesn't actually want _my _help because of how much i fuck it up," eddie laughed at the thought. "i would love to help her,"

after getting back his change and leaving a tip, the two boys left, richie nonchalantly sliding his hand around eddie's waist, pulling him closer once they were out of the restaurant. "what time should i be over?" richie shrugged and just before he was ready to answer, a voice stopped him in his tracks, making both him and eddie stop moving.

"richie?" eddie definitely didn't recognize the voice but it was obvious richie did. as if he didn't even hear it, he began walking again, though this time faster, his grip on eddie's side tightening. "rich?" eddie asked quietly. "tozier!" the voice said louder this time. "keep fucking walking eddie," richie mumbled, fumbling with his jacket pocket to pull out his car keys. "here, go wait in the car," he said in a rushed voice, shoving the car keys into eddie's hands.

eddie stopped and glared up at him. "why?" eddie looked over his shoulder to see the person that knew richie jogging over to them, a smile on his face. he had blonde hair, almost like stanley's and his eyes were a hazel green color. it was too late for any of them to leave now without it looking suspicious so they were both stuck standing there. richie turned to face eddie, obviously pissed off. "when are you going to learn to just listen to what i tell you?" he spat quietly.

eddie was a little taken aback by the quiet outburst, furrowing his eyebrows.

"connor, hey," richie said passively when he turned away from eddie, the now named person walking in hearing distance. "didn't you hear me or what?" the person asked in a playful tone, slightly out of breath from jogging a longer distance than either of them walked. "wasn't sure if it was actually you or not," richie lied smoothly, his hand dropping from eddie's side.

"i didn't know you were in town?" richie asked. connor nodded, his eyes scanning richie up and down. "yeah, got in the other day." 

eddie felt uncomfortable as he shifted on his feet, and even though the conversation was going on right in front of him, he felt left out as if he spoke a different language. connor looked eddie up and down once, tipping his chin forward once. "new flavor of the week?" connor asked degradingly. eddie's jaw dropped open and a small gasp left his mouth.

richie stood taller, his body going tense.

"no, actually." richie cut in quickly, his voice hardening. "we're together," he answered. eddie wrapped his arms around his body, feeling more restless by the second. the tension was making him feel uneasy. he glanced up at richie to see that his jaw was clenched tight, and his eyes were narrowed. eddie knew that richie was on guard but didn't understand why at first though it was slowly starting to settle in.

it was obvious this person didn't come to have a civil conversation. connor laughed, though it held little amusement. "so henry wasn't kidding. you've actually settled down? who knew_ tozier the tease _would actually make it out of highschool tied down." eddie's eyes widen at the name and the mention of bowers._ he knew henry?_ "fuck off connor," richie spat, reaching a hand down to pull eddie protectively closer.

"oh c'mon! i'm just playing with you tozier. not like old times but this'll do, right?" connor asked, a suggestive tone in his voice.

eddie had heard enough by then. he pulled out of richie's grip, not giving the stranger a second glance as he walked the rest of the way to the car, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. "eddie!" richie called, then turned back to connor, taking a few steps forward. "fuck you," he growled. richie did same as eddie, ignoring any words that connor said as he walked away.

richie knew this is what connor wanted, a big scene that got richie riled up and eddie hurt. he figured henry told connor about the two of them. being related to henry made them alike in so many ways; conniving assholes just one.

eddie was in already in the car by the time richie got there. richie slid in next to him taking the keys that were sitting on the dashboard. eddie stared at his lap, fumbling with his fingers. "so connor...an old boyfriend?" eddie asked softly after a few minutes of silence. "barely," richie answered. "i..." richie sighed defeatedly, throwing his head back on the seat of the car.

"i have a past, eddie. i can't change that." eddie turned his head to get a better look at richie's face. richie was quiet for a few seconds before he continued. "connor's related to henry... that's how i know him. my guess is because i've been dodging bowers' calls, he sent an old three-day fling out here to fuck with us. i'm sorry, i should have told you i just... i feel like if i told you about every single person i'd been with it would do us more bad than good."

eddie shook his head, a small smile on his face. he reached over to grab richie's hand, bringing his attention back down to eddie. "i'm not mad at you rich," eddie said softly. "i'm not mad at all. there's going to be tons of people- henry included that is going to try breaking us up. i've already come to terms with that." eddie spoke gently, tracing over richie's scar littered knuckles.

"if anything i'm more offended he called me an ice cream flavor,"

richie chuckled, gripping eddie's wrists to pull him onto his lap. once eddie was situated, he cupped his hands around the smaller one's face, running the pads of his thumbs over eddie's cheeks and across his lip. "i'm sorry for snapping at you like that, bug. you know i didn't mean it, right?" richie asked, guilt crowding his eyes. 

eddie nodded quickly, pressing their foreheads together. "i know, richie. i told you i'm not mad,"

"how did i get so lucky?" richie whispered softly. eddie felt his heart speed up as he leaned forward, pressing a warm, loving kiss to older one's lips, tangling his fingers in the mess of curls on his head.

after pulling away, eddie pressed another dainty kiss on richie's freckled covered nose. "i think we both lucked out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SERIOUS question: do we want to do a Q & A for the characters after the book ends? there are a few more chapters before this is over, but i wanted to know now.
> 
> if you don't feel comfortable asking the questions for the characters in the comments you can DM @/softloser_reddie on instagram 
> 
> if we do it, the main character questions will be for 
> 
> richie, eddie, stan, and bill (and any other characters you have questions for) 
> 
> much, much love


End file.
